Saturday Meta BBQs return!

[aggienaut]

   I haven't really talked much meta this LJ season, as I had last year. There's not really much to say in the beginning when everyone's just getting oriented and haven't even started to wonder the eternal questions yet. But it looks like in just the last week or two, possibly due to the gatekeeper round, questions such as "what is this" and "why are we here" and "what's the meaning of life?" have been comign up a bit. I'm told they even came up in the Green Room but I'm still avoiding that dismal green mire.


   As such I bring you...

10 Reasons I Should Be America's Next Top LJ Idol Gatekeeper¹ (coming to TVs near you, hosted by Tyra Banks!)
(AKA my thoughts on life, the univerese, and everything, as it pertains to LJ Idol)

1. Why Are We Here? "This is a writing contest after all," "...because this is a journal writing competition" "etc etc" -- statements I've seen in many many places over the last two years to dismiss any entries that are not journal style or at least primarily "writing" based. However, I submit to you that there is no basis for this assertion. Ye Lord High Administrator (ie Gary) has been good enough not to ever clarify this, which I am very grateful for because it allows the rest of us to have epic existential debates about this. Lacking commandments from on high all we have to go on is that this is a "livejournal" competition, based on deductive reckoning extrapolated from the name of the thing. As such, I firmly believe that anything that can be submitted as an LJ entry is fair game, and frankly, in my opinion, the more creative the better.

2. Beyond the Writing following from the above, in my opinion drawings, photos, cartoons, videos, phone posts, poetry, your fricken grocery list, are all fair game. A few people in discussing how they judge entries have commented that they frown on entries that significantly rely on things other than writing. Personally, I actually enjoy such entries and wish there were more of them. I've always intended to make an lj idol submission as phone post, and still intend to. So I encourage you all to consider these other creative ways to make a submission, and when you are deciding who to vote for please don't pass these people by based on a baseless assumption about what's a valid submission.

3. Does spelling / grammar matter? Some people refuse to vote for an entry that has a single typo. Others overlook such things entirely. Personally I think you're being a bit draconian if you won't tolerate a single typo. I know I know people should learn to spell check, and I should put a comma between those "I knows," but I can't be bothered, frankly. And moreover, apparently the connection between my brain and hands is verbal because I keep typing homonyms which I know the difference between but the wrong one ended up on the page. I say realize writers are human and they make little errors which don't actually reflect on the merit of their writing. However egregious errors and disingenuous syntax are certainly something to weigh to the degree it does reflect on the author's writing ability.

4. Fact vs Fiction The majority of LJI entries seem to be what I would term "personal nonfiction narratives." That is, people see the topic and write about some poignant memory it dredges up from their past -- usually about an ex. Personally I prefer to write what I consider a "blog entry" ie basically a sort of essay. I compromise with the tastes of LJI by usually prefacing it with a fictional story that highlights the point, but I basically aim to make an essay sort of point.
   If not an essay I like to write historical fiction and there will sometimes be genuinely journal-like entries on my latest adventures, if I recently traveled back in time in a steam powered zeppelin or something.
   Does this mean I don't vote for all your angsty entries about your ex? Not necessarily. Does this mean the people who believe my entries should be all about that time around oh 11am June 16th 2007 when my girlfriend Kristy broke up with me (rehashing it in a million poetic ways) do not vote for me because I chose to write about an obscure moment in the 7th century instead? Probably. Please be open to the open-ended nature of the definition of what this is.

5. Warning: Contents Emotional But if you ARE writing about that special moment in your past, please make sure that it means something to the rest of us and isn't a "you had to be there moment." Relying on your emotional content just won't translate for those of us with black little hearts of ice, and after all, we're people too ... in theory. But seriously, I know some people eat that shit up, and I know I just said to be open for other's styles of doing things, but just flogging the emotion train over and over again gets really really dull. Have a thesis or twist! And "my current sig other is the most delightful person ever" is NOT going to do it for me (I know some pretty delightful people).

6. Entry Too Long Seriously people. Entries that are 11, 15 pages long... this is not Short Story Idol. Now I've seen some lovely lovely entries that are that length, but also a lot of crap ones. One of the delightful things about LJI is it's not a writing contest in a vaccuum .. you have to actually get a number of people to read and like your entry. So you have to keep in mind your audience. I see a lot of entries that are very well written and would surely do great in front of a panel of judges who are obligated to read them all. However our audience here is primarily the casual reader of the blogosphere, and they don't have time to read a novel. Nor are they going to be into an entry that requires actually caring about your life to find interesting. Last year once I got eliminated I tried to recommend every entry I found recommendable each round and be able to give a specific reason why I didn't recommend every entry I didn't, and more often than not the only problem with the entry was just that I couldn't recommend it because it would not be worth the time for someone who wasn't in Idol. It's got to be interesting enough that someone will read it without any knowledge of Idol see.

