Willamette Statement Version 0.4 (With changes from this revision iteration marked). I tried to address everything people recommended, felt like I couldnt' come up with a satisfactory way to address a lot of suggestions, but looking at it I guess I did tweak a lot of things. Anyway feedback continues to be appreciated. Thanks again.
As a break from continuing to try to tweak the existing statement to perfection, I decided to write a whole new one that integrated everyone's suggestions from the start (or at least tried) and/or tried some completely new arrangements.
Someone had mentioned at some point to write it "like an opinion." When writing opinions for the ASUCD court I never had any problems because I didn't stress about following silly rules, and aimed to get right to the point without extraneous writing. If I felt like writing a one sentence paragraph, then I did and didn't fret. And I think they turned out very well. So I tried to write this version the same way.
This version is not meant to replace the existing statement but rather try out different ways of expressing its points (for example I wouldn't include the headings in an actual statement). If you could be so kind as to read this and compare/contrast the way it says things and is ordered with the previous statement I would be extremely grateful.
