Sometime's I Loathe My Brother's Girlfriend

   The following conversation occured today between myself and my older brother Tobin's saucy girlfriend (who is younger than me, such sauce).

( prologue )

"AFOREMENTIONED"
[19:53:56] Snail of DEATH: keep in mind my motivations are far from mushy - I intend to make him feel miserably inadequate to his younger brother on account of the aforementioneds' excellent girlfriend
[19:54:50] roxymartini: oh what do i care for motivation?
[19:54:57] roxymartini: my mission is complete!
[19:55:10] Snail of DEATH: just as long as I don't come across as sweet (=
[19:55:15] roxymartini: the aforementioned
[19:55:20] roxymartini: is tobin
[19:55:36] Snail of DEATH: uh
[19:55:46] roxymartini: but i think you mean your girlfriend
[19:55:58] Snail of DEATH: in my sentence the aforementioned, as "the last person mentioned" would clearly be "his younger brother"
[19:56:00] roxymartini: him feel inadequate
[19:56:07] Snail of DEATH: as tobin has no elder brother
[19:56:10] roxymartini: to his younger brother
[19:56:23] roxymartini: an aforementioned would be the he
[19:56:32] roxymartini: the him
[19:56:33] roxymartini: not theh younger brother
[19:56:39] roxymartini: but yes i know what you mean
[19:56:43] roxymartini: anyway
[19:56:50] roxymartini: you are sweet
[19:57:50] Snail of DEATH: uhhh no the aforementioned will always be the previous person mentioned, ie the younger brother
[19:58:04] Snail of DEATH: aforementioned, n.- The one or ones mentioned previously.
[19:58:14] roxymartini: okaywhatever

Juvenile Behavior
[19:58:26] Snail of DEATH: seriously don't you get tired of losing arguments to me? because winning them is getting less fun
[19:58:40] Snail of DEATH: the secret to success
[19:58:48] Snail of DEATH: is to not start arguments unless you know you are right
[19:59:58] roxymartini: hahahaha
[20:00:02] roxymartini: you are wrong on so many levels
[20:00:09] roxymartini: keep in mind who TOBIN's going out with
[20:00:29] roxymartini: i am just bored of arguing with one who has the mental capacity of a three year old
[20:00:41] roxymartini: (not that i love you any less)
[20:01:01] Snail of DEATH: right, and none of those things are related in any coherent sense to anything
[20:01:08] Snail of DEATH: if you have a rational goal here
[20:01:28] Snail of DEATH: it is to deny me any remaining enjoyment from winning arguments over you by convincing me that you truly are not sane
[20:01:30] roxymartini: just pointing out to you
[20:01:37] roxymartini: that your sentence
[20:01:43] roxymartini: seemed to say something different
[20:01:47] Snail of DEATH: to you
[20:01:48] roxymartini: than what you intended
[20:01:52] roxymartini: also to tobin
[20:01:54] roxymartini: (=
[20:01:59] Snail of DEATH: I do not feel guilty for your inadequacy
[20:02:20] roxymartini: what is the point of you talking to me
[20:02:29] roxymartini: it is to purvey some sort of thought process or meaning
[20:02:36] roxymartini: if you are not doing this successfully
[20:02:43] roxymartini: it is not my inadequecy
[20:03:05] roxymartini: i was just pointing out
[20:03:18] roxymartini: that DESPITE your lack of communication skills in this one example
[20:03:20] roxymartini: i understood
[20:03:26] roxymartini: and was willing to let it go
[20:03:49] Snail of DEATH: so you still maintain that "aforementioned" does NOT refer to the previously mentioned person?
[20:04:26] roxymartini: i am simply saying
[20:04:34] roxymartini: that in the structure of that sentence
[20:04:39] Snail of DEATH: you can be mature and admit the error and life can go on
[20:04:43] roxymartini: it appears you are refering to the "him"
[20:04:49] roxymartini: and not the little brother

