LJ Idol Mini-Season A Million
On any account I'll be participating and encourage you to as well. It's good for you!
And here's an unrelated photo I took the other day:

James leaned against the railing beside the estate to finish his cigarette. Nearby an obvious papparazzi was awkwardly trying to look like he wasn't waiting around. He was a forgettable sort of ugly with his unkempt hair, untrimmed beard, clashy hawaiian shirt, and obviously overpriced camera with bazooka-like telephoto lens. As he finished the cigarette James couldn't resist remarking to him "the countess isn't even here you know?"
The papparazzi looked flustered and stammered "wha, wha, what? how do you know?"
"Oh, I know," responded James with a wink as he turned to walk toward the entrance. He straightened his bow tie as he approached. A burly security guard in a suit with a black tie looked up as he approached the gate.
"I'm on the list," said James smoothly, and with a motion that appeared to be pointing at a name on the clipboard he actually deftly deposited a hundred dollar bill. He barely broke his stride as he slid smoothly past the guard, who professionally affirmed he was on the list as he pocketed the money.
Later on, in the ballroom, everything was going according to plan. James had been making eyes with the countess' beautiful daughter, who was key to getting into the plot. He would ask her to dance and slip the tracking device onto her. Their eyes met across the hall and they began to walk towards eachother, people parting between them like the sea. Suddenly a man stumbled backwards right into James.
"Hey!" exclaimed James, and as the man began to stammer his apologies, James recognized him as the papparazzi, now clad in an ill-fitting tuxedo.
"How'd YOU get in here?" growled James between clenched teeth.
"I was on the list" replied the other man with a sheepish grin.
"Oh lord," breathed James as he rolled his eyes. Did this chump also bribe the security guard? Does the guard have no shame at all?
"And let me guess you're not a papparazzi?" asked James as he looked up to try to find the countess' daughter but she was no longer where he'd last seen her.
"I'm a family friend!" said the papparazi in a badly acted attempt at sincerity.
"No you're not" rejoined James as he deftly fished a small camera out of the papparazis jacket pocket.
"Hey! That's mi--" the man began to object
"Look just stay out of trouble and I won't have security throw you out" said James pocketing the camera and moving away back into the crowd to try to find the countess' daughter again.
Later that night James crept deftly out of the daughter's room well inside the secured part of the chateau and made his way down to the room in the dungeons where the McGuffin device was kept. He expertly disabled the alarm and picked up the small device. As he was hurrying down toward the helipad in an upper hall bathed in moonlight from the row of windows, an alarm began to wail. "oops" he mumbled to himself as he began to run. Suddenly a guard appeared from a doorway ahead, and almost immediately fired a shot at him. The shot missed and shattered a nearby wnidow. James fired back with the small gun he had pulled from inside his jacket, and dove out the window, expertly landing in a hedge below.
Climbing out of the hedge and dusting the leaves off himself James was gratified to see that across the ornate flowerbeds, fountains and hedge topiaries in the cold moonlight a small catering truck was still on the property and near it stood a janitor who had been pushing a trash bin towards it, still cleaning up after the fancy ball so the property would be pristine in the morning. But in the mean time James had to deal with security. To his left he saw a tall hedge maze and ran into it as uniformed security guards began to run into the garden. In the hedge maze it was a simple matter to hide in the hedge itself in a nook until a security guard came by. Then James clonked him over the head and put his large jacket on over his tuxedo jacket and his distinctive hat on his head. He then exited the hedge maze while shining his newly acquired flashlight around as if he was looking for someone, as he made his way to the catering truck. Despite the ruckus the janitor was still unloading trashcans from the cart onto the truck.
"Excuse me sir," said James in a tone of brusque authority, "we have a situation here please allow me to search your truck"
"Yes, of course," said the employee in a tired sounding voice and beckoned James around to the back. James planned to expertly knock the man out as he came around the corner but much to his surprise as he came around to the back of the truck he found himself staring down the long barel of a gun with a silencer and behind it the ugly face of the paparazzi.
"You??" James couldn't help showing his surprise.
"Quite." said the man with neither a stammer nor a smirk. James carefully manouvered his gun hand in preparation to shoot this new adversary. Just then the small camera in his pocket exploded with electrical currents, effectively tasering James. As he involuntarily doubled over the other man relieved him of the McGuffin Device and disappeared into the night.
“There have been several officer-involved shooting incidents in the Los Angeles area in the early hours of this morning, though Police Chief Charlie Beck has issued a statement assuring us that the situations were unrelated and should not be cause for alarm” [click]
“…and reportedly a fourth incident in Lakewood” [click]
“…clearly the police are out of control Tom, I think there’s more to the story of this morning’s shootings, and I’m demanding answers…” [click] why is it always talk radio in the mornings?? David wonders. It’s something he had often wondered. The drive to work would be much more peaceful with some good music, rather than jarring banter about the news or latest entertainment gossip.
He turns off the radio and suffers through the morning rush-hour traffic in silence. It’s going to be another one of those days, he thinks to himself as he finally pulls into the parking structure at work. He walks briskly into the building, emerges from the elevator and enters the offices of the law firm at five to nine. Alyssa, the office manager, pointedly looks at her watch as he walks past. Another day in paradise, he says to himself.
Ten A.M. at the coffee stand downstairs, the news is on: “…several more shootings reported this morning. This is a bit unusual, even for Los Angeles, here’s what people are saying on twitter…”
“…well John, I do think there’s something going on here, I’m thinking it might be al-qaeda, or maybe the drug cartels are going to war in LA…”
It's a bit odd but David doesn't dwell on it, street violence certainly wouldn't be permitted to spill over into the nicer parts of town.
Around 11:00 David has sorted and delivered the mail, made all requested copies (and collated and sorted, and thought I spent four years in college to do THIS a dozen times), refiled all case files and loose documents that the lawyers are done looking at. He’s swept the floor and collected all the random paperclips. He’s even lined up the pens so they’re all lined up in a row on the table. He sits down to try to think of something else to do, and at that moment Alyssa walks in. She’d be attractive if she weren’t such a bitch – She’s only a few years older than David. Blonde hair in a ponytail, cute black collared shirt and knee-length pin-stripe skirt. With only a brief disapproving glance at David she steams out again.
Though she’s no longer in the room David jumps up and paces around looking for something to busy himself with. Minutes later he receives a call from the temp staffing agency whom he technically works for,
“Is everything alright, David?”
“Uh, yeah, why?
”Well, we just received a call from the office manager over there, she said you didn’t seem to be working very hard…”
As the day goes on, the support staff are increasingly speculating about just what IS going on out there. – the lawyers themselves seem oblivious, all too drowned in the pursuit of “billable hours” to notice. While delivering and collecting things from secretaries’ desks, David notes that many of them have the news up on their computer monitors. It’s peculiar news, but it doesn’t make the day go any faster. If anything it makes the day seem even slower, as David becomes impatient to go on lunch and have an opportunity to catch an uninterrupted news report. The clock slowly ticks around to noon.
Finally it’s twelve and David rushes off downstairs and across the street to the food court. As he wolfs down his thai food he catches snippets from the television despite the crowd around it – “…eyewitnesses report ‘dozens and dozens’ of shots fired…” “…the police department is still saying that there’s no reason to panic, though they have added that people should not travel unnecessarily in Los Angeles today.” “…here’s an interesting new report John, we’re getting reports now of CDC vans – that’s Center for Disease Control – near some of the accident sites.”
An eyewitness describes how one of the shooting victims was "acting crazy" and kept coming at the cops despite being shot "dozens of times." the news anchors speculate it might be some new drug. Just before the end of lunch there's actually footage from a news helicoptor of someone (their face blurred) walking lurchingly down a street as people run away. A police car peels in and the officer is seen shouting from behind his door, two more squad cars swoop in beside him and the blurred figure starts towards them. You see muzzle flashes from the police's hand guns and the figure doesn't seem to hesitate. The police pour a continuous fusilade of fire on the figure, and though the news has blurred out a wide area around them you can tell there are clouds of blood being knocked off. Finally the figure stumbles to the ground but still appears to be moving. The channel cuts to the anchors again, who seem visibly shaken, at a loss for words for a moment before desperately launching into inane babble.
David returned to work a bit shaken himself. This was no longer and odd distraction on the news, this was becoming quite concerning. Office staff no longer tried to hide that there were more interested in listening to the news than doing work. A senior lawyer came out and yelled at everyone for not working. David noticed the offices of the firm's partner's were empty. Soon it was in the news that the national guard had been called out, and as columns of humvees moving down the streets were shown on the new, one by one empty chairs started appearing behind desks as secretaries came up with excuses to go home to their families or just plain left.
By three most of the support staff had disappeared. Unfortunately since David’s immediate supervisor was Alyssa, he knew he was unlikely to get permission to leave early. Finally around three thirty, with nearly no support staff remaining, David was walking past with a box of files when Alyssa emerged from her office looking flustered and distracted.
“Hey, um, everyone’s going home early today. You can, um, clock out and go home” she said as she locked her office door. David straightened out his work area, grabbed his coffee travel mug, and was out the door. None of the lawyers had moved.
Overhead dark clouds scudded across the sky on September winds as David entered the parking garage. As he exited, he called his mother and sister, and found out they were home already. He called his girlfriend but she didn’t pick up.
Unfortunately the drive home was along the 91 freeway, just south of Los Angeles county and jam packed with traffic out of LA on the best of days, and on this day it was barely crawling. David sat in the mired traffic and listened to the radio, no longer noticing that no stations were playing music.