7. Disclaimer: If you have to preface your entry with a paragraph explaining that the entry is for LJ Idol, there's a pretty good chance that you have to do this specifically because the entry is the sort that wouldn't fly if it weren't in the context of LJ Idol, and in accordance with #6 above, is probably not getting my vote. (note that I'm not saying I frown on the disclaimer itself, but rather specifically if you need to use a disclaimer there are probably other problems)

8. The False Start Another problem with the disclaimer is it causes the reader to be skipping things before they even reached your first para. Once they already have that skipping-along inertia, the odds are good they're going to carry it right into your entry and end up skimming right through it. Starting your entry with song lyrics or a marginally-related poem accomplishes this as well. Don't sink your ship before you start!

9. "Show Don't Tell" I'd think this would be obvious by now but people are still writing "this happened and then this happened" entries. You shouldn't do this because I can't decide to classify them as essays or narratives if you're going to write a narrative it really is a much more engrossing read if you set the reader in the scene.

10. Self Righteousness It's always nice to see someone being passionate about things, but it's kind of a turnoff when they're just dripping with self righteousness to the point that you think someone's going to need to bring a mop. There are probably more crafty ways to make a more solid point than use the brute force of your passion. And/or if say, you're writing about the Great Unanswerable Questions², it's a presumptuous to act like you are the be all end all on the subject, or we should care about what you have to say.

¹ not really though because I assure you I cannot win this game, and besides Gary probably loathes me^4
2 by which I mean, the questions that I have answered here.^3
3 I am, of course, right.^3
4 Footnotes are fun but kind of disconcerting when they require one to scroll up and down a whole page (or more), no?


Unrelated Picture of the Day
Totally different from unrelated song lyrics ;)

I plot my next entry

Bonus fact: it doesn't matter what time you post an official LJI submission since people will read it out of a sense of civic duty when going through the polls, but but any other post, it is a proven fact that hardly anyone will read it if posted between 5pm EST on a Saturday and some time Monday morning. As such no one is going to read this entry. I mean to get it posted earlier but was busy walking on the beach in lovely weather. ): Important note: this para has nothing at all to do with late official submissions to LJI kthxbai.

Comments

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Man, I should have worked the phrase "you need to walk before you can run YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING BE NOW GOD DAMN IT!" into this entry and posted it for the topic.

In which case I'd have to devote a full number to "don't fucking write meta"

Just to be ironical.

[rattsu.livejournal.com]

I always do give an extra plus to people who do the weird things, the comics, the photos, and just the odd little things that spice up life. I love variety. More than anything I see this as a competition in creativity and joy of sharing things!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Exactly! :D

[flameprincess.livejournal.com]

I'm probably horrible but I won't read an entry that has a warning of triggers. I get so annoyed by seeing that advisement that it turns me off from reading. Probably from past seasons overdosing on using it.

The stories covering how horrible life is/was/will be don't really do it for me either. I've considered (for when I'm bored and have no life to contend with) actually seeing how many people recycle the sob stories in new and inventive ways to try and secure votes.

Yes I'm a cynic.

That being said, I've either voted once or not voted this season. I'm not really sure on that score. Life got in the way and even though I actually was reading all the entries and running a list of ones to vote for, I kept missing the deadline to vote. Moral of the story: Mandi's rules for votes don't apply :)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yeah someone else commented on the triggers in their list of things that turn them off about entries. I tend to agree but as a not-very-sensitive person I figured I ought to be sensitive to the fact that maybe some people ARE really easily freaked out about things. But I remember it reached epidemic proportions last year in terms of the number of entries with warning triggers and it was rather out of hand.

But on a similar note I think it's also silly when they put NSFW warnings on entries that are just text. NSFW is usually reserved for something that will open up a picture which might raise eyebrows when seen from across the room at work ... unless someone is reading over your shoulder I don't see how just text can be NSFW!

And yeah there's seriously so many of these entries about abusive exes (in the body of this entry I just referred to them being about "exes" so as not to come off as making fun of people with abuse in their past, but seriously, they're all about specifically abusive exes) I really wonder if these people are recycling or just have a number of abusive exes each.

