Working the Bee Mines

   Internet's been down all day [Friday]. I can't figure out whats wrong. We have an internet for our connection, but I can't connect to any sites. Its not even sending as few packets of information back as it does when the system is down at my apartment complex. I reset my computer, the modem, and the router, respectively, and nothing seems to resolve the situation.
   Now I've resorted to writing an entryi in notepad (maybe I ought to download one of those lj update programs for offline writing such as this).

*** EDIT: 2:19pm Saturday*** - Internet is back. Don't know what was wrong. Anyway, yesterday I wrote this and the 30 in 30 on zombies I'm about to upload. I'd have made a phone post to remove any question that I got something in on the right day, but I'm saving those for the road trip. Anyway, I think a complete lack of internet access is a valid excuse. Just remember "today" in this entry refers to yesterday.


   Anyway, today at work:
   This morning I was cleaning out the tools we had salvaged from our truck that was totalled the other day. While I doing so Dave, the owner, asked me if I was still looking for other jobs. Assuming he was about to remind me that they really don't need me right now and they're doing me a big favour by employing me and I shouldn't get too comfortable, I was quick to answer that I was. To this he responded "Whats wrong with this job?"
   "Well I feel like I need a more college-graduate-oriented job"
   "We can make some graduate work for you around here, on monday I'll call my friend Dr Tanis and ask about getting us a research grant. I've already got microscopes and everything else you'll need."

   I had actually already checked to see if the Bee Research Facility at Davis was hiring any laboratory assistants. With the mysterious "colony collapse syndrome" decimating commercial bee populations at the moment, Bee research is of high interest. The Bee Research Facility at Davis, btw (which I visited while up there last week), is ramping itself back up. Its been just barely maintaining its existence since the nineties, without any professors attached to it at all. By November I believe it'll be back in operation with three attached professors and accompanying staff.



   Anyway, we spent much of the morning cleaning the stuff from the truck. Somewhere in the middle I was interrupted by Dave inviting us to watch an old John Wayne movie ("The Searchers") on his new laptop. Dave also gave me the traning manual to get an applicator's liscense, which would make me legally allowed to kill bees on my own (as opposed to the legally questionable services performed by the Davis Beekeepers Collective ;) (Scroll to the very bottem of that page to see me being a jerk) ) Later on Bob and I went and did some calls.

15 of 30 - IV - Zombies Part II - Practical Tips for Zombie Survival

   I meant to read The Zombie Survival Guide before writing this entry, but I never got around to it. As such, this treatise will not benefit from the wisdom of that book (which I heard somewhere is pretty good). On the other hand, I can therefore say that everything contained herein is my original zombie survival thoughts.

   Anyway, as they say, "zombies are so hot right now." Last year it was pirates, now the hot ticket is zombies. Next year, maybe it'll be zombie-pirates, or something.
   One of my least favourite things is people acting like blooming idiots in movies. The primary reason I can't stand most horror movies is because I simply cannot stand the level of idiocy usually displayed by the protagonists. Zombie movies are no exception, what with people wandering alone into dark places, getting themselves cornered, etc etc. Here are my thoughts on how to survive.
   For the purposes of this entry, let us assume zombies tend to be fast like in 28 Days Later rather than the classic slow hulking.

When the Zombies Come
   Living humans have one major practical advantage over zombies: ability to intelligently use their their limbs. Use this to your advantage.
   Most obviously, this enables living humans to wield weapons. This fact almost never goes unnoticed. But it can also be used to manipulate one's environment.
   For example, can a zombie operate a doorknob? In 28 Days Later they seem to get around effectively enough that it would seem they can (vis-a-vis running around facilities that have metal doors which would be hard to break down), though this is never shown. They can certainly break down wooden doors, but what about a metal door with a simple doorknob? On any account, they certainly would not be able to get through a door operated by a keypad or a heavy locked door.
   In many zombie related scenarios, they are indeed thwarted by locked front doors, but inevitably break through windows, whether they are boarded up or not. What else can zombies not do without intelligent limb use though? They cannot climb ladders.
   If you can find an attic which can only be accessed by a ladder, you should be zombie safe. Additionally, tree houses should be suprisingly safe. In a pinch in fact, any tree or climbable telephone pole or such should be sufficient.
   And of course, there have been countless zombie related events where characters run and hide in dark places when a perfectly climbable tree or such was close at hand.

