The Agrinautica

   So I've been in Amsterdam for several hours now and... well I'm still alive, but only after thinking "fuck you Amsterdam fuck you Amsterdam I hate you Amsterdam I'm never coming back why am I even here" a lot.

   Everything was going smoothly up until about 7am. My flight came in around 0530, passport control took less than five minutes and I was out in the "Shiphol Plaza" unsecured part of the airport. Got my first real coffee in two weeks (they only drink nescafe instant coffee in Nigeria, just like the middle east), though my regular coffee from starbucks cost 2.80 euros, ($3.76!! for plain coffee!). But was able to connect to the airport wifi and find a pretty cheap hotel (for the equivalent of $30!) that as I'd find out three hours later is totally nice!!
   So then at 0700 the tourist information kiosk opened and I bought a guidebook there and asked if they could explain anything I needed to know about the directions I had written down about how to get to the hotel. The girl there told me it was better to take the 192 bus (than the sprinter tram the internet had told me) and where to catch it.
   So I wait half an hour for the bus and then look at the digital display and see that the 192 bus isn't even ON the display, which covers at least the next half hour.
   So I go back into the airport, inquire at the train information kiosk. They send me to the train ticket sales window. I ask them what I need to get where I'm going and they tell me I should get a 24 hour pass which I can get AT THE TOURIST INFORMATION KIOSK.
   So I go back to the girls at the tourist information kiosk and they say I should go to the automated ticket vending machines for the pass. I go to the automated ticket vending machine and even on English mode everything is listed in cryptic options such as "deluxe" "standard" "full fare" and with destinations that I have no idea how they relate to where I'm trying to go. I do my best to push the buttons I think are appropriate and it wants to sell me a 48 euro ticket ($64.54!)!!!
   I go back out to the bus stops but there's still no sign of bus 192. I go back to the train information kiosk, they send me to the train ticket sales counter again, and this time I get a ticket for the train the internet had originally told me to take.
   I go down to the train station (directly under the terminal), but no train is labeled "sprinter" and once again the destinations listed are things whose relation to my desination I cannot decipher. Can't even find my destination listed on the route map, or for that matter a label saying which line is "sprinter."
   After watching a few trains go by hoping for some clues I return upstairs to the train information kiosk. She says "train number 2 in 2 minutes!" I ask what track and what it'll look like and she just repeats what she just said.
   So I go back down there and a train just like all the others rolls in but it says 2 on the side, so I jump on it and hope it's the right one. It's about 09:24 by now.
   From their the trip proceeded smoothly again. At the train station they were able to give me simple clear instructions for the bus I needed and the bus driver was also very helpful.
   But for a good two and a half hours there I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to leave the airport!! ): I kind of wanted to kill myself or break down and weep.

   My room in this hotel is pretty nice. I'm gonna sit here and recover from my harrowing morning for a few more minutes before I start thinking about venturing into the city. d:


I long ago stopped adding "current music" to entries but for this entry I'm putting Crooked Fingers - You Can Never Leave d: