aggienaut: (Numbat)

   First you hear a buzzing. The buzzing of bees among the tall straight gum trees. Then some startled roos burst from the underbrush, dart across a meadow like a panicked school of fish, and funnel across a small wooden bridge over a small creek. Presently, Kris emerges from the forest, with a very large cat on his shoulder.


But pretend its the forest behind me

   Oh hi. I've been sadly sadly neglecting livejournal as late. Fortunately LJ Idol usually motivates me to actually post. It'll be hard though, I'm busier than ever ::carefully removes a bee that has landed on the cat::

   I'm in Victoria now, the very most southern part of mainland Australia (further south than South Australia!), though I think I was already here as of last season? It's always so cold here. So cold. ::shivers::
   I'm not Australian though; I can still be heard loudly declaiming that eggs don't belong on hamburgers and sausages should be put in buns, not flaccid slices of bread. Do I want a beer in any size smaller than a pint? No, that is un-American!!

   When not writing for LJ Idol my livejournal is mostly travelogues. I never got around to writing about Kyrgyzstan last April so I might try to shoehorn that into the first few entries if the topic remotely suits. If you're curious about any of the places I've been, see the index at the top of my livejournal.

   Alright, back to work. ::returns into the forest, narrowly avoiding being killed by a dropbear. Shortly all you hear is the chirping of birds and especially the buzzing of bees.


   And I don't often appear in video, but when I do... well here's a video I recently made with a friend for a lesson I had to give on bee disease identification which I'm posting just so you can visualize the forest I intended to portray in this entry; the forest in which I work.



   And for more of what I know you're really after, more pictures of that gorgeous cat, see my instagram.

aggienaut: (Numbat)

Last week - students sit in circles, where they can find room amid the computers that sit atop every desk. Upon arriving at class they'd been told to go outside and write a description of a random stranger, as practice writing character descriptions. Now they discuss their findings. This fairly overweight fellow is explaining, somewhat smugly, what you can learn about someone from their appearance, as if he's a god-damn master of CSI or something. He's wearing a light blue shirt with a big picture of a wolf's face on it.
   "For example, if their backpack is loaded with books, they're probably a full-time student. If they've only got a a book or two and a notebook, they probably aren't." He repeated this again a little later and shared it with the class as if it were some great wisdom. I look at my desk, all I have is the book for the class and an old blue binder that also contains diagrams on sail theory and charts and tables for navigation.
   "And you can look at their hands and determine whether they work with their hands like they do construction, or maybe they just work at a desk," Mr Sleuth continues. "And if they are wearing flip-flops maybe they live by the beach." Someone hire this guy as a private eye. This is Southern California, who doesn't wear flip-flops?
   I look at my hands, I'm not so sure he'd get a right answer about me from my hands, we're not all caricatures of what we do. I look at my glossy black boots and wonder what he'd say about me if he didn't already know the answers. But this whole thing got me thinking. We almost never describe ourselves the same way we describe other characters. In their introductions, people usually come out shooting with their relationships, their age, their jobs, but that's not how we'd ever dream of first describing a character in a story. Is it simply because the view from within is different, or because we all recognize we are inherently biased about ourselves, or because we realize anything we say about ourselves will inevitably be critically analyzed by the readers as "thats what they WANT us to think about them." We say something complimentary, it looks like we're being self-aggrandizing. We say something negative, it looks like we're fishing for sympathy. It got me really wondering, if I were a character in someone else's story, how would they describe me?

   So let's say you're sitting in this class looking at the fellow with glossy black combat boots. If our perspective is "3rd person limited" and we don't know any backstory, we might say we see a lanky fellow wearing sturdy olive-colored carhartt pants, held up by black suspenders over a black t-shirt with some sort of sailing vessel on it. On his right wrist there appears to be a bracelet woven of some kind of coarse yarn. On his left there's a bracelet of orange clay beads and a rolex with a blue band. Closer inspection may reveal that the face of the rolex is somewhat rusted. He's probably not doing a great job of pretending to be impressed with our classmate's detective skills, but doesn't bother saying anything about it. He's busy wondering what the connotation of the boots and suspenders would be deemed to be.
   He looks at the turkshead he wove on his right wrist and thinks of the numerous times he's been singled out in public places by fellow sailors because they recognized it, confidentially sidling up to him while nodding at the turkshead, asking "what ship you from?" or simply passing with a wink and gesture to their own turksheaded wrist.
   The orange clay bracelet probably looks like just some silly thing to his classmate, but it harkens back to a ceremony in the city of Ibadan, in the southwest of Nigeria. One hot humid February day, there he was, dressed up in African robes, with some kind of plant shoved ceremonially under his hat, and the council of traditional chieftains all around him, it's all a bit of a blur now but there was some drumming and some speeches and in the end there was a plaque conferring the title of "Chieftain Soyindaro," and the presentation of a necklace of orange clay beads and accompanying bracelet. At first he thought it was a bit silly himself, but soon he found that everywhere in Nigeria he went while wearing the beads people called him "chief" and treated him with respect. Once an armed and uniformed soldier in the airport was about to insist on going through all his stuff until he saw the beads.
   He remembers the beautiful princess Nwaji, whose father is a king near Port Harcourt, languidly sliding her rolex off her brown arm and giving it to him, in the quiet of his hotel room in Abuja. Despite her gold adornments, he always suspected it was fake, this is Nigeria after all, but you never know. Either way he should have perhaps been more careful of it, shouldn't have been wearing it when he got submerged in Saklıkent Gorge in Turkey a few months later.

