Resistentialism

[aggienaut]

   So early in the afternoon Shalane and I set off to take Mike tHH to jail in Orange.
   Then we went looking for this place the cobbler called "craft-fors" that was at McFadden and Harbour and supposedly had cheap docs. Well we get there and find a "crawfords," but there waren't no docs there. So I bought shoelaces instead.
   Then Shillelagh's friend (future roommate) Lori made us food while we watched the only segment of Pulp Fiction we'd both seen already*.
   Then them kids shleffed their stuff into their new apartment while I bollocksed about with Megan. The end.


*I think this is a good example of resistenialism, the theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us. [from Latin res (thing) + French resister (to resist) + existentialism (a kind of philosophy).]

From 'Report on Resistentialism' by Paul Jennings
   "A convenient point of departure is provided by the famous Clark-Trimble experiments of 1935. Clark-Trimble was not primarily a physicist, and his great discovery of the Graduated Hostility of Things was made almost accidentally. During some research into the relation between periods of the day and human bad temper, Clark-Trimble, a leading Cambridge psychologist, came to the conclusion that low human dynamics in the early morning could not sufficiently explain the apparent hostility of Things at the breakfast table - the way honey gets between the fingers, the unfoldability of news-papers, etc. In the experiments which finally confirmed him in this view, and which he demonstrated before the Royal Society in London, Clark-Trimble arranged four hundred pieces of carpet in ascending degrees of quality, from coarse matting to priceless Chinese silk. Pieces of toast and marmalade, graded, weighed, and measured, were then dropped on each piece of carpet, and the marmalade-downwards incidence was statistically analysed. The toast fell right-side-up every time on the cheap carpet, except when the cheap carpet was screened from the rest (in which case the toast didn’t know that Clark-Trimble had other and better carpets), and it fell marmalade-downwards every time on the Chinese silk. Most remarkable of all, the marmalade-downwards incidence for the intermediate grades was found to vary exactly with the quality of carpet.
   The success of these experiments naturally switched Clark-Trimble’s attention to further research on resistentia, a fact which was directly responsible for the tragic and sudden end to his career when he trod on a garden rake at the Cambridge School of Agronomy. In the meantime, Noys and Crangenbacker had been doing some notable work in America. Noys carried out literally thousands of experiments, in which subjects of all ages and sexes, sitting in chairs of every conceivable kind, dropped various kinds of pencils. In only three cases did the pencil come to rest within easy reach. Crangenbacker’s work in the social-industrial field, on the relation of human willpower to specific problems such as whether a train or subway will stop with the door opposite you on a crowded platform, or whether there will be a mail box anywhere on your side of the street, was attracting much attention."


Today in Civ 3
   In the year 1275 we launched our first Man-of-War, the Rhadamanthine, from the town of Bilgewater.
   The technological superiority cycle continues with great success; 47% of total state revenue now comes from other states paying to be taught our Blehtesque science (369 gold), and 66% of the Blehtite budget goes to science.
   In other news, most of the world is now at war with the French, and I've captured all the Zulu Russian possessions. They've finally created knights, but now I have dragoons (cavalry), muahaha.


Related
   A Year Ago Today: Talking about fictitious governments.
   Shalane's Entry For Today