I Do What I (Don't) Want

   Swim
   Go to the lumber yard.
   Swim
   Hang out with people, sleep.
   Swim
   Puke
   Swim some more
   Plan for tomarrow morning: Swim my brains out again.

   Why? Well this morning I was supposed to pass the tests to work as a Deep Guard at wild rivers again. But we didn't finish everything soo I need to go back tomarrow.
   I despise swimming. Swimming makes me sick.. literally. So why do I try so hard to be one of the elite deepguards at wild rivers with all the varsity swimmers and waterpolo players? I don't know.. I think I have issues. Basically, I have to prove to myself that I can be one of the best at things I don't like. Similarly, even though I actually find acting rather tedious, even more so back then, I managed to be the only freshman in Drama II in HS, and one of two in the advanced drama play (the other one got in because he looked like a small child). Similarly, all through HS I avoided any leadership position at all in anything.. and then.. then I noticed I was doing that.. and now.. yea.

   It was cute seeing the fear in the new recruits that were doing the testing with me.. expecially in anticipation of "the grate," meaning the wavepool intake that for part of the test we have to jump in right next to... yea.. all the deepguards showed the recruits their scars from it.. I myself definitely have some. It only made me bleed a little bit today though.


   I totally went to sleep when I got home from Wild Rivers today.. and when I woke up I was lying on a steel reserve bottlecap. wtf?


   In other news: last night: I am further convinced that Brandon is totally poser-gay . I wish I had a camera; Crispy and Abby were totally cuddling on the grass, and Brandon was totally like basicalyl trying to spoon her from the other side.. not that there was any lack of room but he was right up against her. Such a freak I swear. And meanwhile Mike the disgusting human was humping this totally plastered girl in the shrubbery. good times good times. I wonder if she remembered it in the morning.


I'm So Indie
   "I am far too indie to read official publications, I hear about all my shows from word of mouth .... omg that is so going in my livejournal." -Me, last night.


   No one comments to my entries anymore.. maybe I really SHOULD make em shorter.