WHAT you haven't been voting for me?? :D :D

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

See, as someone who has real, physical triggers that make me literally black out (I have passed out in very public places at the mere mention of certain subjects, without warning), I really appreciate that people DO put them on, even if it's not something that triggers me. The problem for me is that the thing that triggers me (detailed descriptions of surgical procedures, which trigger me because I nearly had an arm amputated when I was 20) aren't things anyone thinks about warning for.

The problem, I think, is that most people DON'T have triggers, and because of that, they don't know when to warn for them or what requires a trigger warning. And most real triggers are set off by very specific language or descriptions. I don't know any rape victims who are triggered by broad theoretical discussions of rape-- I do know rape victims who are triggered by descriptions of a specific rape experience.

I also don't think most people know what a trigger IS. A trigger isn't "This makes me upset." A trigger is "this sets off a physical reaction that I can't control." In my case, it's black outs. In other cases, I know people who are bulimic whose gag reflexes are so weak after years of being bulimic that hearing decriptions of other people's bulimia or other disordered eating will literally activate their gag reflex and can undo weeks or months of hard work to not be bulimic. If something makes you uncomfortable, it means it's either successful or not to your taste. If something triggers you, it might mean it sets off a panic attack or high blood pressure or any one of a number of physical ailments.

Lots of people, including me, have obscure triggers, and I don't expect people to warn for mine. But there are a few basic ones that I find it's commen decency to warn for-- graphic depictions or frank, specific discussions of eating disorders, self-harm or self-mutilation, and rape. Those are the ones that most commonly set off unhealthy behaviors or uncontrollable physical reactions. Just saying "rape" won't do it, but talking about a specific rape will. Knowing what it is and what causes it can help people figure out when they need to do it, and can limit the overuse of trigger warnings that can trivialize the use of them when they ARE needed.

[stormkitty.livejournal.com]

Bonus fact: it doesn't matter what time you post an official LJI submission since people will read it out of a sense of civic duty when going through the polls, but but any other post, it is a proven fact that hardly anyone will read it if posted between 5pm EST on a Saturday and some time Monday morning.

See, maybe I'm a bitch (wait, no, I have it on a lot of good authority that I am), but I will usually automatically mark a "no" vote on my spreadsheet for anyone who comes in after the deadline. Now, because I track the topic entry and get them in email, I do give a 5 minute leeway for notification delays. But these ones that are sliding in 20-40 minutes AFTER the deadline just piss me right off. It's not like we're given 24 hours to do this in. We often have many days. I made the deadline, most of the other contestants made the deadline, so there's really no reason the late entrants can't make the deadline. Just suck it up and take the bye. Granted, after this week that won't work. I guess I might be one of the few that value being on time.

But yeah, I have my own list (a lot of which mirrors yours I see) on what I will and won't vote for. I keep thinking maybe I'll post it. :) If I get kicked out, I surely will post it.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Oh I didn't know people regularly posted after the deadline?

This week was the second time I spent all week trying to think of something to write and then came up with an idea almost the moment it was too late. How does this happen??? ):

But in the above quoted "bonus fact" I was of course not referring to judging entries by time posted but just bemoaning the fact that this entry will probably get few comments due to the time it was posted. Which I actually did so people's "I'll prove you wrong" glands would act up and make them comment ;D

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

See, maybe I'm a bitch (wait, no, I have it on a lot of good authority that I am), but I will usually automatically mark a "no" vote on my spreadsheet for anyone who comes in after the deadline.

If you're a bitch, then I'm a bitch, too, because I feel the same way. I think of it like any other project: If it's due at 5 pm, it's due at 5 pm, not 5:01. Computers die, LJ goes down, whatever. Count on something happening and get your shit in early so that you can't complain when it's 4:50 and you throw your worst piece of writing up there at 5 pm and 59 seconds.

[drippedonpaper.livejournal.com]

It's always of interest to me when I read what others think of TRLJI entries. Thanks for sharing:)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

No problem (: Last year when the numbers got lower I did a lot of breaking down what I thought of things and stuff. I try not to give specific criticism unless asked, but it's always kind of harrowing when someone who had an entry I thought was crap asks me why I didn't recommend their story and I've got to try to put it all into the most diplomatic and constructive manner I can. (:

[drippedonpaper.livejournal.com]

No, you don't suck up, you just hypnotize!:) (re: your icon:)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

It's something like [lj-poll-#######] but with triangle brackets and the number of the poll in question (which can be found on the poll itself)

Last year I didn't exactly suck up to people but I made a vague effort to get along with people. Before this year started I told myself "I'm going dispense with trying to get along!!" ... but I think I've actually been more agreeable this year. ...though I guess this is still earlier than shit really started hitting fans last year.