“we’re here in the Channel 7 newscopter over Crenshaw Boulevard and it looks like there’s a general disturbance down there, lots of people running around…” came in amid the background beat of helicopter blades “…there appear to be several people covered in blood and, oh god, one of them has just tackled a woman and … we’ve got her zoomed in on the camera here and she’s struggling, and, I can’t tell but it looks almost like he’s biting her. And now she’s not moving and he’s running again. He’s come up on the cars backed up at the freeway onramp now Ron. He’s trying to pull the driver out of this car it looks like. And someone else just grabbed him from behind to pull him off. Okay now there’s two men trying to hold the crazy one down, he’s gotta be on drugs or something Ron he’s giving them one hell of a time … oh it looks like the woman he attacked earlier is okay, some neighbours are tending to her and it looks like she’s getting up now and… oh my god she just lashed out at them, I don’t believe this Ron. Now they’re running away. She’s running toward the onramp and … okay now people are getting out of their cars and running up the onramp to get away. The men who were trying to subdue the first man are running up the onramp as well, they appear to be bleeding and the first man doesn’t seem to have been slowed down. I don’t believe this Ron, this is madness.”
David eyed the bumper-to-bumper traffic around him nervously. It was essentially not moving. The people in the other cars were looking around nervously themselves, no doubt listening to the same reports, and having the same thoughts.
“…there’s a veritable stampede down the highway now, Ron, cars can’t move and people are getting out and running—“
“—where are the police Jerry can you see any police there?”
“Yes the police have arrived at the base of the intersection but, I think the situation is just getting out of control here Ron, the police are spread too thin. This immediate situation here would take a number of cars to secure the area but, you know, there’s still ongoing situations throughout the city”
“What about the national guard, have you seen any of them yet?”
“No Ron, they just got called in an hour or so ago so they’re not suited up and out on the streets yet. Also, Ron, in this case right here the police car can’t drive up the onramp past the abandoned cars either”
David nervously tapped his fingers on the wheel, and felt sweat trickle down his back despite the car being well-cooled by the AC. He tried calling his girlfriend again but the network was busy.
“Ron, we’re watching a police officer engage one of these … people. It looks like he just emptied his pistol’s magazine into the man and he’s still coming. Now he’s using the tazer and the crazy is down …. And he’s back up as if nothing happened. Officer is backpedalling quickly. Two more squad cars just got here. Many many shots fired. If you’re broadcasting the live feed from the camera, I’m sorry you’re probably having to blur out a lot of blood. I can’t believe this though. Okay it looks like the man is down.”
David noticed several cars pulling onto the highway shoulder to try to get ahead, but within minutes that avenue was completely clogged as well. A few motorcycles weaved through the stopped cars. One motorcyclist even looked like he was bleeding on the arm.
“Oh we’ve got a bad looking situation here Ron, people are stampeding on the 5 north from just north of downtown, and I'm assuming it's the same south of the city, this can’t end well. As you know the highway is raised above the street level here and you can’t easily get off where there isn’t an offramp. I don’t know how this is going to end, there’s people chasing the crowds from both sides. And it looks like a number of elderly or otherwise, a number of people haven’t gotten away in time all along the way and have been attacked. On the city streets the police are forming cordons around places order is breaking down but this situation on the roads Ron…”
Just then the first runner went past David’s car. He realized his heart was pounding, and at this realization that the events on the radio were catching up to him, he suddenly felt faint. There was the sudden sound of numerous car doors as the people around him started to get out. Almost in a trance he found himself opening his car door to step out. Someone attempting to hurry between cars was stopped by the opening door and cursed angrily at him before squeezing past. He looked in the direction the crowds of people were coming from and could just see an ever increasing crowd coming along. In the air above, a news helicopter passed over, flying low. He grabbed his phone, shut the car door, locking it out of habit, and began jogging in the direction everyone was going.
As he made his way with the surreal procession of people weaving between cars on the freeway, David’s phone rang, it was his girlfriend Jessie.
“Jessie! Where are you??”
“Hey I’m alright, I got down to Travis’s here in Aliso Viejo. You should come down here too it sounds like all hell’s breaking loose in LA right now.” David was relieved to know his girlfriend was with his best friend down in southern Orange County, 30 miles or so south of the LA border.
“I’m going to meet up with my mom and sister, and then I don’t know what we’ll do. It’s crazy though Jess, I’m currently walking down the freeway!”
“Oh my god you’re what?? You’re on the freeway?? It’s on the news! The freeways! You need to—“ the line cut out. He tried calling her back but the network was busy again. He began to feel even more uneasy about no longer having the car radio piping breaking news to him.
It would only be a few more miles to his mom’s house. Funny how what takes only a few minutes to drive can suddenly feel so great a distance when you’re on foot. Earlier there had been a few motorcycles weaving between cars but they had all either gotten ahead by now, or perhaps gotten on offramps in search of less congestion on surface streets, or simply become mired in the crowds.
The crowd here was channeled along the freeway by high walls on either side. Slowly the crowds got thicker as more people moving faster from further back caught up. David and others found themselves inadvertently picking up the pace as they were surrounded by more and more people in a greater hurry. He heard an older woman cry out as someone rudely shoved past her, but the shover didn’t take notice. He passed a woman pulling two small children along by the hand – the children both looked terrified, and were constantly jostled by people hurrying past. A few people were bleeding, and David found himself wondering whether it was from scratches they got in their mad hurry, or actual contact with the berserkers. Every now and then a news helicopter would rumble overhead, and, most alarming of all, gunshots rang out in the distance frequently.
Quite suddenly people began colliding with those in front of them, forward progress apparently stopped somewhere down the line. Thousands of voices expressed alarm and confusion. People continued to try to jostle their way forward through the crowd. Amid a great amount of shoving, people actually started moving backward, though many stubbornly tried to keep their places. Then the rumours flying around congealed into one statement: “they’re in front of us! Go back! Go back! They’re in front of us!” There was panic and screams. More people were still coming up from behind, and the crowd became more compacted. David climbed on the hood of a car simply for lack of space, but also to see ahead. The crowd was being pushed back for the next several hundred feet ahead, with more and more people clambering on top of cars to get away. Forward of that it looked like a moshpit from a rock concert -- the crowd was a thrashing turbulence. Periodically people got through the turbulence and would dash off forward to the offramp that lay a short distance beyond, or continue down the freeway. Beyond the distrubance thre freeway was still packed with abandoned cars and a desperate crowd beyond the disturbance ever more desperately fleeing. David could tell many people were getting hurt by eachother in their desperation to get away.
Looking back in the other direction, it was just more compacted crowds for about a mile, but beyond that the freeway was ominously empty. Movement brought his attention back forward, and he saw that the compressed crowd had suddenly burst forward past the turbulence. All down the line people started moving forward again, but David stayed on top of the car. From where the turbulence had been he still saw people suddenly falling down, or jumping out of the way of something David couldn’t make out. The momentum of the crowd faltered and David could see once again a break in the crowd there with the forward edge of the crowd once again trying to retreat from that point. He saw several people a the front of the crowd get pulled down screaming but he couldn't see what was there. A few intrepid people dashed over the tops of cars in the area. Finally the crowd pulled back and David could see that the way between the cars had become blocked by piles of bodies. To his horror he saw a person, covered from head to toe in blood, lurch up from the pile and lunge madly at the crowd. Once again the crowd lurched backwards.
Looking back the other direction it looked like the back end of the crowd was getting closer as well.
Just a short distance ahead of David someone kicked in a maintenance door in the wall. Like the drain pulled in a bathtub, the surrounding crowd all began rushing for the narrow exit. People fell to the ground in the rush and were could be heard shrieking as people continued to hurry over them. David hoped desperately they were not being trampled to death. Several desperate scrabbles broke out in the narrow doorway, with punches thrown. Several other doors had been found in the wall at various points and David could see identical situations happening at all of them. Looking at the front line of the crowd David could see it was coming back faster now, with what appeared to be more berserk blood covered people wildly attacking the crowd. Evidence of how far forward the crowd had been was plainly visible, as the roadway for several dozens of yards further on was riddled with bodies and splashed with crimson blood.
Making it through the nearest door looked like it would require a lot of fierce jostling with the crowd, but it surely wouldn’t get easier before the murderous berserkers got this far. Just as David was about to try to wade through the crowd he spotted the woman with the two children nearby. She was clutching them to herself looking terrified, and they were both bawling.
“You need to get out that door!” he shouted at her above the din of panicked voices. She stared at him helplessly. “Here let me help you!” he shouted, and reached to pick up the larger child. The child looked at her and she nodded, so he permitted himself to be picked up.
David was able to make it about a car length, with the woman and other child right behind him, before he found the crowd absolutely impassable. He placed the child on the hood of the car and then climbed up himself. The woman passed up the other child and then followed herself. They were able to do this to get ahead a few more car lengths but then there were already people clambering over the cars and to attempt to go over them meant risking getting shoved off. This close to the doorway the crowd was moving fast though, so David turned his back to the crowd and tried to push backwards through the mob, holding the one child and with the woman and other following closely behind. He almost tripped, and, looking down, saw someone’s arm and a lot of blood on the ground. A finger moved and David looked away, feeling sick. Forward progress was difficult on account of the ferocity with which terrified people were pushing back from the violent end of the crowd. Blood curdling screams sounded terrifyingly close in that direction.
With renewed vigor David threw his back into the crowd. Someone elbowed him roughtly in the head, he felt someone else hook their arm behind his neck to lever themselves forward of him. All around him people were desperately scrabbling. Suddenly he felt the people on the doorward side of him disappear and himself roughly shoved in that direction. He didn’t bounce off of another person this time but felt himself fall down onto a sloped embankment, slippery with churned up ice-plant. He rolled down the embankment a dozen feet, doing his best to protect the child. Finally he came to a rest in a pile of squirming people. People were scrambling, scratching and kicking. He tried to get up but another person landed on him knocking him further into the pile. He was able to push the child to the edge of the mass of people, and after a little more struggling in the crowd managed to get to his feet on the edge and stumble free. He was covered with scratch marks and throbbed in several places from kicks and elbows.
