Some (Spoiler Free) Movie Reviews

[aggienaut]

Greyhound
   I had really wanted to see Greyhound when it came out in theatres but then.. it didn't, due to being released at the height of the pandemic. I made a concerted effort to try to watch this movie a few weeks ago but I could not find any legal way for me to watch it (it appeared to be available via some television channel but I don't have a TV and am not about to subscribe to a whole tv channel service to watch one god damn movie). Then I tried torrenting it but was unsuccessful in even this. It's hard to be a pirate any more. Then I asked my friends, among whom are several leet haxxor IT professionals -- my birthday was coming up the following Saturday so I dropped that somehow acquiring this movie for me would be a nice present that should be easy and free for them to accomplish. Yeah no no one came through and I spent my 40th birthday eating pancakes by myself.
   So instead Ii watched Dunkirk since it was on Netflix.


Dunkirk
   At first I thought something was wrong with my sound system and actually fiddled with the nobs and the settings before realizing the movie actually begins with a few minutes of complete silence as some soldiers walk through (the town of Dunkirk?). Not even footfalls or other small noises. I guess they thought they were being artsy but I thought it was stupid and distractingly frustating. It would have been more poignant I think if it was _mostly_ silent but with some small noises like their footsteps and maybe occasional and increasing distant gunfire.
   The movie plot is simple, this one protagonist soldier (do we even get his name? I forget) is trying to escape Dunkirk even if it means cutting queues, stowing away, impersonating others, etc. He has no backstory. No character has any backstory. No character has any character development. Everyone just does what they do. It also follows a fighter pilot and the civilian crew of a rescue boat. These different story lines are ostensibly ongoing simulteniously but disconcertingly it will be the middle of the night for one set of characters then we flash to another set who are experiencing daylight and back to the people who are experiencing nighttime, all within what 50 miles of eachother?
   Altogether, it was a bit fun in as much as I always like WWII style settings but being that it was actually a pretty insipid movie imo. I give it a C+


Topgun II
   Opening scrawl: "The Navy has established a training school for its elite 1% ... they call it ... Topgun: Maverick" and here's me thinking to myself uh what, yeah maybe they call it Topgun but I don't tihnk they call it Topgun Maverick. Okay mate we're 10 seconds into the movie and you're killing me with this grammar/syntax crash.
   Saw the movie in the theatre with my friend Trent (who had already seen two other movies in the theatre earlier that day???). The movie was in a lot of places very predictable, harping on obvious themes (we get it he's getting older, has friction with superiors because he's a "maverick," and his former colleagues are all admirals now), and obvious homages to the original. A lot of scenes that made most of the audience laugh out loud had me rolling my eyes, maybe I'm too cynical.
   Weird decision I'm puzzling over, so they homaged the infamous "homoerotic volleyball scene" from the original with a homoerotic beach football scene, but their one female fighter pilot is barely glimpsed in the background and was wearing a very conservative bathing suit. Were they trying to go out of their way not to sexualize her? If so its kind of weird to do so as they're overtly sexualizing the entire male cast in that scene.
   Also I thought it was funny how adamantly ambiguous the movie remained about the baddies to be faced at the end. They're a "rogue state" but no location is ever given, there's no flags or other identifying features. And even their fighters are not MiGs but "fifth generation fighters." One helicopter seen is clearly a Soviet designed Mi-24 but then again they also have US designed F-14s so its hard to say they're anything other than Baddyland. The snow and pine forests seem to rule out the middle east, and its obviously somewhere adjoining carrier accessible sea. The remaining options then are coast of China, North Korea (actually this is quite plausible), Russian coast, or somewhere in Scandinavia/Baltics. This obviously is sort of an exercise in futility since they clearly want it to be an entirely fictional place, which I think is kinda a cop out (what afraid of hurting film sales in North Korea?).
   Ultimately the movie does deliver on its trademark chair gripping action scenes, and I enjoyed that there was kind of a twist to the final mission rather than it simply being a success. Then I walked out of the movie theatre feeling like shit I'm 40 and I'm not even a washed up fighter pilot what am I doing with my life. Altogether I give it a B

Comments

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, it wasn't much of a birthday for you, was it? I hope you had a good one despite everything.

BTW, did you ever get that little glass piece I mailed to you? Just curious.

- Erulisse (one L)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yes! I actually just messaged you (:

I think it may have been the only birthday present I received (:

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

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[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Well, at least Maverick was entertaining.