[teh-dirty-robot.livejournal.com]

What exactly IS LJ Idol?

[rattsu.livejournal.com]

Insanity. Awesome insanity *nods*

Re: What IS LJ Idol

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

What ISN'T it!

It's a writing contest of sorts. We're givin a prompt every week to write for, and then every week there's a poll and the bottom vote getters get eliminated, until every year there's one person left, that year's winner. It's run through therealljidol. I find it a fun little diversion that keeps me challenged to write my best and think of things to write about every week.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

I am a little drunk right now so I will make an intelligent comment tomorrow but I heart you right now yay!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

:D no no you definitely need to stay and drunkenly comment! I love drunk conversations!! :D

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

I personally am totally enjoying reading how everybody else finds the same things disturbing/boring/ that I do! Yay!!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Do you have an internet ring? :D

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

*takes notes*

I've probably been guilty of a few of these (I think I hit #s 4,5, and 6 this week) - but it's my first year in the competition, therefore I reserve the right to use some of my time writing long-winded personal narratives about my past for catharsis. ;)

#10 bothers me. I feel the same way, and then I wonder why it is that we demand that the next LJ Idol winner be humble and pure, and completely unaware of their talents.

4, 5, & 6!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

and then I wonder why it is that we demand that the next LJ Idol winner be humble and pure, and completely unaware of their talents.

We do? :D Humble and pure and virtuous!


And maybe I'm just bitter that I personally don't feel comfortable writing emotional entries in the public sphere. (: d:

[lovewas.livejournal.com]

I agree on most of those. The only problem I have with #9 is when descriptions become overkill and the main focus of the story is lost. It's like in the Babysitter's Club when Chapter 2 of each book was dedicated to Claudia's wardrobe. Ok, jangly banana earrings are hip and all, but get to the plot already.

Re: #6. People complain about long entries, but those tend to get a lot of votes, and the briefer entries are what often causes a contestant to get eliminated. Maybe there are people who believe that length = effort and reward that accordingly? I'm actually one for lengthy entries AND shorter entries provided they are captivating. For the last round there are entries where I understood why that person was eliminated, but others where, when I saw their name, I was like, bwuh? And that applied to previous weeks as well.

Length

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yeah I've definitely seen a few really short entries. And while I'd like to believe an extremely short entry can be packed full of poignance or brilliance, a lot of these entries just smacked of having not put any effort in.

But yeah, I've seen a lot of long entries that were actually really good, and I might have voted for them even, but esp when it comes to the time when I'm posting recommendations I typically won't recommend a long entry to my f-list unless it's extremely captivating. (And I try to hold "would I recommend this to people who aren't into LJ Idol" as the standarad of what makes a good entry)

[elvenforever.livejournal.com]

83 comments say you're wrong about that last one. :)

I enjoyed this a lot, and I'm only involved in LJ Idol to the point where I know a number of people who participate (including you) and I vote every chance I get.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Haha yeah I was pleasantly suprirsed by the comments rolling in.

Though about half of them seem to be this conversation about deadlines which I believe stems from a total misinterpretation of something I said (hence the addition of the important note on the last line)

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

Typos happen, but if you happen to use the wrong "your" in the entry...or if it hits one of my hot-button buzz words...then I must vote "no."

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

See I fully fully am aware of the difference, heck I knew the difference in elementary school and never thought it was very complicated, BUT as I note in my entry, sometimes I type homonyms without intending it, and the "your" "you're" thing sometimes occurs. If I notice I make sure to go back and change it because I know that one is a major peeve for most people, but the fact is when I make the mistake it's got absolutely nothing to do with anything other than my fingers doing their own thing d:

[gratefuladdict.livejournal.com]

So I spent half an hour looking for your intersection post with zia_narratora yesterday, to remember the name of the cocktail. And I found this little gem that I somehow missed before.

Can we reinstate Saturday Meta BBQ's on a regular basis??? :D

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Did you find the intersection post?


I keep meaning to do more Saturday Meta BBQs but then Saturday comes around and I sit here thinking hmmm what do I have to say? Did you see my most recent one on drama though? (: