Knowing ... How Much A Movie Can Suck

   So the delightful miss Amber and I watched the movie Knowing the other day. You know that Nicholas Cage movie where he knows what's going to happen. Anyway I'm about to give some spoilers so be warned, but I don't actually recommend watching the movie so you might as well just read on.

   So first of all Nicholas Cage as we all know always plays the exact same character. In this one he was a little more annoyingly nervous and confused the whole time though. He also had a lot of overwrought angst because his son was all rebelling cause his wife had died the year before.

   Christian undertones begin early on and quickly escalate to overtones and overwhelmingtones. It basically turns out that four creepy men in black (who are probably the four angels of the apocalypse) / aliens from another dimension (a la Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skulls?) were warning Nicholas Cage (and now see you know you fail as a character actor if people can never help but think of you by your own name) of the coming apocalypse because they want to steal his son away along with a young girl to start life over on a new planet. It's kind of odd they went through this trouble to warn him considering in the end he did everything he could to stop them but they took the kid anyway. In the end the four men become translucent and you can see their angel wings and they board their spaceship with the kids right before a solar flare destroys the Earth. Good times.

   And it doesn't end there, first, to be truly gratuitously christian, Nicholas Cage goes back to tell his father, who is a pastor (whom he hasn't spoken to in years cause he hates religion), that basically he was right and he's sorry. And then we see the kidnapped children frolicking in field of wheat towards a single big tree as the spaceship takes off in the background. Gratuitous much?


   As for redeeming qualities, it had a plane crash which was laugh out loud funny. It was just pretty ridiculous. And then there was a subway train crash which looked like it might have been cool, but I think I was falling asleep by then (the whole thing started out kind of slow)


   I give this movie: D- (possibly even D-- or F+, I mean it could have been worse, but I really didn't think it was good)


Unrelated Picture of the Day

   Also in unrelated news, Dresden Codak is an excellent webcomic that rarely updates, so you should be aware it's been updated.