Looking back at the mass he was greatly relieved to see no bloody zombie-like monsters, it was simply people getting pushed out the door, sliding down the slippery embankment, and then panicking when they found themselves all in a pile on the bottom. As people got pushed to the edge they picked themselves up and either ran away or looked for friends and loved ones they might be with.
David found he had lost track of the woman with the other child before he went through the door, and didn’t see her in his immediate scanning of the situation, but he had done his part to get them off the freeway and now he had to look after himself. Turning around, he found they were next to a suburban street. The owner of the nearest house was busily nailing planks over his windows. Not sure exactly where he was, David ran in the direction most other people seemed to be running.
Running down the suburban street, David tried calling his mom again but the network was still busy. In front of a number of houses people were hurriedly throwing possessions in cars. There weren’t many cars on the road here but every now and then one would come squealing around a corner. David came to an intersection with a geyser of water shooting up in one corner where a fire hydrant had been bowled over by a car. He went left to try to continue in the direction he had been going on the freeway. A short distance down this road, however, he saw people running back towards him, and he realized the offramp that had been ahead on the freeway was probably down this way, spilling the freeway’s chaos into the neighborhoods. He backtracked and ran to the intersection and took the road that lead further into the city. A steady stream of people were still coming from the direction of the freeway.
A national guard humvee rumbled towards and past him, with a uniformed soldier riding in the roof hatch with the large roof mounted 50 caliber machine gun in front of him. Feeling a little safer because of this, and with a painful side-ache from running, David slowed down again to a brisk walk and tried to picture in his mind how to get home from here.
His sense of safety and distraction were soon shattered by the staccato of the heavy machine gun. First there were several short bursts and then it fired continuously, accompanied by the smaller sound of what must be the other soldier’s M-16s. David began running again. The gunfire faded away into, what David realized suddenly was a general background din of sirens, people screaming or yelling near and far, dogs barking, and frequent isolated bangs. Every now and then more heavy machine gun fire could be heard at various places. It sounded like it was particularly heavy near where the offramp had been.
I think they’ve contained it on the freeway. God I hope they have David found himself thinking. The crowds of refugees had increasingly thinned out the further he got from the freeway, with some coming and going in opposite directions at intersections. He passed a body face-down on the lawn and just hurried quickly past it.
He heard a shout of profanities up ahead and saw a man in a business suit backing away from a figure that was lurching towards them. David looked backwards but it was a long ways to the last intersection, he didn’t want to lose that much ground and time with things having every appearance of getting worse by the minute.
There was only one of the zombie-like figures, it wasn’t moving very fast, and the street was broad, David decided to take his chances trying to dodge around the figure. As he got closer, he could see that it was a middle aged woman. She appeared to have some severe bite marks on the upper arm, but otherwise looked physically normal. She had a vicious unthinking feral look on her face though, and moved in an awkward lurching fashion. The man was still backing away from her, uselessly shouting “No! Go away! Shoo!” at her.
David came up on them, staying on the opposite side of the street. The woman noticed him and seemed unable to make up her mind to stumble towards him or the man. While she was thus distracted the man edged around until they were on opposite sides of her, and then they both ran past her and down the street. The man became winded and had to stop running long before David, and soon David was on his own again.
Despite the horrors he had already seen, David was stopped in his tracks when he came upon a house that had several bodies in a bloody mess on the front lawn. Their positioning seemed indicate they’d been trying to walk towards the front door, and moving his eyes towards the door itself, David saw that a table at been upended in front of it to create a barrier, and behind it, just in front of the doorway, sat a man with a grey mustache, trucker cap, Vietnam era camoflauge jacket, and brandishing a shotgun, with another slung on his back. As soon as David hesitated the man aimed the gun at him and called out “you god damn better keep walking!”
David didn’t need a second invitation, he was on his way! He turned onto a familiar street at the next intersection, home was only a few blocks away! He stepped out of the way of a man carrying a rake – the pronged end of it was alarmingly bloody. It was no longer safe to walk in the middle of the road, as what cars there were usually came screeching down the street at a reckless speed. Everyone going anywhere seemed to be in an urgent hurry.
Up ahead three figures were pounding on the front door and boarded up front windows of a house. From their ungainly movements David could tell they were “infected.” David also noticed that the front windows were smashed in on several of the houses that hadn’t boarded them up. Some of the shards of broken glass had blood on them.
David tried to quietly hurry past the three on the other side of the road, his heart pounding, but to his horror first one, turned and looked at him, and then the oter turned and all three started quickly shambling towards him with drooling slack mouths and vacant eyes. He turned to go the other way but saw two more climb out of a broken window in that direction, heedless of the broken glass, and start to head towards him. He frantically looked from one group to the other. The figures were able to move surprisingly fast considering their ungainly gait, and it would be hard to get past either group without being potentially intercepted. He could dart between the houses, jump some fences, and come out on the other side, but there were too many unknowns with that plan – he might end up cornered in a backyard, or even be set upon by an unfriendly dog that had been worked up to a frenzy by all the chaos. He prepared to try to run past the two that had come out of the window.
He ran towards them on the same side of the street as they, so that at the last minute he could veer around them in the street. As he prepared to run to the other side and pass them, a body he hadn’t noticed lying facedown on an overgrown lawn on that side picked itself up with the unmistakable movements of a the infected. David took a quick look behind him and confirmed that those three were closing in on him from that side. This was about to be very close.
Just as David was beginning his run to get between the two window zombies and the new lawn zombie, he heard the screech of tires right behind him and three loud thumps. He couldn’t help but glance back again – a police car had come skidding to a halt right on top of the three zombies, which it must have bowled over.
“GET DOWN!” the driver shouted. David hit the asphalt as the officer aimed an M-16 out the patrol-car’s window and unleashed a quick burst at each of the two zombies. The shots were aimed at their heads, and David noted that though they were each hit several times in the head – each hit marked by a sickening sort of crunch and cloud of red—they didn’t seem terribly deterred. They were alarmingly close and continued approaching. One of them, who looked to be a young man wearing a “hurley” shirt and backwards baseball cap, appeared to be having trouble seeing straight, David tried not to look at his one eye that was dangling out of his head. Two more bursts of gunfire just about destroyed both their heads, and they both slumped to the ground in pools of blood.
The officer tossed his gun back on his passenger seat and hit the gas, hitting the lawn zombie and sending him flying. He landed in a broken and crumpled state, but was still moving so the officer moved his car relatively close and took several single shots at point blank range at its head until it stopped moving. “get somewhere safe and stay there!” shouted the officer to David, before speeding off.
I've often found it disappointing that nearly all zombie movies seem to skip past the beginning, fast forwarding to a point where everyone is already desensitized to the whole situation. I've been wanting to write a story that takes us through the very beginning of it, as the rigorous iron of social norms (such as office ettiquette) slowly gives way to the complete breakdown of society. For example I think the tremendous taboo against murder would prevent even adequately armed people from actually shooting a zombie until they were absolutely forced to, as social taboos are eroded. If I continue the story I was thinking I'd mirror the rescue of the child with David less prone to look out for others later on, as well as a key moment when he first has to kill a zombie himself.
Also, in pondering how it would actually unfold, I was really struck by how the freeways would act like a wick or fuse, first becoming completely clogged and then becoming the panicked stampede, with some "infected" people with minor bites or scratches carrying it ahead like sparks before turning themselves.
Part of my continuing coverage of the Coming Zombie Apocalypse, this story is preceded by Patient Zero and followed by 28 Hours Later
First you hear a buzzing. The buzzing of bees among the tall straight gum trees. Then some startled roos burst from the underbrush, dart across a meadow like a panicked school of fish, and funnel across a small wooden bridge over a small creek. Presently, Kris emerges from the forest, with a very large cat on his shoulder.
But pretend its the forest behind me
Oh hi. I've been sadly sadly neglecting livejournal as late. Fortunately LJ Idol usually motivates me to actually post. It'll be hard though, I'm busier than ever ::carefully removes a bee that has landed on the cat::
I'm in Victoria now, the very most southern part of mainland Australia (further south than South Australia!), though I think I was already here as of last season? It's always so cold here. So cold. ::shivers::
I'm not Australian though; I can still be heard loudly declaiming that eggs don't belong on hamburgers and sausages should be put in buns, not flaccid slices of bread. Do I want a beer in any size smaller than a pint? No, that is un-American!!
When not writing for LJ Idol my livejournal is mostly travelogues. I never got around to writing about Kyrgyzstan last April so I might try to shoehorn that into the first few entries if the topic remotely suits. If you're curious about any of the places I've been, see the index at the top of my livejournal.
Alright, back to work. ::returns into the forest, narrowly avoiding being killed by a dropbear. Shortly all you hear is the chirping of birds and especially the buzzing of bees.
And I don't often appear in video, but when I do... well here's a video I recently made with a friend for a lesson I had to give on bee disease identification which I'm posting just so you can visualize the forest I intended to portray in this entry; the forest in which I work.
2006 - The diplomatic security agent leads me through the diplomatic security offices --which look a lot like any other offices: cubicles, copy machines, water coolers-- until we come to a very small square room. She tells me to take a seat and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. While I wait I look around the room: Chair and table both bolted to the floor; large floodlight on the ceiling pointed at me (fortunately not on); security camera unobtrusively placed in one corner facing me; and what I thought was a mirror on the wall in front of me I realize is actually almost certainly a one-way window. "This is the room where they beat people with hoses!!" my inner monologue exclaims to itself.
Five minutes later I'll find myself explaining some of my opinions on America's airline security to Diplomatic Security, but let's back up first a bit.
2005 - I'm standing in the the security checkpoint line at Sacramento international airport, a college student on my way to San Diego to chair the International Law Commission (ILC) at a Model United Nations conference. Back then the airports hadn't yet learned how to properly digest the backlog at security checkpoints caused by heightened 9/11 security, so the lines tended to be painfully long. As I slowly work my way through the line I pass the time thinking about such things as "transnational liability for accidental pollution," "legality of reservations to treaties," or, one of my favorite ILC topics, "the legal status of unlawful combatants."