   With a lot of ground-level windows and a lack of internal doors and such, residential houses seem to be a zombie death trap, yet they are the perennial first line of defense in depictions. Others have recommended hiding in the woods. While this makes it less likely you'll run into zombies, it doesn't really make you terribly much safer if some do find you.
   At least in Ireland, and elsewhere in the Old World, there are abundant structures that are absolutely optimum for zombie survival. Places that have specifically been designed to be impregnable to zombie-style attacks. In Ireland, you are absolutely guaranteed to be with a days walk of a medieval tower or castle. Despite several hundred years of disuse, most of these are still sturdy to a height of several floors. Many towers do not even have a first floor entrance -- entrance was gained on the second floor via a ladder which could be pulled up to thwart the zombies enemy raiders. Find a ladder and be 100% zombie proof as long as you have food and the zombies don't develop advanced siege engines.
   Additionally, even the castles with first floor entrances frequently have sturdy metal gates placed in the entrance by the Office of Public Works to prevent people from going in and getting themselves killed (I could usually find a second or third floor window to clamber up through though). Break lock, replace with one of your own, and you're pretty good.
   Now of course, I'm pretty sure not one of you is in Ireland, and only a very very few are somewhere else where one might find castles. I just had to go on that tangent though because I thought it was rather novel that in the coming zombiepocalyse castles will be so useful.
   Lacking castles, I would recommend investing in a ladder (a rope ladder might be better since it'd be easier to pull up behind you), find a warehouse (they usually have few windows and doors), pile an ungodly amount of stuff in front of what ground level doors there are, break roof access lock, and call it your little castle.
   Basically I think a ladder is the single most important peice of zombie survival equipment. Zombies catch you wandering down the street with one, quickly prop it agianst a building and escape. Pull the ladder up with you and by the time the zombies reach your floor you can ladder your way down another side or make a bridge to the top of another building or something.

   Also note that since zombies can neither swim nor operate a boat, people out at sea on boats, small islands, or oil rigs, should be totally fine so long as their food holds out (learn to fish!)

   You will want protective clothing. At the most basic, you'll want long sleeves and pants, gloves, (and to protect against infected blood spray) goggles, and some kind of makeshift bandana or such to cover your mouth. You should be within walking distance of a firestation. Fireman gear will give you extremely good protection against zombie attacks, though it may be a little combersome for those not in good shape. Additionally, if you steal the firetruck, firehose is probably a great way to clear a crowd of zombies. For that matter, many firehouses have towers for such purposes as drying their hoses or practicing fighting fire, which may be only ladder-accessable and therefore a good zombie proof perch.
   The very most optimum zombie survival outfit would probably be riot police gear (as illustrated in 28 Days Later). Be sure to stop by your local police station to see if they have such equipment.
   If you're going for that medieval theme and there's a museum near you or something, a suit of armour should be pretty good too, though ultra heavy. Plate-mail is overkill, don some chain mail, pick up a longsword and shield, and practice your zombie killing battle cry.


When You Know the Zombies Are Coming
   In 28 Weeks Later, the government was presumably taking extensive precautions for a second zombie outbreak. It turns out this really just consisted of totally panicking and acting like idiots. It really got me thinking about what they should have done.
   It should have been fairly easy to zombie proof things as well. In the rebuilt parts of town, put heavy doors on every building and within the buildings. Make it so these are all opened by keypad -- you can make every code in the city "123456," it doesn't matter because there are no reports of zombies ever coming near the capability to intelligently enter such information. Secondly, the way buildings already have fire supplies about where you "break glass in case of fire" to access firehoses and extinguishers and such, place zombie survival gear in such a way. Specifically, make sure bite/scratch proof clothing is readily available for everyone.
   This alone should solve your problem. For extra safety maybe make it so you can easily cordone off small sections of the city to prevent outbreak spread.

