Writing Frenzy!

[aggienaut]

   I have discovered the scariest thing about Australia. Something far more terrifying than drop bears, hubcap sized spiders, and snakes that kill you by looking at you! But I'll get to that in a moment.

   I've been doing a lot of writing and thinking about writing lately. It kind of reminds me, I used to try to write a blog post every day for all thirty days of June and what I liked most about it is find there's a clear difference between being "in the zone" and not being. Once you're in the zone you're always thinking of writing ideas, you can't wait to get home and sit down and write about one of the ideas you've been thinking about all day. When you're not in the zone you have something you want to write for some reason or other but its hard to come up with ideas, hard to make yourself sit and have at it.

   I submitted three submissions for the Geelong writing club yearly anthology last week. One of their categories is "memoir" which at first I felt hard to wrap my brain around the definitions thereof but I've since decided I really quite like it. I turned a previous self-introduction from my time slaving away in the steamy bee mines of the Bundaberg Archipelago into a memoir of that time, and in the final hours before the deadline basically rewrote the bit about being surrounded by ebola in Guinea -- I had been trying to expand the very short piece I had written for a previous contest's very short requirements, but just jamming new paragraphs in the middle was simply not working. Rewriting the whole thing allowed me to integrate the parts I liked smoothly with new parts. And then in the last half hour before the deadline I made some quick fixes to a very short story I had written about a ghost and sent it in for their short story category because why not.

   Somewhere in all this I had what felt a bit like a revelation. I basically used the same exact skills and techniques to write my memoirs as I've been using on travelogues, and indeed they could be both, and indeed, I quite rather suspect, that when truly well written a travelogue and a memoir should be indistinguishable! (EVEN if in your memoir you didn't "travel," as I've been exploring with some previous entries about traveloguing about one's home environs)


And here's an entirely unrelated photo of Hokea laurina. I feel like maybe I should crop this photo closer but I like the leafy background.

   Now, most of my stories are "genre fiction" -- Historical fiction, science fiction, zombies, etc, and the Geelong Writing Club previous anthologies seemed to contain absolutely none of this, which is why the ghost story was the best I could come up with. BUT, then I happened to notice the closest university to me, Deakin, had a literary journal, with the deadline a week hence (which was/is today). I haven't read their back issues, but I figure university students will be much more receptive to genre fiction than the older demographic of the Geelong club. On any account, it's what I'm serving them up!

   And the most amazing thing, instead of writing it all the last day (again, today), on Thursday I reprocessed some 6,000 words of previously written stories (who writes new ones for contests, psh). I've repolished and intend to submit later today (1) the historical fiction about the origin of the largest preserved viking poop; (2) the prologue zombie apocalypse story "patient zero;" (3) the story about a swarm of bees finding a new home as told from the perspective of a bee. So now it's the day of the deadline and I'm just sitting pretty here. Except I have one burning question I would like to ask you if any of you could be bothered to read the story -- it begins with him cursing, and rereading it I was like oh I should say what curses he's actually saying, and then, I was like, well, duh, obviously, he should be saying "shit" or "crap" or something ... but then I was starting to wonder would that actually be TOO many excretory references in the story??

   It was interesting trying to adjust these stories for Australian readers. Patient Zero was, in the previous draft, explicitly set in Newport Beach California (when not in Congo) -- I deleted Newport Beach references but, like, a car knocks over a firehydrant and shoots up a fountain of water, but at least in my current vicinity, there actually AREN'T standing firehydrants, the fire brigade carries the above-ground portion of the hydrant on the truck and screws it in on arrival. And in the honeybee story there are squirrels, there are no squirrels in Australia but I decided to leave them. A character is eating a burrito from the Del Taco 99 cent menu, which might seem thoroughly implausible here where the cheapest of the cheap horrible awful fast food will run like $7. But any such adjustments were nothing compared to...


Horror of Horrors
   And then I noticed a peculiar thing. Both this and the other writing contest had had "Australian style rules, singular quotations" written in the submission guidelines. And I was like.. surely they can't mean... oh god they do! It TURNS OUT, Australia has some giant national beef with "double quotation marks," that's right official Australian style calls for 'single quotations.' And not only that, but, brain-bendingly, for punctuation to be 'outside the quotation marks', unless the quote is a full sentence whereupon 'the punctuation mark is placed inside the quotation marks.' In reworking my stories to fit "Australian style" I mean 'Australian style' guidelines, I found myself particularly perplexed about when the punctuation goes in the quotation marks, and when it does not, as sometimes it's a full sentence in the quotes but also part of the outside sentence. So if you're conversant with this bizarre style standard feel free to point out places in my stories where it can be fixed.

   Additionally, I assume you're all on the correct side of the moral schism about the oxford comma, which is that it is ordained from on high by the holiest as holies as a true necessity for life. Well official Aus style is AGAINST the oxford comma ::weeps in despair::, but, because it is a well and truly necessary part of the circle of life the guidelines do allow it when it is necessary for clarity. I picture here an oxford comma melodramatically exclaiming "oh, when you NEED me now you want me, I see how it is!"




