On Gettin Jumped

[aggienaut]

UCDP Case #D306-992

   So I wake up right. And I'm like "man, that was a weird dream. I was like, fighting people." And then I look around and all my friends are crowded around me, its dark out and I'm on the concrete. I say something like "what the heck is going on?" and someone says something about a fight, and I'm like "wow that was real?"
   So I say something about getting up or going somewhere.. I don't know what I could have been saying I must have been delirious, but Nick says "stay there, an ambulence is coming for you" and I'm like sheit. Then my lifeguard instincts kick in with "wait, I was unconcsious, yes I need to go to the hospital."
   So the paramedics arrive and put me on a backboard. Paramedic: "you ever been on the recieving end of one of these?" "let me tell you it sucks ass being on a backboard in water..." but no really I've only done it in training this is the first time I've ever been backboarded seriously or drivin in an ambulence. They put an IV in me ack I hate needles.
   Spent maybe two hours at the hospital? My left hand was uselss and my head hurt all over, but they x-rayed my hand and neck and declared nothing wrong. Hospital paperwork says I have a "closed head wound" thuogh, go figure.

   But because Nick's friend has my keys, I wasn't able to get in my room until this afternoon, lets review:
Getting jumped by four hoodlums: 2 hours in the hospital.
Nick's friend has your keys: homeless for 39 hours.


   Flashback! From what I remember of the begining of things, I was talking to some friends when the uglieist of the redneck kids pushed me. I turn around and he's handed his beer to his friend and is stairing up at me with his beady eyes trying to scare me. So I stare down at him confidently and answer his dumb questions as best I can, after about a minute his friend hands him back his beer and is like "lets go." And they turn to go away.
   Then the first guy suddenly turns back and goes to pour his beer on me, I instinctively hit the cup out of his hands. I forget if any got on him but I hope it did, it sure didn't get on me. Next thing I know all four of em jump me.
   It was a bit like a mosh pit.
   No seriously I'm not kidding. And I wanted to laugh at them because all four of them were not doing anything to me at all. All the other guys at the party ran in and this mass brawl started. It was still getting pretty hot for me though so I managed to get out of the middle. Last thing I remember I had broken free from the mob. Then I woke up.
   As far as I can tell what happened is that one of Them got free and ran and jumped on me, getting me on the ground, and witnesses say he proceeded to stomp on my head. Good times. If it weren't for that I woulda gotten out unscathed ::shakes fist::. No seriously the only injuries I have sustained is the mass bludgeoning of my head, which was resultant of the aforementioned, these guys were freakin sissies.

   I heard that some people have identified the attackers. I will definitely be pursuing that and bringing up charges, because four on one and stomping on an unconcsious persons head is not kosher at all.

   If you have anything you'd like to contribute either tell me, or officer Calvin Change of the UCDP, regarding case D306-992 (UCDP: (530)752-1727). Oh hey if you're lazy I just realized he has an email address too: cbchang@ucdavis.edu


   Otherwise the party went pretty well. Nick gets uniqueness points beceause the party was out in the freakin forest. I thought I'd get lost forever while I was triyng to find it. And while I was walking I see this silhuette of a guy coming towards me, in a trench coat with long hair, and I'm like "uhoh, freak!" but no, it turns out its former ASUCD Senate Candidate Xavier Gdfaith. Good times.

Comments

[pocketbookannie.livejournal.com]

yay! kris i'm so glad your alright!

that was scary what happened at nick's party. it was like the first fight i've ever seen in real life!

[shid.livejournal.com]

You're obviously feeling fine now, judging by your IMs :P

So what did they ask you? REMEMBER? HAHAHAH ... :)

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Errr my IMs?? what was I talking about? I don't remember... I was prolly delirious!!

[roxymartini.livejournal.com]

YAYY!! you aren't hurt badly enough to have lost your sense of humour!
i was slightly disturbed when i called you and you didn't have that jovial "accent" of yours.
i'm glad you're better.
i've given Kristy explicit instructions to bring you drugs. valium, morphine, heroin, etc etc.

