aggienaut: (gavel)
[personal profile] aggienaut
EDIT 2010-11-13 -- I linked to the wrong entry for Season 7, Week 2, "Deconstruction." This should be the correct entry.


   13 people sit at tables arranged like three sides of a square. They are looking grim and serious in their business attire. The one in the center has a gavel set in front of him.
   In the centre of this box sit the three defendants -- Elections Commission Chairman Leathers, Associate Justice Harney, and Chief Justice Fricke.
   Senator Birdsall, a girl with that librarian style look about her, takes the floor and reads the impeachment charges against the defendants. They are more or less a tirade about the Court and Elections Committee running renegade, overstepping their authority, and/or being biased, and of "violating the brown act."
   She finishes her elaborate indictment, the room is silent as all eyes turn to the defendants. We sit patiently waiting for the nod from the Senate President Pro Tem. It comes, and I stand up...





   To be elected as a Senator of the Associated Students of the University of California Davis (ASUCD), one needed several hundred votes. Six were elected in Fall and six in winter, primarily based on popularity, attractiveness (their pictures were always displayed on the voting webpage, attractive girls never failed to be elected), organizational affiliations, and sometimes even merit (probably only to break a tie in all other factors). ASUCD has always been a two party system. There is "Lead," whose members traditionally have all been ethnic minorities from the various [ethnicity]-studies departments; and "Focus," whose members are all involved in the social Fraternities and sports teams. Focus' goal is to shovel more money into the frats and sports teams, while Lead's goal is to pass resolutions on the situation in Palestine.
   ASUCD itself had (in my time) a $9.3 million budget, ran the city buses as well as a number of other business units (radio station, newspaper, largest student-run cafeteria in the country, etc), and so was considered "serious business" by many. Student government itself was a many-headed beast with a separate executive, legislative, & judicial branch. Executive and Legislative each had about half a dozen commissions or comittees under them, totalling probably about 100 people involved in hotly contesting how things should be done.
   To be elected you had to be adored for attributes largely irrelevant to actual qualifications. To be placed on a commission or committee, usually considered the best place to position yourself for future election, you generally had to be in with currently elected officials. To get on the Court you had to by sheer luck or devilish craftiness align a rubric's cube of political interests within the Senate to convince enough of them that you are their man (or woman) to get what they want from the court, while simulteniously their opponents DON'T think that. I kind of fell into that category by sheer luck.

   I came in on the blood of my predecessor, and always assumed my successor would do the same.

   The politics were thick and vicious. You don't know drama until you've known student government. People's jobs are at stake, and they think their futures are too (vis a vis how successful they can claim they were in student government when they write their law school apps). When the cloaks and daggers come to a head it comes to the ASUCD Supreme Court to resolve the issue. Every successful chief justice from other university student government's that I've known has gotten (unsuccessfully) impeached at least once. I've always said you're not doing anything right if you're not getting impeached

   I got placed on the Court, I have on good authority, to get rid of me. I'd been the single individual candidate in the previous election -- 6 Lead candidates wearing catsup red, 6 Focus candidates wearing mustard yellow, and myself. They saw me as a rabble rouser so they put me on the Court because it was a powerless body that hadn't even met in more than a year.

   It so happened that there was a major case shortly after I joined, however. The Lead-appointed Chief Justice and court majority informed us new Focus appointees that we couldn't sit on the case because we were "too new." I pointed out several places in the bylaws that did not allow her to do this but she simply replied "I am the highest authority on the bylaws and this is how I interpret it." They squashed my dissenting opinion on that case, and refused to hear the case I filed against the Chief Justice, but before the month was out she was up for impeachment over it. She resigned that morning and I, after dissenting on every opinion and been the plaintiff in cases agaisnt the court itself, was appointed Chief Justice in her stead.
   My own first impeachment followed a mere two academic months later or so. Focus had realized that wait, though they had liked my dissenting opinion on that last case, they really didn't like having a chief justice that actually ran the court. The vote split along party lines, 7 Focus in favour of impeachment, 4 Lead opposed. If it weren't for the one Focus senator absent I'd have been impeached.

   The very next week my second impeachment came. I think President Sara Henry called it the moment she discovered I had a livejournal and sometimes mentioned LJ in it, but at the hearing, though she appeared with what looked like all of it printed out, she couldn't cite a specific example of me violating my impartiality in it. Some giggles could be heard in the audience when she angrily read a damning quote about hersel but had to admit it was a comment someone else had made when a senator pressed her on it. That impeachment failed miserably, with most of her party not even voting for it. My LJ reached a level of local notoriety such that for awhile I'd often overhear totally random people discussing it.

