Darwin Award Material?

[aggienaut]

   More on the lady that committed suicide on the freeway the other day, courtesy of the Orange County Register. As you may recall, she jumped out of a stretch hummer-limo at 75mph.
   "Jessica feared a recent suicide attempt and a couple of missed appointments with a social worker would mean she would not be allowed to see her children again. ... Jessica was upset Vincent [her boyfriend] might leave her, too ... [a friend] confirmed her suicide attempt, sparked by a brief breakup with her boyfriend. ... Shortly after that split, the two reunited in a Santa Ana mental hospital; Vincent said he'd gotten drunk and driven the wrong way down a freeway ... Vincent said he's a musician in the German techno band Klash. Jessica was a "tagalong" who did graphics for the band, he said. ... Vincent, his short, dark hair spiked and dyed purple and wearing playboy bunny earrings and an oversized rhinestone necklace, recalled tripping over his girlfriend's dismembered leg after nearly being hit by a car. ... [The next day] Vincent checked himself into an Anaheim hospital for psychiatric evaluation. ... [at one point the night before the suicide, Jessica] Rowe's boyfriend suggested she stay in the limousine and went into the [Standard hotel on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood] alone. During the hour they were parked nearby, Rowe listened to Rammstein and danced on the sidewalk, at one point trying to dance with a homeless man. The boyfriend returned with four other people (...a 23-year-old male model they had met a few hours earlier and three of his friends...) [The $3000 limo bill was put on a credit card that] did not not belong to any of the occupants, police said. ... Costa Mesa police said that the investigation into Jessica's death has expanded into possible credit-card fraud. ... On Thursday the Irvine apartment where the Hummer went to pick up the couple for their night on the town was posted with an eviction notice.

   I could add my own commentary but I think there are some pretty obvious conclusions here. I'd love to hear your thoughts though.


The Land of Thud
   The Land of Thud is a region on Nationstates.net, in which 3 billion people live in ten nation-states. 37% of these people live in the region's largest country, The Glorious Dominion of Blehtahepdakorum. I just noticed that the official description of the region has recently been changed. It currently reads:

The Land of Thud is the ancestral home of the Thuddites. Its Officially Unofficial Religion is Discordianism, and while all drugs seem to be readily available there is an ominous lack of hot dog buns.

The rights loving commie-pinko states maintain an odd harmony with the oppressive, iron-fisted dictatorships which some think is linked to the amazingly high rates of sexual activity found throughout the entire region (discounting the castle of the eunuch tyrant of Blehtahepdakorum).

   I'd like to comment that (1) the officially official religion is blogtheism, all dissenters will be sent to reeducation camps. (2) Drugs are not readily available in Blehtahepdakorum, we have one of the world's most pervasive police forces! (3) the eunuch tyrant of Blehtahepdakorum is looking to regulate sexual activity in his state. (4) with 98% of the military forces in the region, Blehtahepdakorum is looking to impose its enlightened policies on its neighbours.


Picture of the Day

this is what you wake up to if you're caught not being a blogtheist in Blehtahepdakorum. People in this situation often exclaim "omgwtf, why is there honeycomb in my bedroom?!

Previously on Emosnail
   Two Years Ago Today: Up And Down the 55 - Jack Bighead Show
   Year Ago Yesterday: Bad Oral ... Presentations - And I hang out with Aimee. Aimee and I plan on hanging out tomorrow incidently, for the first time in a year and three days. Also I created an awesome Customer Service Questionnaire. Another peice of blogging gold I'm going to have to resurrect at some point.
   Year Ago Today: WTF UCI - Apparently answering cell phones during class is acceptable at UCI. See also, funny pictures of old people.

Comments

[emd.livejournal.com]

I could add my own commentary but I think there are some pretty obvious conclusions here. I'd love to hear your thoughts though.


PLEASE. say more. I wanna know your thoughts.

my thoughts

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Okay well, so they boyfriend picks up a male model and the latter's three friends, dresses as described, and the girlfriend is convinced he's gonna leave her. I think its obvious she thinks he's swingin for the other team -- he's gonna leave her for the male model! Also, these people are Darwin Award material. They make driving on the wrong side of the road and tripping over eachother's dismembered legs a way of life. Its a miracle the boyfriend is still alive. I give him five more years, tops, before he decides to play chicken with a bigrig in a motorcycle or something.

Also I think I wrote a far better article about the situation by combining sentences from several newspaper articles, above, than any of the articles themselves. But then again, they have certain word quotas so I suppose they have to interlard it with fluff and thats where they put their technique and craft.

[(Anonymous)]

Your "Funny Pictures of Old People" is one of my all time favorites of yours. Best quote : Oy Glaven, I don't have any panties on under this.

I also agree that Gaby definitely looks like she's about to do someone in with that pen. (And she'd probably not be stopped at an airport security screen!)

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

Sorry, forgot to be logged on. That was me.

Reminds me of the time I thought someone I was reading regularly had defriended me because I wasn't seeing their posts anymore. I wrote a sorry to see you go kind of post and then (too late) realised that I hadn't been logged on.
(IDiot!)

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Man everyone is posting anonymous these days. Earlier today emd said she never posts anonymous and immediately thereafter she accidently did.

[emd.livejournal.com]

people who post annon are retarded. You get some really weird ass annon comments kris. hella.

the comment where I get sidetracked into a completely idfferent subject

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

I used to get a lot of good hateful anons. Did I get those this year too? I think I might of around the timeframe of the War On Wrong. Man that was some good times. You know the ones where I post their comment the next day for all to ridicule. Some people say if you ignore them they'll go away, I say BRING IT ON! (Followed by Bring It On II, which will have none of the same anonymous characters and will mysteriously appear on grocery store checkout line shelves despite the fact that no one will EVER watch it read the comments.

[orwell-troll.livejournal.com]

I am sensing some uneasieness and expansionist tendencies in your position, Herr Dictator of Blehtahepdakorum. Please rest assure that we are not trying to impose our religions upon your people, and we are happy to be your trading partners. If you have issues with any of the other nations, feel free to trade with us for necessities of war, such as training manuals and army paperwork. Our vast publishing empires can work for you.
- Prime Minister of Davis Wiki

OOC: Me looks to increase military spending just in case.
By the way, the Land of Thud is described in the Principia Discordia as the region around Whittier.