Finally I arrive at the x-ray conveyer. I place my bag, my laptop, my briefcase, my belt, and other requisite objects on the conveyer. I'm wearing my suit because I'll need it that weekend, and can't be bothered to haul around a garment bag. Lest I give the erroneous impression that I look thoroughly straight-laced, I should mention I also had a rather tall green mohawk at the time and had just placed the paratrooper combat boots I always wear (even with a suit on a most occasions) on the conveyer belt.
Despite my careful removal of all metal objects I'm surprised not to set anything off as I walk through the metal detector -- but my luck ends there. I look up to see a large African-American TSA agent blocking my path in a surly manner. "You've been randomly selected. Sitinthatchair."
I move towards a nearby chair "NOT that chair!" he barks. "Stickyourlegout" he says in a mumble I can barely understand, followed by "NO notlikethat!"
He inspects my bag and just as I think this unpleasant hassle must have run its course he triumphantly pulls out my gavel and holds it up!
"Whatisthis??"
"That's a gavel sir"
"It's a hammer-like object, you're going to have to leave it with us."
"Uh, no. That has my name engraved on it and I'm going to need it this weekend." I'm becoming quite alarmed. Seeing as I'm not going to take this one lightly he calls his supervisor over. Eventually we reach a compromise -- they'll unscrew the shaft of the gavel and I can keep the head of it. That way I can keep the engraved section and if I can find a new shaft it's whole again, while for their comfort it is no longer a "hammer-like" object. It seems to me that the gavel would probably be a more effective weapon without the shaft anyway, considering the shaft would must assuredly break if it was ever used to do more than make a stern hammering sound on a table (though maybe with it I could take over the plane through cunning use of robert's rules of order?).
The TSA agent who had been hassling me finally moves his attention to the next passenger, politely greeting an African-American gentleman in a friendly manner. I had previously chalked up his malignant demeanor towards me as him being in a bad mood or perhaps just being an unpleasant person in general, but when I saw his behaviour change 180 degrees when he was addressing someone of his own race I was shocked all over again -- I'm quite convinced I was just the victim of racism.
I proceed to my gate still fuming over the desecration of my gavel. A symbol of justice and they had destroyed it in their insane quest to enforce largely arbitrary rules on people. In my mind I inventoried all the other weaponable objects that people are allowed to bring on planes every day -- belts with belt-buckles is a big one, sharpened pencils, anyone could smuggle on some fishing line and proceed to garrotte people with it... really banned items such as nail files, cigarette lighters and, apparently, gavels, are not even as weaponizable as things large percentages of passengers do or could bring on board every day.
Continuing with the fourth and final installment of an index of last year's LJI entries...
Week 19: Open Topic 2010-03-23
Entry: A Rather Buoyant Scheme
Posted From: New York City, New York
Type: Essay, Steampunk, lots of hand drawn diagrams
Poll Outcome: Contestant-only write in / Gatekeeper vote: PASS
Notes: An idea that had initially come to me while 100 feet below the surface of the Red Sea several months earlier.
Week 20: "Playing House" 2010-03-30
Entry: Let's Play House
Posted From: The ROGUE BREWERY itself, in Newport, OR
Type: Fiction, fan-fic, film noir
Poll Outcome: 39 (9.0%), 46th overall
Notes: On crew dynamics in my new home, the 65' ketch Hawaiian Chieftain.
Week 21: "Hyperbole is Literally Hitler" 2010-04-06
Entry: Disappearing Bees
Posted From: Garibaldi, WA
Type: Several Mini Narratives
Poll Outcome: 46 (12.4%), 16th overall
Notes: "Hyperbole is Literally Hitler?!?!?!?!" Is a topic???? We were sure His Highness the Administrator must have certainly completely and utterly lost his marbles this time. Eventually after much talking among ourselves of "what the devil is Gary on about this time???" we decided the topic was "hyperbole" and he had just been a bit hyperbolic in wording it. So I wrote about hyperbole in media reporting on bee problems.
Week 22: "No Sight of Land" 2010-04-14
Entry: Third Watch
Posted From: Port Angeles, WA
Type: Narrative, nonfiction, recent personal story
Poll Outcome: Contestant only write in vote: PASS
Notes: A look at my shift as watch officer as we sailed up around the tip of the Olympic Peninsula earlier that morning.
Week 23: "Underdog" 2010-04-21
Entry: Pakicetus
Posted From: Sequim, WA
Type: Narrative, historical fiction
Poll Outcome: 45 (14.4%)*, 11th overall
Notes: Once upon a time in 53,000,000 BC...
Week 24: "Rolling Stop" 2010-04-29
Entry: The Fall
Posted From: Friday Harbor, San Juan Island, WA
Type: Narrative, nonfiction, personal story
Poll Outcome: 31 (12.4%), 30th otherall, ELIMINATED
Notes: An entry begun at nearly 2am in the aft cabin of the boat surrounded by empty beer bottles and whiskey glasses, written largely from memory about obscure historical facts, finished around 3 with revielle only four hours away... so I think I at least went out with style. (: Anyway, about the fall of the Byzantine Empire and then the subject kind of wanders around exploring the fall of the Roman Empire in other areas.
Week 24 Bonus Material: Getting Laid on the Boat -- The voice post I almost submitted for my entry instead. JUST DECLASSIFIED!
Notes: That abrupt end is me saying "ah this is crap" and hanging up (:
Official Fairwell Post: So Long and Thanks for All the Catfish
Eliminated in the 24th round, putting me at 31st place overall. Averaged at 16.6th place in all public polls. Outlasted 86% of the 226 or so original contenders.
Totally Unrelated Picture of the Day
I have very often found it useful to refer to the index I made of my therealljidol posts last year, and have always intended to make one for this most recent season, but certainly didn't have the time.
Now doing so is still liable to take a dash of time, so I think I'm going to aim to do it in four installments of six or so (I was eliminated at 31st place in round 24). When I make the future installments I believe I'll add them to this first post though so it's all in one place. So here's the first six:
Last Year's Index: Season V
Season VI:
Week 0: "Introduction" 2009-10-07
Entry: Introduction
Prior Year's Introduction: And a Particularly Dashing Picture of Myself
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: 76 votes (25.9%), 1st in bracket, 2nd overall
Week 1: "Empty Gestures" 2009-10-18
Entry: Turkesh Carpet Salesmen
Posted From: Istanbul, Turkey
Type: Narrative, Non-fiction, Recent
Poll Outcome: 85 (24.9%) 7th in bracket, 21st overall
Notes: On events of just the other day.
Week 2: "Uphill Both Ways" 2009-10-30
Entry: Climbing Mount Sinai
Posted From: Sharm al-Sheikh, Sinai Desert
Type: Narrative, Non-fiction, Recent
Poll Outcome: 65 (26.4%)5th in bracket, 18th overall
Notes: Entirely written during a 15 minute or so stint in a little internet hut in the Sinai, regarding the previous day's adventures.
Week 3: "Smile" 2009-11-04
Entry: Smile
Posted From: Cairo, Egypt
Type: Narrative, Non-fiction, Recent
Poll Outcome: 61 (33.5%), 6th in bracket, 21st overall
Notes: In Egypt, everyone is trying to scam you, learn to love it.
Week 4: "Moments of Devastating Beauty" 2009-11-12
Entry: 28 Years Later
Posted From: Philadelphia, PA
Type: Narrative, Fiction
Poll Outcome: 60 (15.7%), 5th in bracket, 23rd overall
Notes: Maybe we'd be better off after the zombie apocalypse..
Week 5: "Bearing False Witness" 2009-11-21
Entry: Old Timey Religion Part I
Sequel: Old Timey Religion Part II
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Narrative, Fiction
Poll Outcome: 47 (16.4%), 10th in bracket, 25th ovverall
Notes: An entry that, as expected, rather offended a number of persons. I've considered the counterarguments the entry inspired and really they didn't change my perspective on the issue at all, except in that I wish I'd written Part II in time to be part of the official submission because I think it really helps drive the point home.
Week 6: "Sunrise" 2009-12-04
Entry: Waking Up On A Boat
Posted From: Astoria, OR
Type: Narrative, Nonfiction, Recent
Poll Outcome: 46 (30.3%), 1st in bracket, 10th overall
Notes: On life in December on the brig Lady Washington
Week 7: "One Touch" 2009-12-11
Entry: On Hold
Posted From: Astoria, OR
Type: Essay, on recent circumstances
Poll Outcome: 50 (25.6%), 5th in bracket, 9th overall
Notes: Update on life on the boat.
Week 8: "Reprobate" 2009-12-19
Entry: Zombieproof
Posted From: Aberdeen, WA
Type: Narrative, Fiction
Poll Outcome: 60 (27.1%), 1st in bracket, 4th overall.
Notes: We having nothing to fear but fear itself...
Annual Christmas Party 2009-12-26
Entry: Green Red Room Holiday Party!
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Week 9: "Better Half" 2010-01-08
Entry: We're Supposed to Choose the Hipster?
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Essay, humorous
Poll Outcome: 46 (23.2%), 4th in bracket, 5th overall
Notes: on the Mac vs PC commercials.
Week 10: "Open Topic" 2010-01-16
Entry: To Boldly Go...
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Narrative, Science Fiction
Poll Outcome: Gatekeeper Round: passed
Notes: Being a "gatekeeper round," there was no poll.. so it probably didn't get read by as many people, which is a shame because it was another entry I was rather proud of.
META BBQ! 2010-01-23
Entry: The Return of Saturday Meta-BBQs! (or "10 Reasons I Should Be America's Next Top LJ Idol Gatekeeper")
Posted From: Mission Viejo
Type: Essay, Meta-BBQ
Notes: Ten thoughts on writing for LJI
Week 11: "Run, Don't Walk"
Entry: Passed on making a submission this week
Week 12: "Apathy" 2010-01-29
Entry: Making Fire
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: 43 (8.2%), no brackets, 14th overall
Notes: Girls, girls...