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Ah you were behind that. Yea she forced me to take drugs its true. I am so sXe I was generally refuse to even take advil or anything.. just like heroin bob..

drugs are gooooood (well.... advil is)

[basicallyasap.livejournal.com]

yay Diane! Totally did my job... Kris, you were totally in pain... advil was necessary silly! Plus advil is so tasty, its true...mmmmmm sugarcoating.... and you KNOW you felt better. YaYforAdViL

[zszeldasz.livejournal.com]

They total weren't my minions. Mine are more creative. Those guys give attacking a bad name yup.

dude, long hair+trench = KAWAII

[xtakenandhatedx.livejournal.com]

hey ... this reminds me of the time that 15 guys ran out of a burning building and then jumped in circles around me and chanted things such as "mayyyyoooooNAISE!".

oh, wait. no it doesn't.

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Dude that same thing happened to me. And I was like "shiit, last time I try ot bur ndown a mayonaise factory," but then I realized.. it wasn't a mayonaise factory...

[supernovastar16.livejournal.com]

you two are both weak
pshhh
mayonaise=weaksauce
its ALL about ketchup
i'm pretty sure henry will back me up

nice usage of weaksauce

[basicallyasap.livejournal.com]

OMG nice usage of weaksauce, I apologize, I am amused by such little things... curious curious though, Did you pick that up from Kris or did you always use that word? (because kris actually picked that up from me hahaha) craziness....AND Ketchup is the bestsauce, its true.... Ilove ketchup (insanely much so, some might say) So basically, basically you are awesome! thatisall.

Re: nice usage of weaksauce

[supernovastar16.livejournal.com]

hehe, not to worry
i am also amused by such little things in life
but no, i didn't pick that up from kris
but i did decide that would be an apropriate
word to use in the situation, and given the person i was commenting to
they would appreciate such word usage.
[haha you=trend setter, kris=stealer]
ketchup=totally awesome, and yes i must admit
i own a ketchup shirt hahaha
thank you, you are pretty awesome yourself
[or as kris would say "for awesome"]

Re: nice usage of weaksauce

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

"Catsup" people its C A T S U P the end. (=

Re: nice usage of weaksauce

[basicallyasap.livejournal.com]

uhhh no i am sowie kris, its basically always
KETCHUP ....... always
there is not "cat" or "sup" in Ketchup! sillyboy

Re: nice usage of weaksauce

[supernovastar16.livejournal.com]

don't mess with
girls=always right
especially kristy and i
dontmakemecomebeatyouup

[wdsguy.livejournal.com]

Did your homies back u up?

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately in this case my "homies" were a bunch of emo and indie kids. Seriously. So... they weren't able to do much.

[willnotheal.livejournal.com]

UNSCATHED...wow. Did I ever tell you how much I love you? Because only a GOD can come out of that unscathed. Excpet you don't believe in God, nor do I. Wow was that funny and pointless.

[your-evenstar.livejournal.com]

your life is fast becoming something out of SLC Punk...let me know when you dye your hair blue, Heroin Bob. lol.

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Hehe yea as I was trying to explain it to someone I was like "you know how in SLC Punk they explain that the hicks fight the punks just cause thats what they do? yea it was just like that"

Re:

[your-evenstar.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha...I need to rent that movie. I miss it.

[charu72.livejournal.com]

I forget if any got on him but I hope it did, it sure didn't get on me

no....it got on cheryl.

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

...is this cheryl?

[charu72.livejournal.com]

yesh'um

UC DavASS

[emosnail.livejournal.com]

Coolies

OMG I just discovered your ucdavass community. For awesome!

that is totally for sucks dude...

[dysfunk408.livejournal.com]

man that is mega lame...this is why you should bring me with you wherever you go...the BxUxIx crew the KYD crew, the human debris mob, and the backups clique are always down toe throw down their mastery of the drunk horse kung fu styles...a similar thing happened to me not too long ago, but it ended up getting broken up before anyone got hit...i actually took a swing to my recollection, but missed cuz i was so drunk...same kinda scenario though...4 guys, talkin shit..you just can't help that sorta thing...rob roy, if you are reading this, FUCK YOU...