Not Asking People How They Are
Jan. 23rd, 2023 10:27 pmPhone: ::ring ring, ring ring"
Me, answering: "Edmonds Honey, this is Kris"
Person: "Hi this is [first name only] how are you?"
Me, sounding hesitant as I try to comb my brain if I should immediately know this person "I'm good how are you?"
Person: "Good, thanks, anyway I called because..."
This seems to be the standard way Australians call businesses (whereas in America when calling a business you usually try to get in the reason why you're calling in your first line, and introduce yourself as "Hi my name is X" rather than "this is X" as if the person should know you).
Even once I got used to the fact that callers were falsely implying I should know them, I was always finding it very annoying that their question more or less compelled me to ask them how they are at a point in the conversation when I really didn't care and wanted them to get to the point. But finally I came up with a solution.
Now instead of saying "I'm good how are you?" I respond with "I am good and I hope you are as well." I love how it catches them offguard as an unexpected response. Most often they hesitate for a second and then respond "I'm good thanks" in kind of a confused manner like they know it's not-quite-sequitur from what I'd just said but its too late to stop themselves from this automatic response. I love it.
It might seem unfriendly to specifically avoid asking people how they are, and maybe it is but really I'm just trying to preserve the sanctity of actually meaning it while asking someone how they are. In related news when I go through the grocery store check out and ask the cashier how they are it quite annoys me when I can't get them to give a genuine response.
When people ask me in person how I am, if there's not a more specific status report to be made generally I will very enthusiastically say I am living the dream. When some more cynical souls have tried to get me to admit I'm being sarcastic or something I will not budge from this emphatically cheerful status report.
Also on the subject of breaking conversational expectations, when bidding customers goodbye I like to tell them to "have a delightful day." It's just different enough than the usual merely "good" day.
Totally Unrelated Picture of the Day
I recently took a friend (not the person pictured) to local tourist site the "12 Apostles." In this picture I purposefully caught a tourist and tourist infrastructure, for reasons of cynicism. "Better" (the shot taken by billions of tourists) shot I took at hte time of the iconic rock formation itself here.