   In my third year as Chief Justice, a new political party was formed, "Friends Urging Campus Kindness" (or F.U.C.K. if you will), which ran against the system. Joe average disillusioned student was filled with hope that maybe for once there'd be senators that weren't just looking to buy a ridiculous fire truck to shoot burritos in support of their sports games or condemn Israel for the umpteenth time, but do something for joe average student.
   Two Urgers got elected, Sens Roy & Birdsall. Unfortunately, this little chapter in the history of ASUCD ultimately just brought more disillusionment than ever to the student populace -- after filling everyone with hope for Change They Could Believe In, Birdsall and Roy became the biggest apologists for the usual behaviour.
   In the next election, three candidates were found to be ineligible for office once the election occurred -- they were on disciplinary probation for drug violations in the dorms, plagiarism, & allegations of date rape, respectively. When Elections Committee Chair Leathers realized they hadn't been weeded out at the proper time, he filed a Court case against HIMSELF to correct the situation. The Court scrambled to meet as fast as possible (considering all relevant notification requirements) to resolve this. Unfortunately we found ourselves one justice short of quorum. The student government advisor tried to tell everyone that the Court had authority to resolve this anyway, but I wouldn't have it. The solution I came up with was that we would hold the hearing as we ordinarily would, make a decision and write our binding opinion, but seal it in a manila envelope until the Senate had a chance to vote to affirm the legitimacy of our one-less-than-quorum meeting. This way it would be routed through all the proper channels and they'd be affirming or denying the legitimacy of our decision under the "veil of ignorance" as to whether it supported or destroyed their personal desired outcomes.

   Needless to say the Senate did not approve the legitimacy of the meeting. The decision remained in the manilla envelope.

   The Senate then ejected all non-senate personnel from the chambers and held a closed session, at the end of which they had a bill written to retroactively remove the requirement that senate candidates not be on disciplinary probation. Senator Roy claimed this was "the only option" they had.
   At the time I did make a list on the whiteboard of some ten things which would solve the problem and "probably be less violative of the ASUCD constitution," which is admittedly getting more involved than I'd have liked, but this was all a bit ridiculous.

   Incidentally the closed hearing was later found to be a gross violation of the brown act and invalid, by a legitimately occurring Court case, but the minutes for the closed part could never be found because the minute-taker apparently disappeared.

   Chairman Leathers also thought this was ridiculous and refused to certify the election. Without this the Senators technically couldn't be seated, but that technicality didn't seem to daunt the Senate. And so it was that Leathers and I and another justice found ourselves called to Senate for our own impeachment.




   I stood up calmly and looked around the room. I did not mention that the Brown Act, which Birdsall accused us of violating, had never been intended to apply to judicial bodies and her interpretation of it was nonsensical. I didn't argue with any of the rest of her rant either, I'd been through this enough times now (and we all knew they could and would read my counter-arguments on my lj).
   I read two or three lines from the bylaws that noted how subjects of impeachment are supposed to be notified of their impeachments, noted the several ways she had failed to fulfill the requirements, and ended with "this impeachment cannot take place and must immediately disband," then calmly sat down.
   The room was immediately in an uproar as those who had been gunning for the impeachment scrambled to communicate with eachother about what had just happened. The hammering of the gavel brought the confusion to a manageable level and the pro tem announced that they would be moving out of the impeachment and onto the next business.


   The next day Roy and Birdsall announced that they were dissolving and leaving the Friends Urging Campus Kindness party. I was never impeached again and to my surprise ended my career not in an impeachment but living to a ripe old political age and only resigning when I graduated.
   People still ask me what the opinion in the manila envelope contains. It has never been unsealed since that day, and its contents remain a mystery to all but the court.

Date: 2010-03-17 11:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imafarmgirl.livejournal.com
Very Creative take on the topic. Love how you describe everything.

Date: 2010-03-17 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Thanks! (:

Date: 2010-03-17 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] millysdaughter.livejournal.com
This is spectacular, and you managed to interest ***ME*** in the inner workings of student government. Having long ago written it off as a popularity contest, I have largely ignored it throughout the years.

Date: 2010-03-17 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
As you can see, my point is kind of that it WAS a popularity contest, and for those of us in non-elected positions a "stay on the good side of the popularity contest people" contest. But in the end I think it was fun and interesting.

Date: 2010-03-17 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teaberryblue.livejournal.com
Student government at Vassar was lame and didn't really do anything or have a visible role on campus! This reminded me of every college movie about the nerdy kids who try to take back their campus from the frarority people! But my college didn't have any of those; it was like a giant nexus of various social outcasts so we didn't put up with that shit. Anarchy!

Date: 2010-03-17 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Anaaarchy! (:

Yeah F.U.C.K. managed to get everyone excited that maybe the underdogs were actually going to take over... but then they were exactly the same as everyone else once in and everyone became twice as disillusioned.

Date: 2010-03-18 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com
I wasn't interested in student government when I was in college. Bjut you made this interesting.

Date: 2010-03-18 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beautyofgrey.livejournal.com
I think the added stress of SG on top of law school would drive me insane.

But it sounds fun!!! :P

Date: 2010-03-18 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rattsu.livejournal.com
Wow, it makes out student government here look truly lame in comparison!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-03-22 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Yeah I thought it was quite fun. A real test of character it seemed to be too.