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

"shit I'm 40 and I'm not even a washed up fighter pilot what am I doing with my life.," ha ha ha ha! Too right. I often feel this after really dramatic movies, but of course my narrative is, "shit, I'm 65 and I've never had a catastrophic love affair, run away to a Greek island, hitchhiked around Europe, saved a life." But then I remember some of the similar things I HAVE done, and I think, actually, those are kind of cinematic as well.

[wantedonvoyage.livejournal.com]

Weird decision I'm puzzling over, so they homaged the infamous "homoerotic volleyball scene" from the original with a homoerotic beach football scene, but their one female fighter pilot is barely glimpsed in the background and was wearing a very conservative bathing suit. Were they trying to go out of their way not to sexualize her? If so its kind of weird to do so as they're overtly sexualizing the entire male cast in that scene.

Considering the chatter around Tom Cruise, an interesting decision indeed.

Sorry your milestone birthday was not more momentous, I spent my 40th grieving my father-in-law and recovering from eye surgery so i can definitely relate. At this age they are mostly a letdown, aren't they?

I will say my friends definitely made up for it when I turned 50.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

aww, I wish I could go to Australia or you could come here to Calif so I could make you a birthday cake and have a party for you!
I was totally bored with Top Gun when I first saw it except for getting to ogle some cute guys but at the time I wasn't thinking "homoerotic", i was thinking "this movie is dumb but I get to look at some hot guys, is this how straight guys feel when they watch dumb movies with tits and ass?"

[bearshorty.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Sorry it wasn't a more thrilling birthday but I have found that most people turning 40 around me and my own 40s were not the most inspiring birthdays. Pancakes sound good though.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

"Homoerotic" is definitely a bit of hyperbole but it's become an established hyperbole for the scene, kind of intentionally poking fun at it. I'd say more accurately it's, I believe the term is something like "cake service," ie intentionally serving up ogling material.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Normally I don't think I do anything for my birthday and I frankly am glad not to be reminded of the slow march of time, but admittedly it would have been nice if people had done something for me on my 40th to at least try to cheer me up over the undeniable milestone that it is.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Haha oh is there chatter about Tom Cruise?? o_O

And yes "at this age" birthdays are generally a let down. I am usually happy not to be reminded, though with 40th being an undeniable milestone I could have at least used some consoling. But also also I kind of feel like life is just in stasis until Cristina is with me.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Speaking of saved a life and cinematic moments, I think one of the most cinematic moments in my life was when I was in a sailboat trying to rescue another boat's man-overboard in choppy cold water. The kid was on a stand up paddleboard thing and as we passed him on our way to get upwind and drift down he dove in and tried to swim to us, which seemed immenently dumb. He actually got to us reached up for the rail and fell short, but I lunged and literally caught him by the finger knuckles, which was enough to then get a better grip and pull him aboard. That barely caught hand has always felt like absolutely something out of a movie.

(and then we found out the reason he had desperately swam for us was because he'd lost his mother overboard already and was desperate for us not to waste time trying to get him off his board as safely as possible while his mother was somewhere actually in the water (and we then got her too but the whole thing was quite the drama)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

True.

I think there's an actual brick-and-mortar movie rental place in the nearby town I might see if they have Greyhound. Though my computer doesn't have a CD reader so I don't know how they could have it in a form I could watch. lol.

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

I take it that was in your role as an EMT or firefighter? This didn't just happen when you were out for a pleasure jaunt, did it?

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Believe it not it was in fact during a pleasure jaunt!!

But also it was my 100th rescue of a drowning person (technically a "distressed swimmer" when they don't drown). Quite the dramatic way to reach that milestone!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Full story: https://emo-snal.livejournal.com/222952.html

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

lol I'm surprised that there's a rental place at all. Wow.

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

Wheee-O what an exciting story!

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

Wait — did you used to be a lifesaver, as they call them in Oz?

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

I Googled it and found out it's closing permanently at the end of May!! Two days from the moment I was Googling it! So i rushed over there but the guy said Greyhound was never released on dvd, just went straight to streaming. Damn this movie is impossible to see!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Lifeguard back in California (:

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

dangit!

[wantedonvoyage.livejournal.com]

Yeah I do hear that. my crew did rally and showed me a good time for my 50th though.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

lolol

[pigshitpoet.livejournal.com]

topgun
"rogue state"
sounds familiar, like industrial military complex
i tire of 'gripping action scenes' if there lacks a plot
was there a good plot?

looks like some great sea action

https://youtu.be/hdO9G_jJn2M

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Holy shit that link is to the whole movie on netflix for free!? How! Imma watch it tonight before it gets taken down!

Thanks!

[pigshitpoet.livejournal.com]

enjoy!