AFOREMENTIONED II
[20:05:38] Snail of DEATH: alright lets go over this one more time:
[20:05:40] Snail of DEATH: keep in mind my motivations are far from mushy - I intend to make him feel miserably inadequate to his younger brother on account of the aforementioneds' excellent girlfriend
[20:05:52] roxymartini: okay
[20:05:57] roxymartini: by your definition then
[20:06:01] roxymartini: it can be either of you
[20:06:09] Snail of DEATH: Tobin is the subject of the sentence upon whom "the aforemened" is acting upon
[20:06:12] roxymartini: they were both previously mentioned
[20:06:26] Snail of DEATH: there is no concievable way "the aforementioned" can be tobin, as he is not even MENTIONED in the sentence
[20:06:42] Snail of DEATH: aforementioned is used in legal writing because it is quite clear
[20:06:53] Snail of DEATH: and unequivically refers to THE ONE PREVIOUS
[20:06:53] roxymartini: "him" is not tobin?
[20:07:15] roxymartini: n. The one or ones mentioned previously.
[20:07:36] roxymartini: you were both mentioned previously
[20:07:39] roxymartini: in the same sentence
[20:07:43] roxymartini: so by your definition
[20:07:49] roxymartini: either interpretation is rational
[20:07:52] Snail of DEATH: its not a reference to him as an object of the sentence but as something incidental to the sentence

Attempting to Escape Amiably
[20:08:14] roxymartini: i did, immediately following my statement, admit that you were prolly talkiing about yourself and not tobin though
[20:08:21] roxymartini: so, we're past it, yes?
[20:08:21] Snail of DEATH: no it is without exception interpreted as the single entity referred to previously
[20:08:47] roxymartini: say
[20:08:53] roxymartini: what part of the sentence was kristy?
[20:09:00] roxymartini: cause she's confused
[20:09:24] roxymartini: and are you trying to argue that your excellent girlfriend is as "inadequate" as me and tobin?
[20:09:27] Snail of DEATH: she is "the aforementioned's" excelletn girlfriend
[20:09:37] roxymartini: not yet
[20:09:41] roxymartini: but soon she might be
[20:09:45] roxymartini: hahahaha
[20:10:04] Snail of DEATH: ::smiles politely::
[20:10:40] roxymartini: *pets kris*
[20:11:02] roxymartini: aw.
[20:11:07] Snail of DEATH: ::destroys diane's arm::
[20:11:42] roxymartini: hahahaha
[20:11:42] roxymartini: how silly
[20:12:02] Snail of DEATH: having a pleasant weekend?
[20:13:58] roxymartini: yes. it is very nice and rainy out
[20:14:01] roxymartini: and yourself?
[20:14:13] Snail of DEATH: yes I am very nice and rainy out myself, thanks for asking.
[20:14:37] roxymartini: well
[20:14:43] roxymartini: all's well
[20:14:47] roxymartini: that ends now
[20:14:54] roxymartini: goodnight, Kris
[20:15:08] Snail of DEATH: I dunno, I think there are things that are well and do not end now
[20:15:32] roxymartini: oh yes
[20:15:43] roxymartini: like things that begin now
[20:15:56] roxymartini: and i didn't say the converse was true too
[20:16:05] roxymartini: it was not an "if and only if" statement
[20:16:27] Snail of DEATH: it implies that everything that ends now is good
[20:16:46] roxymartini: yes
[20:16:48] roxymartini: and good
[20:16:55] roxymartini: is a subjective value
[20:16:56] roxymartini: is it not?
[20:17:07] Snail of DEATH: I see no reason to dispute that
[20:17:33] roxymartini: i knew you'd see reason
[20:17:35] roxymartini: goodnight dear
[20:17:48] Snail of DEATH: I'm glad to see you are consistently not making sense
[20:17:51] Snail of DEATH: I hate inconsistency