Next on the Agenda
   Also I've managed to get on some mailing lists or something, I don't know, writing contest and journal submission opportunities are just falling in my lap left and right. It came to my attention yesterday that there's a $10,000 ( O: O: O: O: ) prize up for three chapters of a novel. I suspect serious circles are still looking down their collective noses at zombies as an overdone crap genre of the hoipolloi but well I've already got a first chapter and sketched out ideas for the rest of a novel and I really quite fancy I have enough deeper themes I intend to jam in there to make it worthwhile. Hey Dracula and Frankenstein are "monster genre" classics, zombies need their own (and don't give me that World War Z crap, that's just our crap baseline).


   And speaking of crap, here's a question that occurred to me as I contemplated the cursing at the beginning of the viking story -- are crap and shit entirely interchangeable? Do they have subtle nuances between them? why do we even have two words with the exact same meaning. [edit to add: in the category of unnecessary amount of background effort that will never be noticed, because the characters are presumably speaking proto-Norwegian/Swedish, I suppose I should use shit because skit means the same thing in Swedish but I'm not aware of a crap equivalent in THEIR language]

Comments

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

Who decides on "official Australian style"? Is there a national literary style-setting agency? The Aussiephone?

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Not sure. Though it reminds me of how Webster intentionally changed spelling in his dictionary to make a distinctively American set of spellings. I think enough confusing regional variations develop entirely naturally without having to purposefully invent them!

I'll kind of jokingly get on a soap box frequently but really I find this style irksome and tedious. Now I'm wondering which style corresponds more with usages in entirely other languages.

[wpadmirer.livejournal.com]

First, I love those weird flowers.

Secondly, Australians are freaking freaks with their punctuation! WTF?!

Thirdly, I will read your stories, but not tonight. It's very late here.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yeah the flowers and bush were like common bottlebrush bushes but the flowers were perfectly round! I've never seen that before. There's another similar bush here but in that case the flowers come out of big versions of teh standard eucalyptus "bells" (when I was young my brothers and I called these things bells, I was shocked to come here nad learn they're referred to by the much more in-apt seeming "gum nut")

And yeah I really can't get behind this punctuation! Especially since I don't know how to actually make a single quotation mark! Sure I can use the apostrophe but that's not got the same curve as a real 'quotation mark' (single quotes used ironically here ;D )

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

The great thing about English IS the subtle differences between words that have the same literal meaning!

Shit - the classic, the most offensive but also, strangely, more upper class than the others. It's more authentic. My daughter thinks that "shit" indicates more anger and disdain, while "crap" is more dismissive.
Crap - cuter, but more vulgar.
Poop - cuter still. A baby word.
Turds - even more offensive because more visual!

I didn't know you were so versatile as a writer! Then I want to recommend these novels to you: The Bees, which is actually about a bunch of anthropomorphized bees; The Girl with the Gifts, zombie-ish disease post apocalypse story; The Passage, post-post apocalypse trilogy. These are all books I really liked.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Haha thanks for your subtle nuance breakdown!

Funny, I've always thought of "turd" as the least offensive / most silly!!

I think on further contemplation "shit" is the clear choice since it's the one derived from scandinavian (I looked up the etymology of crap and it's actually a really recent like late-19th-center development!). The other problem is I feel like starting a story with a profanity is like going the shock jock route like, I've read people stories where they're just like from the get go my story is gonna be borderline offensive! And I don't want to seem like I'm trying to do that or set even a super edgy tone... I mean it's really a pretty mild story for being a story about crap ;D

And then I'm not sure exactly how to execute it. Will it be "shit, these shoes are really shit, my feel are getting shit-damp?" (the funny thing about being aware of the scandinavian origins of the language in the story is that I DO speak swedish and they DO say things are "shit-cold" and "shit-hot" and "shit-X" all the time ;D

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

I haven't read your Viking poo story in a while, but I liked the way it starts with the word which ends up being the theme of the whole story.

My favorite story about the Swedish propensity for saying shit was when I quizzed Ola B. about the usage of 'shit' as a modifier of descriptive words. He assured me that, if you were complimenting a dinnner, you would say it was " shit godt." If you were describing a hot car, it was "shit fast." Finally, I asked, "What would your grandma say, for example, about a tasty cake?"

Ola nodded his head. She would say it was "shit godt."

If Grandma would say it, I was convinced. However, I never quite got to that point myself. Old habits die hard.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Oh and thanks for the book recs! They sound interesting!!

[lookfar.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I loved The Bees, and I loved how the author solved the problems of anthropomorphizing them while retaining a lot of actual bee behavior, but by the same token, my son disliked that and found it intrusive. For instance, the author allows her bees to have facial expressions, which, yah, bees do not, but she also allows them to communicate by scent, which I think they do. And she gives them feelings and thoughts, which they don't have, but the thoughts are about things like the bee caste system and the secret way queens are made, the wintering over process and the bee nursery and royal jelly, stuff like that. It's also, BeeTW, a sort of dystopian novel. In a hive.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

BeeTW lol!

Yeah in my story I try to run a delicate balance with the anthropomorphizing (:

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Those Aussie rules sound like a formalisation of common British usage. Double quotes for dialogue, single quotes for quotations. Punctuation outside the speech marks (and outside brackets) if the quote (or parentheses) complete the previous part of the sentence, but inside if they contain a full sentence in their own right. And the Oxford comma is just a distraction that breaks up the flow of a sentence. Commas should only be used in narrative when they are required to clarify the meaning of the sentence. *g* Common sense really *g*

I recognise your comment about 'being in the zone'. Personally I am very aware that I am prevaricating and using 'being busy' as an excuse for not getting back into that zone.

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Well here's where it becomes more than just a minor annoyance. I don't know how THEY do it, but I don't know how to make a single quotation mark. Yes I can put the 'apostrohpe' up there, but it doesn't auto curve towards teh quote the way quotation marks do and Australian documents made by other people do, so I need to figure out where they're hiding this thing! (you'll see it curving correctly in my linked writings only because I very painstakingly manually cut pasted the properly curved ones from documents I could fnid that had them. Argh!)

And not quite like you summarized in your comment, it's not "double quotes for dialogue" it's double quotes only for quotes appearing within quotes, ie the reverse of the American way. Now I'm curious which style normal practices in French, German, Russian, etc more resemble.

[spikesgirl58.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your submission, single and/or double quotes and all.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Those are some crazy rules.

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

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[jaiden-s.livejournal.com]

That punctuation thing would send me over the edge.

And I'd never really thought about crap vs. shit. I use them interchangeably, for the most part.

[maju01.livejournal.com]

Being Australian I'm pretty familiar with how to use punctuation with quotations marks and actually find the American way bizarre and jarring. However, I am not familiar with single quotes where an American would use double. I am also a big fan of the Oxford comma. I think the rules about single vs double quotes and Oxford commas must have changed since I was learning them in school.

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

I hate style sheets. And it's all so stupid. If a sentence is well-written and clear and has all basic punctuation in place, why ask for more twisted ways?
(Retired English and Spanish teacher here with many courses in composition under her non-existent belt.)Some rules must be observed obviously but why can't all writing in English have universal rules?

Good luck with it all!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Yeah I think, while language is bound to develop regional variations, why intentionally make them different. And Yeah as long as a writer is internally consistent and understandable ... I mean apparently I've been reading things written in Australian style for two years without actually NOTICING that they use a single quote every time. Or I feel like I vaguely noticed it had a more offhand feel that it gets from what to me was a barely noticed perception of slapdash quotation usage.

In one of my stories almost every other paragraph is past tense while the others are present, and I would love to just give the past ones all an extra indent or something, which would help with clarity... but wouldprobably be "against the rules"

[pundigrion.livejournal.com]

So, I am 100% on-board with the punctuation being outside the quotation marks unless it is a full sentence. I learned the same thing in school. Not using the Oxford comma though?! Shock! Horrors!

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

I just feel like in the most common occurrence, a comma and continuation with something like "he said," if the comma is outside the quotes it makes a weird space between the end of the word and the quotation mark. :-/

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

I've advised my (fourth grade) students in writing classes, that if they're confused, to take another book and follow the pattern there. Harry Potter books are great for dialogue. If you check with Harry Potter, you will see that dialogue is punctuated thusly: (Regarding Harry's owl)
"She's bored," she said. "She's used to flying around outside. If I could just let her out at night--"

From the Hardy Boys:
"A warning did come to Dad," Frank admitted.

And then I referred to Commodore Hornblower.
"You are an officer of long service, I believe, Commodore?" said Alexander.

So far, so good. All were published in the US.

But then...BUT THEN...
I turned to Tolkien.
'Up we go!' said Merry joyfully. 'Now for a breath of air, and a sight of the land!'

And speaking of Commodores, in the book by the same name by Patrick O'Brien, the very same SINGLE QUOTATION marks appear again!

Bottom line: You've been reading British standard punctuation for a long time without noticing it. AND the standard punctuation of a bit of dialogue set off by a comma and then quote(s) is also part of your vast experience.

(Though I now see what you mean about the cute little one-armed British quotation mark. Maybe they have special British/Australian keyboards.)

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

What punctuation do you mean to say you find in O'brien's Commodore?

My understanding of the Australian rules are that, if those books had been published according to them the referenced quotes would be adjusted thusly:

'She's bored', she said. 'She's used to ... at night--'

'A warning did come to dad', Frank admitted

As I commened to someone else, I feel the comma on the far side of the quote leaves an awkward looking space.

[furzicle.livejournal.com]

And so it does look that way...to us. On the other hand, the person judging the entries must be pleased.