Near-synonyms

[aggienaut]

I have a deep philosophical question for you. It may cause some soul-searching and perhaps an identity crisis or two.

My recently former flatmate Eric, a native of Taiwan, liked to ask me questions about the difference between near synonyms, like "wreck" and "ruin" or "burst" and "explode." I found it rather entertaining to try to hash out the subtle differences.

I felt I was having difficulty, however, adequately describing the differences between "jerk," "asshole," and "dick." I feel like there's something about it that causes one's boss to be more likely an "asshole" than a mere "jerk," and I think "dick" intends a more intentional inconveniencing of others, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts!

Comments

[perrie.livejournal.com]

Disclaimer: I'm British, our definition of insults tend to vary from American ones.

Jerk seems more incidental to me. If a guy is just acting like an idiot and doing stupid things that irritate me, he's a jerk. Dick and asshole feel more like there's been deliberation behind whatever it is they've done. Like, if I was dating a guy and he cheated on me, he wouldn't just be a jerk, he'd be a dick because he was deliberately slighting me. I'd also be more like to call him a bastard - again, because of the deliberate intent behind whatever he did.

Perhaps asshole is more like consistently mean?

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Hmm that's an interesting idea about "being a jerk" being a more transient condition.

And "bastard" in the states is really reserved more for good natured ribbing of friends I think. We seldom call someone a bastard when we are actually angry at them, reserving more colorful explitives for that. ;)

I think guys who cheat would more likely be called a "douchebag" I think ;)

[nightspore.livejournal.com]

"Fucking bastard" is more serious.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Hmm that's true the addition of "fucking" does turn it into a serious appellation.

[nightspore.livejournal.com]

The creeps/assholes game is a liberating one. Everyone is either a creep or an asshole. It's fun to sit around with friends and figure out, about everyone you know, whether he or she is a creep or an asshole. Since no one is exempt, you don't, you can't, suppress your sense of other people along this dimension.

As I say it's liberating. It would probably be a way of helping to explain the terminology too.

Example: Obama is a creep; Clinton is an asshole.

Ryan and Romney are both creeps. Gingrich is an asshole, as is Michelle Bachman.

Alexander Downer, older brother of a childhood friend of mine, was a creep. I imagine he still is, but your boss would know.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

What a novel game!

[ilovegravy.livejournal.com]

I have thought about this very topic before!

It's always fun to see what other people think about subjective stuff like this. For myself, even though I can understand "jerk" being the least offensive/harsh, I kind of use it for those who I feel are inconsiderate/mean on a regular basis and are just like that always--that's a poor explanation, but basically, I feel like "once a jerk, always a jerk", while I feel someone can be an asshole or dick SOMETIMES but not be branded that for the rest of/in all aspects of their life. To me, a "dick" is someone who is doing something selfishly that hurts/inconveniences someone else; sometimes they can be unaware of their actions, but often they are aware that it affects others negatively, but still do it anyway. An "asshole" is someone who is rude/mean for reasons unknown, but their behavior comes off as entirely unnecessary (while a "dick" I can understand their reasoning, albeit still dick-ish).

These are just definitions I came up with off the top of my head, so I can't be sure if this is how I apply these terms always, haha but it was interesting to try and flesh them out!!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

See, this is very interesting, because I think my feelings about these words in many ways runs opposite to yours! I kind of feel a "dick" is someone who is inconveniencing others on purpose because it actually gives them pleasure to see someone else inconvenienced, and I kind of feel jerk is more a potentially transient condition where someone might be an asshole because they're often a jerk!

[gildedage.livejournal.com]

jerk: someone who is mean and unhelpful, but doesn't really matter to you. "that cashier was such a jerk."

asshole: someone who is mean and unreasonable, often who matters more/has more power than you. "the boss is such an asshole."

dick: someone who is mean in a personal way. "my ex-boyfriend is such a dick."

[gabbygrl.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, my ex-girlfriend is more of an asshole than a dick, and not just because she only has one of those physical features-- but because, by your definition, there is a lot more "unreasonable" in her meanness, and it's weirdly impersonal given our close association.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Interesting! I think you might be on to sometihng about this difference depending on how they matter to you.

[gabbygrl.livejournal.com]

This is just to say I ADORE nuances like these. I've always had a feel for them, even more than a lot of people with whom I share a native language. So this was a fun question for me to try and puzzle out!

To me, "dick" and "jerk" are a lot the same, only different in severity ("dick" being worse than "jerk", but defining the same types of negative behavior just because they are possible). IMPORTANT: "dick" and "jerk" may be temporary, and they may be playfully bestowed upon someone whose practical jokes may be about to cross a line. "Asshole" is ALWAYS a character judgement, permanent and immutable, based on more than one action. An "asshole" doesn't just annoy or offend, s/he personally disrupts your life.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yeah they're fun aren't they? This former flatmate of mine would always come up with his questions at random times, usually starting with such a serious "hey can I ask you something" that I'm expecting some life-changing question, and then he breaks out a question about two synonyms so nearly identical that I'm shocked someone would even need to differentiate between them. And then I bravely dive in to find a difference!

Also I think your above definition is right in line with how I feel about the words.