Date: 2010-03-18 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
I stayed out of student government in college, but I was the president of an organization whose office was right next to the student government office. So most of my friends were involved in the government. My college on-again-off-again boyfriend was the chief justice of their court division. I just didn't have the heart for the politics of it.

Date: 2010-03-18 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elvenforever.livejournal.com
I enjoyed this so much. My husband Sean was in student government in college and vowed to never get involved in politics again...said it was too corrupting. :)

Date: 2010-03-18 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
It was amazing to see how corrupt people DID behave, considering how little was actually at stake!

Date: 2010-03-18 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elvenforever.livejournal.com
Yeah, that was really quite the story you told. :)

Date: 2010-03-19 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onda-bianca.livejournal.com
Probably one of the more unique takes on the topic this week...and you make me feel like I missed out by not being in student government. Well done!:)

Date: 2010-03-19 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Yeah, a lot of people scoff at it as being a waste of time but I thought it was a lot of fun and a real test of what people's character was really made of.

In addition to the dastardly behaviour sometimes people had an opportunity to show real quality character as well. Jon Leathers, mentioned above, really worked tirelessly to run things right and wasn't afraid to blow the whistle on himself. One of my favourite moments regards two justice appointees. I realized their selection committee had been improperly composed and saw an opportunity to see what they were made of. I pointed out the issue a few minutes beforehand so they'd have at least a few moments to think about it, and then told a senator to ask them about it, this during their questioning before Senate prior to the Senate voting on confirming them. Both justices, without hesitation stated that the bylaws were clear, their selection committee had been improperly composed, they could not be considered lawfully chosen for appointment. They were then confirmed to the positions. :D

Date: 2010-03-19 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
This sounds far too complicated to me. I'm glad I was never involved in student politics of any kind!

Date: 2010-03-20 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmasoup.livejournal.com
Just when you think you can change the face of politics, then you remember it's politics, and the nature of the beast that it is cannot be changed, because you have to become part of the system in order to alter the system, and despite assurances to the contrary, I don't suspect that that has ever happened since time began.

Date: 2010-03-21 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
I like to think there's been the very very rare person who's managed to pull it off, but by and large, usually politics changes people, and not vice versa.

And often it's exactly the people who THINK they're the most "different" from politics as usual who are the worst of all, because they don't see their own faults and think the ends justify the means for themselves.

Date: 2010-03-20 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talon.livejournal.com
Wow, this was a hell of a look at student politics. Serious business indeed...and you were the Chief Justice?

And now you...are a beekeeper? :P

Date: 2010-03-20 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talon.livejournal.com
Also, holy cow, I was curious, and of course you know of it but: http://daviswiki.org/Users/KrisFricke

Date: 2010-03-21 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Ahh yes. I probably should have linked that in the entry (there's a lot of things I'd have linked to but I'm travelling about and didn't have time to muck around with links)

"On 03/10/05 The ASUCD Senate concluded he has jedi powers. Allegedly he caused the ASUCD Senate to think that one of two operative sentences in a bill meant the opposite of what it clearly meant."

Ahh the memories. They actually passed legislation so that myself and the other justices couldn't write legislation because of that. Anyone else, even people who have never been associated with the school at all, can write ASUCD legislation, so myself and the other justices were the only nine people in the world forbidden from writing legislation, and all because the Senate seriously believed if I could I could use jedi trickery to make them pass something they didn't actually want.

Date: 2010-03-21 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Yeah I was the Chief Justice for about four years. It was quite an interesting experience with many other convoluted and scandalous tales of knavery and shenanigans.

Been beekeeping a bit. Just now I'm about to start as the education coordinator on a traditional sailing ship for six months. What I really want to do is international diplomacy (my university degree is in International Relations) so everything I've been up to has been kind of killing time until I manage to finally get my foot in the door at that.

Date: 2010-03-21 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fsk8ing-judge.livejournal.com
This was beyond good, it was riveting. Well done; very well done.

Date: 2010-03-22 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
Aw thanks! (: I was very much aware that discussing student government lends itself extremely well to being utterly boring to all but those who were involved in the specific incidents, so I'm very glad to hear that I may have managed to keep it interesting (:

Date: 2010-11-14 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isis-lives.livejournal.com
Friends Urging Campus Kindness party? Interesting piece, as always.

Date: 2010-11-14 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
yep they were a bunch of fuckers :D

Date: 2010-11-14 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drjeff.livejournal.com
Absolutely awesome, as always.

Date: 2010-11-15 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
Having participated on the fringes of student government myself, I really appreciated this piece.

Date: 2010-11-16 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com
ah, there's a saying that goes something like "do you know why college department meetings are so vicious? Because the stakes are so low."

I have many similar stories about being on the student board for college radio stations. Vicious infighting, largely over whether student should be asked to play new songs or just be allowed to play "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes" over and over again.

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