Week 13: "Who's that Trip Trapping Over My LJ?" 2010-02-08
Entry: The Quest for a Drink
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Comic!
Poll Outcome: 50 (10.5%), 13th overall
Notes: Intersection with Zia-Narratora!
Meta: LJ Decathalon! 2010-02-13
Entry: Declaration of the LJI Decathalon!!!
Posted From: Mission Viejo
Notes: The totally unofficial not-official-at-all LJI Decathalon!!
Week 14: "Precognition" 2010-02-15
Entry: Jack Batelin, Private Eye
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Fiction, fan-fic, film noir
Poll Outcome: Contestant only write in vote -- PASS
Notes: Intersection with Jack Batelin!
Week 16: "Breaking the Fast" 2010-03-03
Entry: Breaking, Fast
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Narrative, fiction, other
Poll Outcome: 59 (14.9%), 4th overall
Notes: Written in the style of a text based adventure game
Week 17: "The Caged Bird" 2010-03-08
Entry: Jar O Bees!
Posted From: Mission Viejo, CA
Type: Narrative, nonfiction, recent personal story
Poll Outcome: 56 (15.0%), 5th overall
Notes: If you want bees in a jar, I am your man.
Week 18: "Adored" 2010-03-17
Entry: Flouting Adoration
Posted From: Las Vegas, NV
Type: Narrative, nonfiction, personal story
Poll Outcome: 41 (10.8%), 38th otherall
Notes: On my experiences in student government. One of my very worst poll showings, proof that people really don't give a crap about student government (:
Week 19: Open Topic 2010-03-23
Entry: A Rather Buoyant Scheme
Posted From: New York City, New York
Type: Essay, Steampunk
Poll Outcome: Contestant-only write in / Gatekeeper vote: PASS
Notes: An idea that had initially come to me while 100 feet below the surface of the Red Sea several months earlier.
Week 20: "Playing House" 2010-03-30
Entry: Let's Play House
Posted From: The ROGUE BREWERY itself, in Newport, OR
Type: Fiction, fan-fic, film noir
Poll Outcome: 39 (9.0%), 46th overall
Notes: On crew dynamics in my new home, the 65' ketch Hawaiian Chieftain.
Week 21: "Hyperbole is Literally Hitler" 2010-04-06
Entry: Disappearing Bees
Posted From: Garibaldi, WA
Type: Several Mini Narratives
Poll Outcome: 46 (12.4%), 16th overall
Notes: "Hyperbole is Literally Hitler?!?!?!?!" Is a topic???? We were sure His Highness the Administrator must have certainly completely and utterly lost his marbles this time. Eventually after much talking among ourselves of "what the devil is Gary on about this time???" we decided the topic was "hyperbole" and he had just been a bit hyperbolic in wording it. So I wrote about hyperbole in media reporting on bee problems.
Week 22: "No Sight of Land" 2010-04-14
Entry: Third Watch
Posted From: Port Angeles, WA
Type: Narrative, nonfiction, recent personal story
Poll Outcome: Contestant only write in vote: PASS
Notes: A look at my shift as watch officer as we sailed up around the tip of the Olympic Peninsula earlier that morning.
Week 23: "Underdog" 2010-04-21
Entry: Pakicetus
Posted From: Sequim, WA
Type: Narrative, historical fiction
Poll Outcome: 45 (14.4%)*, 11th overall
Notes: Once upon a time in 53,000,000 BC...
Week 24: "Rolling Stop" 2010-04-29
Entry: The Fall
Posted From: Friday Harbor, San Juan Island, WA
Type: Ramble, historical
Poll Outcome: 31 (12.4%), 30th otherall, ELIMINATED
Notes: An entry begun at nearly 2am in the aft cabin of the boat surrounded by empty beer bottles and whiskey glasses, written largely from memory about obscure historical facts, finished around 3 with revielle only four hours away... so I think I at least went out with style. (: Anyway, about the fall of the Byzantine Empire and then the subject kind of wanders around exploring the fall of the Roman Empire in other areas.
Week 24 Bonus Material: The voice post I almost submitted for my entry instead.
Notes: That abrupt end is me saying "ah this is crap" and hanging up (:
Official Fairwell Post: So Long and Thanks for All the Catfish
Eliminated in the 24th round, putting me at 31st place overall. Averaged at 16.6th place in all public polls. Outlasted 86% of the 226 or so original contenders.
Well I've been eliminated from Season 6 of LJ Idol. I think the circumstances of my elimination are rather representative of my experience this season, namely, I wasn't there. I was informed of my elimination via texts from several of my friends who are in the game, much as I found out about most of the prompts, and it would be several days before I got a chance to get online and actually see the announcement for myself. For most of this season I've had barely any internet access.
This season I've made my LJ Idol submissions from Istanbul, the Sinai desert, Cairo, New York City, Orange County, Astoria WA, Aberdeen WA, Garibaldi WA, Port Angeles WA, Sequim WA, and Friday Harbour WA. Often it was the only half hour I was online the entire week.
The entry I got eliminated on, fittingly called "the Fall," I wrote under less than ideal circumstances late late one night.
My only regret is that I have had time to read hardly anyone's entries for most of this season. Well that and that I had managed to "pimp" myself to get through this last vote. ;D But on the bright side now I won't have to stay up till 0300 on a night I have revielle at 0700 to write an entry, or shiver on a curb outside a hotel lobby in the middle of the night like some kind of crack addict just so I could leech their precious precious intertrons.
And a Wise and Serious Confession
So I have something to confess regarding wiseosiris. That's right... wait for it..... A number of people have seemed to find great amusement dropping hints that I'm Wiseosiris, leaving me smug knowing comments about one so wise and serious as myself or such. Well... here's the secret. I am not Wiseosiris. I have written exactly one guest post early on for wiseo and that is all.
And because I wrote that guest post I got to spend precious minutes of my internet time in that little hut of an internet cafe in Sinai during the second week reading an email informing me that because I wrote that, I was banned from proceeding beyond the top ten this season. Well that didn't end up being relevant but it's a lesson I didn't know and I suppose potential contenders should know. And wasted several precious minutes of internet time.
But yeah, I have heretofore not denied being Wiseo because I do believe the livejournal should not be associated with anyone, but seriously, it is not me and it is silly when you smugly imply you know it is.
Anywhom I don't even have time to really compose a decent goodbye post here, which again, is kind of indicative of my whole internet situation here.
You probably won't be seeing me in the home game, I probably won't be commenting to your entries, I'll be lucky if I have time to comment to comments to my own entries, but best of luck to everyone, I'll always be there in spirit, hopefully I'll see you all in Season VII, and so long and thanks for all the (cat)fish.
Daniel placed the last cinderblock in the wall snugly and stepped back to survey what had been accomplished. All ground-level entrance had been solidly sealed with cinderblocks and mortar. "Let's see the zombies get through THAT!" he thought happily.
With just a little warning, secure protection against a zombie outbreak seemed shockingly easy. Bricks and mortar are not hard to come by, and zombies aren't exactly super-man. Combine this with a complete lack of problem-solving abilities and it's really no problem.
At the first news of the spreading zombie outbreak Daniel had taken his family and joined several others to hole up in the local Wal-Mart. With only a few entrances to begin with and just about everything you could dream of already stockpiled on the inside, it was the obvious choice. It had taken very little time to procure bricks and mortar to make the remaining entrances into solid walls themselves. Those inside would be able to get in and out should they find the need simply by accessing the roof and lowering ladders to get down. They would probably even find or make a rope ladder for easier raising/lowering of the entrance.
Daniel ascended to the roof to survey the situation in the surrounding area. Distant sirens could be heard wailing in several directions, but more immediately there was a constant blare of horns due to the jammed traffic on nearby roads. The occasional pedestrian would run by on foot in a mad panic.
Ladders would be lowered to fleeing refugees down below who weren't in so much of a panic that they didn't notice those waving from the roof of Wal-mart. As time went on and more people gave up on the snarled automobile traffic, foot traffic increased. Presently an argument arose among those on the roof about "how many people can we rescue? we can't save them all, we'll starve!" Tempers rose as those who couldn't dream of leaving people to fend for themselves below got in shouting matches with those who feared they'd be overrun with refugees.
"What if one of them is infected??" asked someone's wife with a gasp. There was a moment of silent contemplation and then the "save everyone" contingent silently relented and the ladders were drawn up for the last time.
The flood of refugees steadily increased to a veritable torrent. One by one those on the roof retreated back down into the store to avoid the pleading eyes of those they would not save. Daniel and the last few were about to go below when another man held up his hand "wait!" he said with an uncomfortable look on his face, "someone should stay up here"
"Why?" another man asked
"What if... they throw a ladder up on the side or something? Someone should, you know, be up here" he said, squirming a bit. It was clear who "they" was and it wasn't the zombies.
Daniel gratefully avoided ladder tipping duty and hastily retreated down below to check on his wife and kids.
Initially they had all dreaded the time when they'd hear the moaning of zombies surrounding their fortress, but something they weren't prepared for haunted them first. Cries of "Let us in!" and "please help us!" could be heard through the walls and drove the families as far from the walls as they could get. They all huddled in the shoe aisle near the centre of the store.
People took turns patrolling the walls making sure the newly erected walls were holding up. People were clearly banging on them on the far side. There had been no shortage of man-power and materials though so they'd been made several feet thick.
The sturdiness of the walls didn't stop the horrifying psychological impact though of the cries for help and fruitless banging on the walls. It sounded like there was quite the multitude out there now. Daniel tried not to even think about what it must be like having duty on the roof.
Suddenly there was an incredible crash and the wall in front of Daniel exploded into dust and shards of concrete. Daniel dove behind a shelf of cheap plastic trinkets to dodge the shrapnel. When he jumped to his feet in disbelief to see what could possibly have happened he beheld frantic mobs of terrified people streaming into the store from the gaping hole that had just been made by someone driving a truck through the wall.
The Colorado River had been a ghost of its former self. For generations during the height of human civilization just five percent of the water that once flowed through the Colorado Delta actually made it to the sea. Even this water was almost entirely agricultural waste. The delta itself, once a lush green marshland of extreme ecological value, was reduced to mostly dried mud flats.
One day, however, a stream of fresh clear water begins to flow again. The flow increases over the coming weeks until the thirsty delta is once again filled with clean water from half a continent away. Many species have been lost forever in the last century, but those that remain quickly bounce back to recreate the lush habitat that once was.
Some 300 miles to the northwest, the suburbs of Los Angeles are vibrant with life. Rabbits and deer chew on the grass growing between cracks on the freeways, and the abundant shrubs in former lawns. Former housecats stalk the former pet rabbits, to in turn be chased by dogs. Native bobcats, coyotes and cougars prowl the bounty as well.
Birds flutter in and out of holes in roofs, and in the evening bats stream out of the shattered windows of houses to be silhouetted against the monolithic hulks of skyscrapers. Possums trundle among the calcified human skeletons in the shrubbery, searching for tasty snails to snack on.
I recently read World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide, both by Max Brooks. They were a fun read, but I had a major complaint with one aspect of his vision of the coming zombie apocalypse (Don't worry I don't think this is a critical spoiler) -- with humans being overrun by zombies he describes complete environmental destruction. The environment is completely devastated somehow by the upheaval of human civilization in his books.
I think this is a fair bit daft since one of the greatest "extinction events" in history is the very existence of humans. There's even a word for it -- the holocene extinction event. It's estimated 140,000 species a year are currently becoming extinct, with possibly a loss of half of all species by 2100.
Even if you suppose the collapse of civilization entailed nuclear meltdowns, well, see this quote from wikipedia about the Zone of Exclusion around Chernobyl --
There have been reports that wildlife has flourished due to significant reduction of human impact.[3] For this reason, the zone is considered by some as a classic example of an involuntary park. Populations of traditional Polesian animals (like wolves, wild boar and Roe Deer), red deer, moose, and beaver have multiplied enormously and begun expanding outside the zone. The area also houses flocks of European wisent and Przewalski's Horses released there after the accident. Even extremely rare lynx have appeared, and there are reports of tracks from brown bear, an animal not seen in the area for several centuries.
Basically, most animals simply don't live long enough for the lingering effects of a nuclear event to significantly effect them. Or at least, a nuclear holocaust is not as bad for wildlife as the regular activities of people are.
I think I may need to write my own zombie apocalypse book, where the zombie apocalypse actually returns the world's environments to equilibrium.
Several houses on the end of a suburban cul-de-sac have had the fences between them removed and around them reinforced to create a modern hunter-gatherer village out of decaying upper-middle-class homes. Around 100 people live inside the complex. They hunt for food and cook it on a fire pit that once was a jacuzzi. They still have guns to hunt with and clothing that was made of durable synthetic fabrics during the high point of human civilization, but in time they'll run out of bullets, and their denim and gortex will wear out, and they will have to re-learn how to make their own tools and clothing. Already they have a younger generation among them that will never know facebook, wikipedia, and blogging.
The evening sun sparkles off the remaining windows of the skyscrapers of Los Angeles to the north. Sadly, the sunset actually isn't as beautiful as it once was when the air was full of colourful pollutants.
A villager looks up at the distant tower and regards it as a solemn reminder of the beauty of how advanced civilization once had been. He then returns to a life that has much more in common with the way humans lived for most of the 200,000 years they've been on this Earth.
Hurghada, Egypt, last night, 2:25am - "Dude, that's a 200!" Mark informed me impatiently
"Yes, that is a 200," also sounding impatient, the taxi driver weighed in on the subject. I, however, hate to take anyone's word for anything, much less how much money I'm pulling out of my wallet, so I continued to hold the bill in the dim light of the window looking for clues. Because I'm OCD like that I always arrange the bills in my wallet largest to smallest, and had pulled it from the back, so everything pointed to it in fact being a 200 but still, when pulling a bill worth 50 USD out of my wallet I'm going to need visual verification on that.
Being as the digits we use with the latin alphabet (123 etc) are "arabic numerals" I was surprised to learn that apparently modern arabic has new, utterly different, "arabic" numerals. So the money in Egypt is printed with "arabic numerals" on one side and "arabic" numerals on the other. Additionally the numbers are written small and in only two corners of each side, so I had to turn the bill over several times and really squint before I could see for myself that it did, in fact, have a 2 followed by two 0s on it. I handed it over to Mark who impatiently forwarded it to the taxi driver and it disappeared behind the front seat.
The original fare my local friend Michael had negotiated with the driver was 20 pounds. Because taxi drivers try to scam us every time practically without fail I make it a point to clarify the rate the moment I'm in the car. Unfortunately this time it was too late. Michael said 20, we got in the car, the door closed, I asked "20 right?" and as the car pulled away the driver said "no, 50!"
Mark tried arguing with the driver the entire drive back (which wasn't more than 10 minutes, definitely no more than a 20 pound fare in these parts) but only managed to get it down to 40. Still ridiculous but $10 isn't goign to kill me and I knew it wasn't worth getting my blood in a boil over something that wasn't going to change.
Egyptians for some reason HATE making change. It is their least favourite thing. They would rather you asked them to eat a pineapple whole than make change for a 100 or 200 pound bill. Incidentally ATMs only dispense 100 or 200 pound bills.
Mark had smaller bills but for some reason in order to make change with what the driver had he wanted a 200 from me. I wasn't really sure what kind of silly math he was up to, I was tired and anxious to get back to the hotel to pack my stuff in the 20 minutes we had before the bus left for Cairo, and not entirely sober because we'd spent one last evening at a club with our local friends.
"Dude you gave him a 20!" admonishes Mark disapprovingly, as a bill comes back over the seat. The first thing I notice is that even in the dim light I can tell its not the same colour bill I just handed over. The driver is insisting that I handed him a 20 and not a 200. Between the two of them telling me it was a 200 originally and pulling it out of the back of my wallet and seeing the 200 with my own eyes before handing it over I don't think I could possibly be more certain I'd handed him a 200. Egypt!
Funny thing, we can make correct change now that there's a 20 mysteriously floating about. Arguing that it was a 200 is utterly fruitless so I just count it as a loss and proceed to the hotel more or less totally pissed off.
Arriving at the hotel we are met by our companion Aaron coming out with several bags, including mine. "Fuck you guys, I had to pack your stuff for you" he says in as friendly a manner as one can say that.
Now, like with my wallet, I don't ever like to have to take anyone's word for that my stuff is packed, and like having my bills in a certain order, I like to have my stuff packed in a certain order (stuff I'm less likely to need on the bottom). Now recall also that I was already totally pissed off.
"What?! Why'd you do that???"
"You guys weren't here, the bus leaves in 20 minutes!"
"I could pack my stuff TWICE in twenty minutes!!"
Aaron's wife Amalie chimes in: "Well we have to check out fifteen minutes before we leave, and that is now"
"Well I could pack while you check out then!"
"No you couldn't" says she. If she were a dude I think I might have punched her. Instead I go do exactly what she said I couldn't possibly be able to do. I go to the room. Inside I look everywhere I've put anything and it all seems to not be left behind at least.
But between being cheated out of $50 for a $5 cab ride, having my stuff packed by someone else, and being given attitude about it, I'm veritably seething at this point.
Throughout the trip we'd heard about what a miserably filthy place Cairo is. As we drove towards it this morning you could tell where it was on the horizon by the black smog around it. However to get to this internet cafe (computer use: 3 egyptian pounds an hour -- that's 68 cents!!) I walked maybe a mile down a crowded street alone at night (well 10pm) and no one bothered me. Cars and taxis (all 80s era volkswagon vans painted white, and they drive with the sliding passenger door open) share the road with donkey carts and herds of sheep and goats (yes in the middle of Cairo!) (no pigs though, apparently they had them ALL killed due to misplaced swine-flu fears. Trash they normally ate is consequently building up on the streets), and pedestrians. (Michael commented on once traveling to Amsterdam and finding "there are so many rules! About when you can cross the street and where you can walk...")
Despite the shenanigans of this morning and dire warnings about this city from everyone we'd talked to earlier in the trip who'd been here, and especially despite that I ordinarily HATE big cities, I found myself walking down the crowded street an hour ago (composing this entry in my head while doing so ;) ) and smiling.
Sometimes I think the best part about a vacation is when the plan goes completely out the window and things go haywire. When I drove around three states in New England by myself during Epic Roadtrip 2007, when the itinerary was already totally out the window by day 3 of Epic Roadtrip 2008, unplanned marooning in Portland last October, when Kerri an I accidentally became separated in Zaragoza, Spain, last May ... these were all some of my favourite times of the trips.
Some people hate to travel because they're stressed out about what they'll do if their plans go awry. Some people travel but then are miserably upset when plans DO go awry. Some people stress about staying on itinerary and make their companions miserable in so doing. I think the secret to enjoying your vacation is remembering that you're on vacation. Don't stress. Remember that the very reason you travel is to experience things. (:
Cairo, Egypt, the next day, 23:45 - I wash my hands and the bathroom attendant hands me a paper towel. I mumble "shukren" (sp? Arabic for thank-you) and turn to exit the airport bathroom, but the attendant blocks my path in a "none shall pass!" manner and puts out his hand for a tip.