   Of course, most of the important part of our conception of a character is based on their actions and decisions, but there's enough of that before and after this in this livejournal, so we'll leave this description to a moment in time, while our subject is looking thoughtfully at his inflated classmate, at the guy who when we were assigned to write "the story we've told a thousand times" didn't write anything because he said he had no stories.


And an Unrelated Photograph

   Catching a ride in Ethiopia. While I don't carry any artifacts of Ethiopia on my person, I carry it in my heart, so here's a whistful picture.

Exhibit A

Jan. 21st, 2013 08:54 pm
aggienaut: (Numbat)


   The sun, quite impertinently, refuses to set over the ocean here. Instead it hides its colorful daily finale behind the tangled branches of mangroves and eucalypts.



   Not one to be out-witted by a giant ball of gas, I like to swim out beyond the waves and watch the sun set from there. Despite the warm summer breeze (yes, in January), the water is still often warmer than the air in the evening, and the only hard part is getting out. That and sea monsters.

   Eventually the sky fades through ever darker blues to black and a stunning array of stars come out. The strange constellations I'm not familiar with still sort of boggle my mind. Huge "flying fox" bats flit about the sky as I reluctantly leave the water and walk the 100 yards to my house.

   I've tried to catch the sun by getting up early enough for sunrise, but the wily bastard actually rises over a headland which curves out into the Coral Sea, so the sun rises and sets without ever touching the water.

   By 06:30 when I'm headed to work it's usually already too hot for hot coffee. I stop by the bakery every morning to get something for breakfast and ask the girl there how she is. She always responds with "thanks," and that's pretty much the end of that conversation. I tried to suggest she put coffee in the fridge for iced coffee once but she looked at me like I had antlers. During the rest of my day I likely won't talk to anyone. My phone won't ring (I couldn't tell you offhand what the ringer sounds like), and if I receive any texts they're invariably a "special offer!" from telstra.



   The weather report never indicates the "UV Index" as anything other than "extreme." I work in this sun, 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week, with a 9 minute lunch break.

   I work out among the cane fields. The sugarcane walls you in like you're in a hedge maze. It looks kind of like giant grass, like perhaps you've been shrunk to the size of a bee. Then they burn it and cut it and suddenly you're in open space ... for a few more weeks until it's back to where it was. In some places the fields are bordered by impassably thick forest, in which insects make this constant loud buzz like high tension wires. Birds make the weirdest calls, including one that sounds so much like someone whistling for your attention that I still turn around every time. Sometimes a four foot long goanna lizard will saunter out of the scrub to give me a wry look.

   I manage just over 500 beehives on a large farm. Commercial beekeeping smells of diesel and is caked mud on your boots. It is hard work in the hot sun. It is working for crotchety salty bosses as you slowly become one yourself. And yes, it is getting stung. A lot.



   Back here, my boss, the farm owner, looks just like Steve Erwin. He has his same exuberance, except in this case it's for growing vegetables, and everything he says is peppered with the most shockingly profane analogies -- and any given object can be described as a "cunt." I have never seen him wear shoes.

   I can smell bee pheromones, and I can smell bee diseases, without even opening a beehive. I can find a queen bee based on the noises she makes. People ask me if I ever get bit. I've never been bit and I probably never will.

   For "vacation" next month I'll complete a circumnavigation of the Earth, returning to Africa, this time from the east. I can't really recommend Nigeria as a vacation destination, but I rather miss the rolling green mountains of Ethiopia. I'll be in Nigeria to spend another two and a half weeks teaching subsistence farmers practical ways they can profit (/better support themselves) with beekeeping.

   Sometimes the sun is already setting by the time I'm headed home. I swear it's bigger here than anywhere else. Around 5pm, already the forests are bathed in a warm golden light slanting in from the side. The sun sets over the sea of sugarcane as a giant orangish-red fireball. Sometimes I emerge from the corrugated metal extracting shed for a breath of fresh air and find the world illuminated by the moon as if by a floodlight, and I contemplate that 100 years ago I might have seen the exact same scene.

   At night the narrow muddy tracks amid the cane truly do feel like a labyrinth.

   When I get home, if I've missed the sun set, I frequently walk on the beach anyway. Not infrequently I can see lightning flashing silently on the horizon.

   I walk back to the house and dial up the internet with my broadband modem, but everyone I know is already long asleep. All too often there aren't even any interesting emails. I had a housemate who drank himself into oblivion every night, but now he's gone and I have the house to myself. My predecessor in this job had to leave after he lost his eye and half his sanity. I'm told he's still sighted "in town" on occasion, randomly, like a restless ghost.

Sometimes I think I've got it pretty good. Sometimes I think I might be in hell.

aggienaut: (Bees)

   It's not that I want to hide my identity --in fact if it comes up I don't shy away from posting my full name here-- but most of the information one usually fills these introductions with is simply not relevant (Like my name for example. What use is that to you right now?). Read this livejournal, and whomever you think I am is who I am. On any account, one is always the most biased source regarding oneself.

   Unlike 80% of the other introductions you will read here, I do not define myself by my relationships with others.

   To give you some basic context though, I am male, 27, and presently in Southern California.

   I am about to leave for an epic vacation so in the next few weeks I'll be reporting in from Turkey, Israel, Jordan, Egypt, & most obscure of all, NYC.

   Among other things, I like to take pictures. I am the host of LJ Idol photography spinoff [livejournal.com profile] ljshootout. Season 1 is having its final round this week. Sign up for Season 2. Also I did LJ Idol last season.


Unrelated Picture of the Day


There will be pictures.
Possibly unrelated to anything.

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