   This of course doesn't look like the makings of a good movie, since if the government did this there'd be no outbreak and it would be quite anticlimatic. I think you could still make a movie however if you made the downfall of society come from human failings rather that blatant large-scale stupidity. Remember FEMA's poor response to Hurricane Katrina? You could make a point about that, where someone skimped on money or hired their friend who was just a horse-breeder to institute the disaster preparedness plans, and consequently the whole thing got botched up. Now, not only do you have people not acting implausibly dumb, you're actually making a point.

16 of 30 - IV - Strategy Games

   I've always been a huge fan of strategy games. I've been a player of Dune II, Red Alert II, Warcraft II, Age of Empire II, Civ II & III, Starcraft, and possibly others.
   Originally, opposing sides had either units that were more or less exactly the same, or at least units that looked different but were functionally identical. Then the makers decided to change it up, make the strategy a little asymmetrical and give the various sides different sorts of units. Starcraft even made the means of production slightly different. One very major aspect has always been the same though: the economics.
   Invariably, one must harvest something in order to produce your tanks. It is odd to me that this should be the unexceptional rule, since throughout history only Columbian narcoterrorists have really had such a direct corrolation between production and military output. Normally, the military strategists have a set budget. Yes they have to fight fluctuations of it in Congress, but dear god don't make THAT part of the game. Not only is it unrealistic, I find it incredibly annoying, as keeping an eye on my workers and balancing production between economic capital and military units is not what I play strategy games to do.
   In addition your vehicles will have a build cost but no maintenance cost. This allows one to simply continue to build up bigger and bigger armies over time. This is also very unrealistic, as the limit to military build-up on a strategic scale has always been available support budget, not build time. For example, I would imagine the "cost" of an infantryman is somewhere near half the yearly cost to maintain him anyway, or such (since what you're paying for is primarily just paying him during training). So you see, this is not only unrealistic, but also effects the strategic interplay of the game.

   I think it would be interesting to make a strategy game that not only breaks from the standard harvest-based economics, but has the various factions work on different economic models. Here is what I thought up:
Democracy: The military forces of a democracy will have a set budget. However, for every person they lose (counting both infantry units and members of vehicle crews), they lose some of their budget (as popular support for the war goes down). Consequently the Democracy forces will want to emphasize stand-off attack weapons and expensive technology that will minimize losses.
Communism: Communist forces will have a set budget. It doesn't matter how good you do, the budget comes from those who produce in accordance with ability, to those who need in accordance with need. In fact, your budget might even go DOWN if you're doing well in the scenario. Purchase of additional units, however, isn't done by paying a set price, but rather requesting the units from central command, whom will decide whether or not you really need the unit, and send it to you with substantial delay. (= Units are cheap, however, and maintenance costs, especially personnel pay, is low. Available units are quite technologically advanced for their costs.
Local Warlord Kleptocracy: Budget depends on holding on to certain key stratego-economic points. Also, likely funded by a Democratic or Communist force by proxy (this money will probably just be a set amount). Kleptocratic forces will probably use cheap out-of-date predecessors of Democratic/Communist units, and technicals, and such.
Insurgents: My main thought with insurgents is that whereas other factions will have structures and vehicles, as is usual in strategy games, the insurgents will have primarily only personnel units. For example more units will be recruited by a "recruiter" individual, whereas for most other forces they'd come from barracks and such. There will be some buildings however, such as weapons caches and bomb factories. The basic idea is that most insurgent units will only be detectable up close so they'll be hard to find. I'm not sure how they'll be funded. I'm thinking they'll get a certain bounty for killing enemy forces, and perhaps budget increases when the enemy accidently kills civilians. ...and maybe a small permanent budget to tide them over - this is the money Iran is giving them ;)
Narco-Terrorists: Think FARC-EP. They'll be the only ones to work like most stategy games -- budget will come directly from operating and harvesting hidden drug fields and labs.
Mercenaries: The Mercenaries work for whomever and are entirely funded via bounties on destroyinig enemy units.

   And of course, as I noted above, maintenance costs should be such that the size of your forces is limited by the budget, and can't grow ad infinitem until you can zerg rush your enemies with mammoth tanks. You'll have to actually utilize tactics and strategy to destroy your enemy!



   So there you are. I think someone should make this game.