I place a 1 pound bill in his hand and start to step forward but he doesn't budge, making another "give me money" gesture and holding up two fingers. This is a bit saucy since I know one pound is an entirely acceptable tip for handing me paper towels. I open my wallet and show him I don't HAVE any more one pound bills -- the smallest I have is a ten. He points at it eagerly. HAH. "Can you give me nine back in change?" I ask him. I don't even know why I was humouring him this much, I guess I was in a good mood, and anyway I didn't expect him to be able to (recall, they loathe making change). He nods enthusiastically so I skeptically hand him the ten. He hands me back 5 shiny one pound coins. "Hah are you serious?!" I exclaim, followed by "whatever dude" and I go on my way shaking my head, and smiling. It's only about $1.10 anyway.
As counterintuitive as it may seem, because of it I had a smile all the way back to my gate. It was just.. so Egypt. Such a fitting end for my stay.
Picture that Should Have Been Posted Last Week of the Day
Sunrise over Mt Sinai. I finally managed to upload some pictures at an internet cafe so I put up the ones pertaining to the trek up Mt Sinai I described last week.
"My friend!! Where are you from?" the swarthy man in a suit standing outside the Hagia Sophia greeted us with an expansive gesture and even more expansive grin.
I automatically looked at the ground and kept walking, as did my friends Aaron and Amalie, but next thing I know Mark is talking to him.
We stand around awkwardly for a moment waiting for Mark to extricate himself but he only sinks deeper in trying to explain to the man why he doesn't want to partake of his "Turkish hospitality!" and go with him to his rug store where there'll be "no pressure!" and ":D"
I wander across the square and take some photos of the nearby Blue Mosque. I come back and the man has switched to acting deeply offended by Mark's refusal of his "hospitality," while Mark desperately tries to dig himself out of a hole he doesn't seem to realize will inevitably get deeper.
Conveniently my shoe needs to be tied to I attend to that in front of them, which brings attention to my combat boots, something I was hoping would maybe intimidate the smarmy businessman a little at least.
"Oh you are a soldier! Where from!" the man's reaction is immediate and pronounced.
"Oh no, he just wears those because they're utilitarian" quickly explains Mark.
::FACEPALM!::
Finally we somehow manage to extract Mark from the conversation and make our escape. Even then he comments on feeling guilty over disappointing the friendly man. Silly, silly, lad.
One must constantly avoid eye contact with shopkeepers here, and avoid responding to anyone that comes up to you peddling wares, lest they will mercilessly attempt to inveigle their trinkets upon you. (If asked anything in English and for some reason not in a position to ignore them completely, my trick is to respond with "jag prata inte engelska!")
But this got me thinking, why is it that the streets here and many other places are so rife with scammers and pickpockets trying to empty your pockets with their devious gestures, but the United States seems completely devoid of this villiany? Don't get me wrong I've encountered every trıck nı the book at SOME poınt ın the US, but not at the rıfe and ın your face levels ıt ıs here. EVEN ın downtown Hollywood or Vegas.
All I could come up with is that perhaps it's the much maligned gun culture -- keep that kind of shenanigans up anywhere in the United States, even if you try to only target tourists, and eventually you'll annoy someone who will blow you away. Or at least punch you in the face.
Related Picture of the Day
It's that time of the week! LJ Idol polls are up, and that means its also time for my weekly drama-que (polls will be closed already by our usual time of Sat morning). So throw some OMG-weiners and WTF-burgers on the grill, crack open a nice cold can of STFU and pull up a chair!
[Poll #1359752]
See also my homegame entry: Dream Home
( Recommendations )
The LJ Idol polls are up early this week, and I am.. not in them anymore. However, now that I am no longer in the game, I am free to tell you who I recommend reading and voting for, without having to fear that idolists will retaliate for my noninclusion of them by not voting for me when they otherwise would have.
Like last week, idolists were givin two topics to choose from, and then in the vote were only competing directly with those who chose the same topic as them. I'm going to address the first topic this morning, and a similar post should follow tomorrow regarding the second topic.
Here is the first bracket (Achille's Heel):
[Poll #1356258]
If you're anxious to get on to the other poll / bored out of your mind and searching for more reading material, it can be found here.
I recommend the following as worth the read if you have the time:
1. alexpgp's entry: "On Specialization.." - An excellent piece of human specialization. The only one in this bracket I have absolutely no constructive (or unconstructive!) criticism to offer.
2. monkeysugarmama's entry: Drinking Away the Seven Deadly Sins - even if a bit long, I think its delightful if you have the time.
3. brightflashes' entry: September 11th 1973 - Historical fiction, its good for you.
( More Analysis of this Bracket )
It seemed like a good idea at the time. To most Americans anyway. It was March, 2003, and 64% of Americans supported the idea of invading the state of Iraq. The case made to justify the invasion to the community of nations assembled at the UN was almost entirely Iraqi failed compliance with UN weapons inspections, but as far as the American public was concerned, Iraq "probably" had something to do with September 11th 2001. Anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It, of course, had nothing to do with September 11th, and everything.
( Read more... )
After this last round of voting in LJ Idol, I was found 3 votes short of not being eliminated, and have thus found myself officially 20th out of 194, while the remaining 19 continue to duke it out.
My goal this year was only to make Top 50, so I feel pretty good about my accomplishment. Without harping on it too much, I've come to feel that a lot of what it takes to get beyond this point is shameless scrambling for votes and I don't have any interest in playing that particular game. But I have enjoyed the LJ Idol experience and plan on doing it again next year. I thought about setting myself a new goal for next year, but decided its best just not to worry about that.
See also, my idolist oriented goodbye post, and the official elimination post, wherein The Administrater says a few words, and then people proceed to mourn everyone but me.
Anyway, I thought I'd go back and revisit all my entries from this season:
Firstly of all, I thought it was interesting how many non-idol related entries were interspersed here the first few weeks, and those seem to drop off as Idol just takes over. d= oops. But also, as I note in my other entry, there are entries that are essentially essays, and there are entries that are narratives or personal stories. The overwhelming majority of idol writers seem to write personal stories. I almost never do that but its interesting to note that my first few entries are essays but I then switch to largely narratives to fit in with everyone else (also, writing a good essay is harder, but one can always come up with SOME kind of narrative). Anyway:
Week 0: "Introduction"
Entry: Our Protagonist
Notes: And a particularly dashing picture of myself.
Week 1: "Saying Goodbye"
Entry: Saying Goodbye ... When Your Family is Turned into Zombies!!
Type: Humorous Essay
Poll Outcome: 62 votes (7.9% of voters) *
Bonus Entry: Brainstorm Post
Notes: Still I think my favourite of my entries for this competition. Additionally, one can see in my brainstorm post a number of more traditional idol takes on the topic which I don't use.
Week 2: "I Don’t Care About Apathy: What I "Should" Care About – But Don’t"
Entry: (You) Should Care About, but Don't: People in Other Countries
Type: Essay, Moral/Philosophical
Poll Outcome: 60 votes (9.0%) *
Bonus Entry: Its/It's
Outtake Entry: Free Trade.. in Sports
Notes: My plan to not be controversial goes out the window with only the second topic. Lol.
See Also: Week 2 Rec List
Week 3: "Moment of Bliss"
Entry: A Light in the Dark Ages
Type: Narrative (Historical Fiction)
Poll Outcome: 45 votes (15.4%)
Notes: First time I'd ever posted any kind of fiction on LJ. I feel like I tried to cram far too much information into too small a space.
Week 4: "Mistaken Identity"
Entry: Life as a Sockpuppet
Type: Essay? (well its not a personal narrative because its not a narrative)
Poll Outcome: 40 (24.5%)
Bonus Entry: Meanwhile, in the Real World
Notes: I meant to emphasize "Where do you draw the line between mistaken identity and perception being reality (ie mistake or not what is identified is what is)" more. There was more to this entry than I think people probably realized, because this LJ was, in fact, actually originally created as a prank, but then grew into a normally-used livejournal. So I really am not entirely sure at what point it ceased to be a "sockpuppet" and became "real." (it did, however, never have anything to do with the silliness accused of it in that entry)
Week 5: [Open Topic]
Entry: Clone Wars: Apis mellifera capensis
Type: Essay, Scientific/Interesting Facts (bees)
Poll Outcome: 45 (16.5%)
Week 6: "Ghosts"
Entry: Reruns
Type: Narrative, Fiction
Poll Outcome: 37 (15.5%)
Notes: First entirely fiction piece I've ever posted to LJ
Week 7: "Hope"
Entry: The Hollow Hope
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: 36 (15.5%)
Notes: Again I'm using "essay" as a catch-all for non-narrative. This was a slightly humorous walk through of how I come up with entry ideas. Additionally I attempted to make the whole thing an analogy to brewing, but it didn't really fit very well. Also the phrase "The Hollow Hope" is taken from the title of one of my law text books.
Week 8: "Ranting, LJ Style"
Entry: Ranting on LJ
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: 37 (15.4%)
Notes: Complete with a poll (which indicates 62% of respondants blog to express themselves), and a gratuitous reference to my social life which I recall inserting entirely in an attempt to find a way to make my entries appeal to the "more personal" standards of other idolists.
Week 9: "Unprepared"
Entry: Getting Stung 130 Times
Type: Narrative, personal
Poll Outcome: 54 (20.5)
Notes: First and, I believe, only personal narrative I've entered for LJ Idol. I'm probably going to be returning to Redding to move more bees this week.
Week 10: "Giving Thanks"
Entry: Thanks a lot, Jackasses
Type: Essay, Personal
Poll Outcome: No Poll
Notes: I was already pissed off because my "e" key was liberally distributing extra "e"s, and my browser had just crashed losing an entry, so I wrote about all the people who had done seemingly mean or harmful things to me ... and how it has helped me.
