The Agrinautica

   So yesterday, Saturday, we were all hanging out at Diedrichs like we allllways do right. And then Mike the Horrible Human decides to up and throw a bottle at two completely random middle-aged women who were coming in to diedrichs (recall when he tried to throw one at a passing SUV), I guess just because he thought that would make him look like one tough doesn't-give-a-shit mofo. Yea well then he had apologize like no other as the ladies cussed him out, and run and hide when the cops showed up.. yea real tough. Anyway so yea he was gone when the cops arrived and gave us all a lecture. A lecture while I'm drinking beer out of a diedrichs cup that I sharpied "sXe" on the top of. Heehee. But yea it sucked. And they were like "we're gonna start cracking down on the people hanging out here." Thanks a lot Mike.
   Then we went to Cordillera elementry, but almost immediately someone yelled "cops" and we fled.. from where they were standing though I'm pretty sure they couldn't see any inbound cops on us. I think it was even Brandon that called it, focker. Then to Top of the World for a bit. Sure enough as soon as we returned to Diedrichs to bring people back to their cars the cop popped up immediately to investigate what we were up to, and then was seen marauding back and forth on the nearby streets. Then I think we spent 40 minutes trying to convince Matt Morgan that he was too drunk to drive. He wouldn't let anyone else drive his car, and he needed his car in the morning so it needed to go home with him.. quite a quandry.

   The one good aspect is that Mike is now blacklisted from Diedrichs. I hope they enforce it.


   Now I work 12:00 to 20:00. I hate that shift.
   The Promise Ring cover of "Gouge Away" by the pixies was going through my head over and over again as I lay in bed this morning for some reason.

   So yesterday I wanted to hang out with the Ashlee and Aimee's again.. but Aimee was sleeping. Silly Aimee. So I picked up Ashlee and of course returned to diedrichs. Where they were doing less than usual. I was like.. yea.. the one time I bring a nondiedrichs friend there are no beach bonfires or good times at Top of the World. Figures.
   We eventually ended up in a field by Cordillera elementry or something. Kyle, one of the diedrichs kids I think is particularly for awesome (and had been wearing a gas mask all day randomly), got attacked by a soccer net apparently and looked like he'd had the shit beat out of his face.. psha on that.
   The Ultimate Dumbass award must now go to Mike the Horrible Human, who has overshadowed Brandon the poser-gay's smashing of Katie's rooftop airfilters, by throwing an empty 211 40 at a passing SUV. If he had had enough skill to actually hit the car he would have been in a world of shit, and he would deserve every bit of it.
   Unfortunately Croat got greedy and tried to get free taco bell at ten minutes to midnight, while they were still totally open and lights all on and such. He got one pizza out of it out of pity, but the employees refused to give out most of the food because of it. Let that be a lesson to everyone else to be not greedy. I must express much sympathy for Croat though because he apparently has a massive ulcer right now. Psha on that.


   Currently wasting time before going in to wild rivers to do beach runs... I intend to keep a low profile until saturday morning inservice whereupon I'll see if Nikki can give me the deep tryout. Mother of course never tires of nagging me and is trying to convince me to maintain a very visible profile there.. my rationalization of mine: "look everyone knows I'm never getting promoted, so I'm just trying to bring less shame upon myself for appearing to be oblivious to the fact."
   Beach runs totally suck ass. As deep guard Stephanie "Guacamole" Gamache said yesterday, "who in their right mind would do beach runs for fun?????"

4th of July Festivities
   So like any evening, it started out with a trip to Diedrichs, which is on the way anywhere anyway. During the short time I was there Suzanne showed up.. which was crazy cause thats where her "Evil Ex" Chris hangs out.. so I don't by any means claim to have had any part in their reconciliation, but I was there when it happened. (= And on that subject she has recently recanted her earlier proclaimation that I am the devil incarnate so.. yea.
   Anyway Diedrichs closed at 6:30 on account of the 4th. Psha on that. But I had to mosey on to go pick up Ashlee and Aimee anyway, so I went off and did that, and then met up with the Diedrichs crew again at a place of Katie D'agistino's in Santa Ana or Anaheim. This place was like... amazing. It was one of them tall narrow places that was hella modern-artsy on the third or fourth floor where it got wider, and an art gallery on the bottem floor... yea. It was the for awesome. And I discovered we had roof access, which led to many of us accessing the roof, and widespread exploring of the rooftops.
   Anyway it was quite the nice little party. But then there was this guy Brandon who I swear is like poser-gay. Like.. gay because he can't get girls so he pretends he doesn't want to. Like.. I got that vibe already but then when he was drunk he could not keep his hands off Aimee or Ashlee. Anyway, he got the drunken idea to throw shiznaz off the roof and kick piping up there and stuff.. and I have no sympathy for him cause (A) that was dumb and immature, and (B) it's Katie's house, ass. So yea the Cracked Out Security Guard apparently somehow managed to figure this out, between being cracked out and well, being cracked out. He was like sweating like no other and stammering and barely coherent... someone said he was prolyl actually on heroin? I don't know but he was for certainly on something. So security-miser gets all up on us and we determine it was definitely Brandon who was the ass and needs to step up and take the blame. And then.. then when asked if anyone else was doing it Brandon said Aimee was (I'm pretty sure that while she WAS up there with him, she wasn't actually throwing shiznaz).. because you KNOW that when you're about to get in trouble with The Man for something you should always try to pull someone else down with you just for company right? Oh wait, NO. That would be reason (C) I have no sympathy for him.
   Anyway, with all this going down most of us decided it was time to split.. so I drove Ashlee and Aimee home.. The End.

   I found out the guy with the Flogging Molly and Steel Reserve shirts is named "Matt." He is for awesome. Matt: "Hey Kris whats your favorite malt liquor?" me: "Steel Reserve, no question." Matt: "Duuude this guy is soo in our Steel Reserve Crew!"


BASICALLY, I NEED A NEW JOB, BASICALLY
   So I had work today. I worked for an hour and then was informed that I am not actually LIFEGUARD CERTIFIED so I couldn't work.. they can't recertify me in that until next saturday morning. (I'm certified in CPR and Defibrillating and other shiznaz like that howeveR). Anyway, the joke's on them, cause I haven't been lifeguard certified for THREE YEARS! Fockers. Yea, basically I'm a bad person its true.
   And I also learned today that I once again didn't pass the Department of State Foreign Service Exam. Aannnd I am currently not enrolled in any classes at UC Davis for the fall. I think I'll look into getting in the illegal arms trafficking business. I hear its lucrative.

   But seriously if anyone knows of anywere that is hiring I need a job.... at a coffeeshop, or lifeguarding, or uhhh as a cook...