Week 11: "You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Entry is About You"
Entry: The Vanity of Thinking the Entry is Not About You
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: 41 (19.4%)
Notes:
Week 12: "Sexual Healing"
Entry: Healing Through Fire
Type: Narrative (Historical Fiction)
Poll Outcome: 40 (12.1%)
Notes: I don't know about you, but when I think "sexual healing" I think the Spanish Inquisition! ;D Also I started a bonus entry on this topic about an Inquisitor that actually used the institution of the inquisition to SAVE people from harsher punishments under the civil courts (true story!) .. but then I didn't get around to writing it. :[
Week Week 13: "My Favourite Story"
Entry: Stories
Type: Essay? (not narrative)
Poll Outcome: 51 (14.5%)
Notes: My least favourite entry for the season. d= My problem isn't with the execution, but with the fact that it didn't have a point. I hate entries without a point.
Emo-Snal Green Room Holiday Party!
Entry: Green Room Holiday Party!
Type: Accidental Blasphemy
Notes: Ah lets not forget this. Where I didn't realize "Green Room" was a carefully guarded proprietary element of LJ Idol. I thought it was just a fun concept, but apparently its high treason. Nevertheless it was 151 comments of fun. I stand behind that I had no conceivable reason to know it was forbidden to use the name "green room" in vain.
Week 14: "Irish Revisionist History" & "Holidays"
Entry: Irish Revisionist History
Type: Essay
Poll Outcome: No Poll
Notes: No one else was writing about "Irish Revisionist History" so I had to. Also, linked back to the Green Room Holiday Party for the "holiday" topic as a piece of "performance art."
Week 15: "Resolute"
Entry: Re-Solute
Type: Essay, Instructional
Poll Outcome: 44 (12.3%)
Notes: How to re-solute things. Another entry of my own I rather liked.
Other: LJists Converge!
Notes: On and around new years I get to meet fellow LJ Idolists supremegoddess1,
blueashke, and of course,
gratefuladdict.
Week 16: "Cracking Up"
Entry: Gettin Chicks
Type: Narrative
Poll Outcome: Unknown, Pass (Contestant Only Vote)
Bonus Entry 1: Video of Egg Hatching (if I knew I was actually going to write about the chicks at this point I'd probably have saved the video for the entry)
Bonus Entry 2: A Guide to Laughing on the Internet (if only the entry was mine!)
Bonus Entry 3: Earth Crackin (The Earth itself decides to join the fun with an impromptu earthquake while I'm writing my entry!!)
Notes: A remarkable number of bonus entries. And a fricken earthquake!
Week 17: "Colouring Outside the Lines"
Entry: A Moose Named Dennis
Type: Narrative, Fiction/Humorous
Poll Outcome: 77 (9.5%)* (third overall!)
Bonus Entry: Smurf Village
Notes: Another one of my very favourite of my entries. And yes superhappytime, that moose is named after you. One or two people asked me how the entry related to the topic. I say the entry itself is colouring outside the lines. Performance art my good man.
Week 18: [Open Topic]
Entry: And the Winner Is...
Type: Narrative, Fiction/Humorous
Poll Outcome: Unknown, Pass (Gatekeepers)
Notes: If there was one entry I wrote specifically for the idolist audience it was this one. But since it wasn't normal voting I'm not sure how many of them actually read it. )=
LJ Idol Season Finale Steampunk Ball, what's not to love? Its got everything from Deloreans to G W Bush to vampires and a moose named Dennis.
Week 19: "Its Not What You Think"
Entry: Rainwater: Its Not What You Think
Type: Narrative (mostly)
Poll Outcome: 63 (8.3%)*
Notes: Persons as diverse as my own mother described the entry as "not his best" but dammit I think its a perfectly legitimate entry! :D
Week 20: "Blanket"
Prequel to Entry: "I heard bullets whistle, and there was something charming in the sound."
Entry: Blankets for Peace
Type: Narrative (Historical Fiction)
Poll Outcome: 72 (9.0%)*
Notes: Wasn't sure what to make of the lack of comments to the prequel. Wasn't sure if people thought I was making something scandalous up completely (the prequel isn't historical fiction so much as history, I don't think filled in a single thing from my own imagination), or just were at a loss for words. But there you have it: George Washington apparently supports pre-emptive strikes.
Week 21: "Love Means Never Having to Say..."
Entry: Finding the Meaning of Love 25, Lightyears From Here
Type: Narrative, Fiction
Poll Outcome: 72 (10.3%)*
Notes: I always include a lot of references, and I'm glad that people seemed to get a lot of them in this one. Additional things that no one commented on:
The Ship: the Ex Animo. It's latin for "from the heart." I chose it because it (A) fit the theme of love, (B) was plausible that an interstellar expedition sent by an international Earth body would choose such a name and name it in a "neutral" language rather than any particular country's.
The Crew: Capt Garrey (Gary), Helmsman Trogyev (Pilot Trog from A Moose Named Dennis), and Mark you'd have no reason to guess since its a common name but I used it as a reference to recently withdrawn Idolist lifeinamarble.
The Location: Additionally, and in keeping with my usual habits of making up as little as possible, the planet in question, Fomalhaut does in fact exist, orbiting Alpha Pisces Austrini.
Week 22: "Getting Involved" or "Flying"
Entry: A New Beginning
Type: Narrative (scientific?)
Poll Outcome: 69 (18.5%)* (eliminated)
Notes: Or if I'd termed it "flying" I'd still be in. C'est la vie.
Any feedback on which entries you liked (or didn't) is always appreciated. (=
What Now?
Return to regular programming? Going back through my entries to write up the above, like I mentioned, I was struck by how many non-idol entries there were interspersed in the beginning and how they dropped off. I was also struck by how much I happen to like my non-idol entries. I feel like I'm stuck in an idol style writing mode though so hopefully I can shake it off and find a happy medium again.
Continued following of the remaining Idol contestants and writing to the topics as "the home game?" Probably.
Also, its still three months away but I'm already looking forward to 30 in 30 VI. An entry a day for thirty days, are you epic enough? Consider yourself recruited! ;D
And its not so much a blog thing (though I of course blog about it) but I'm also already getting excited for Epic Roadtrip 2009. More on that later but I'll be fishing for interested participants or persons interested in having us swing by.
It's one, and the polls close in two hours. I have 68 votes, I need 71 to stay in. I'm nestled on the couch with gratefuladdict, while it rains outside.
"I should go" I say. I have a long drive ahead of me.
It's one thirty. I still need three votes. I could post a link to the polls a second time, or post to emosnail for the first time, but I don't. "I should go" I say
It's two. I still need three votes. I could surely call three people I know with LJs who probably haven't voted yet, but I don't. "I should go"
It's three. The polls should be closed, but I haven't looked at them in an hour or so. "I should go" I say, and finally manage to make it out to my car.
I find my car a box full of rain. Apparently I forgot to close the skylight. Even after closing it, it is still raining in my car. The ceiling continues to drip. The seats, everything is soaked. I didn't really want to leave today anyway. So I rejoin my favourite person I've met in LJ Idol on the couch.
But of course, in another sense, I am indeed to leave today.
LJ Idol began with "saying goodbye," but it doesn't end with it. In the end, for me, its about "getting involved."
But yeah, so, in conclusion, I very very easily could have stayed in had I acted on various options I had to drum up an additional three votes, but I realized it was becoming a bit of a treadmill of just how shamelessly can one get the votes they need. Not that there aren't good writers who are getting the votes they need -- there certainly are. But I realized there was a lot of very shameless votemongering, and I didn't want to be part of that.
As I've mentioned before, writing doesn't exist in a vacuum, you'll always be writing for an audience. It's been pretty clear for awhile now that MY demographic is different from the LJ Idol demographic. This week 72% of idolists-other-than-myself wrote about personal experiences, and thats been pretty typical of the whole season. I'm not sure I've written a single entry this season about personal experiences. For me, its not about me, I've never seen the point of writing unless its "bigger than myself." But tales of personal reflection and introspection are the bread and butter of idol. And that was the audience and so I enjoyed the challenge of trying to make history and science appeal to an audience that would rather read about what I learned from my last messy breakup. But I still have my own friends list to take into consideration, and that consists of 444 livejournalists who DO like my writing and whom I respect enough that I absolutely refuse to spam them repeatedly over this LJ Idol thing. So in the end, it was just another choice about fitting the audience.
I awake in the predawn hours while it's still dark, with a panic. I know what I have to do. I urgently hope it's not too late, springing to my feet.
I steal quietly out of my chamber. Across the hall I am greeted by the emblem of the Napoleonic Empire. Previously it had been the emblem of the Merovingian kings of France, but I think nothing of this -- I'll see it thousands of times a day throughout the royal residence. Right now I have something I need to do before everyone wakes.
I creep down the halls. I duck into my sister's chamber, and am out again quickly and quietly just a minute later. I'm feeling a rush of adrenaline; my sister's feeling the rush of a tenth of a gram of poison.
I quickly make my way toward my next target. Servants are beginning to stir. If I encounter any of my siblings after they've already awoke, it could be ... messy.
I arrive at the opulent entrance to another sibling's chamber, and unsheathe a long straight blade before entering. If caught by one of my sibling's supporters I probably wouldn't be so lucky -- the blades they'd use to exact revenge on me are barbed and tend to rip a gaping hole in one's abdomen. But if I work fast and effectively only my supporters and I will be left.
Halfway to my next target I run into one of my brothers in the hallway, looking half-asleep and fuzzy-headed. He's useless though, and could never be king. So I continue on my way. I'd like to say I wasn't born blood-thirsty, this is just politics.
One by one I visit my remaining rival siblings. I am fortunate, I find them all asleep; and they are unfortunate-- I leave them never to awake.
My success assured, I begin to send the prearranged signals to my supporters. They know what to do, and they will do their part to set our plan in motion. I make my way towards the balcony, already servants in the know are making way for me in deference. I see one of my dead sisters being carried down the hall without ceremony.
By the time I appear on the balcony, there are already throngs waiting. The sense of change is in the air. Change you can believe in. The crowd is murmuring and buzzing with gossip. I reach the edge of the balcony and lean over the side, and all eyes turn to me in anticipation. I spread my wings, and take flight. With a great buzz, the crowd follows.