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So one night Fishis was working at the Diedrichs Coffee in the Irvine Spectrum Centre with Bob, the androgenous manager.
And Bob says sweep.
Damn it
Okay so she sweeps. And then in comes Alfredo, whom always comes to the café, usually right after visiting Amsterdam's Coffee Shop and various OTHER Diedrich's. And he has MiniAlfredo with him, also known as Todd. Yeah and Todd is jailbait who is into older women and her friends, and tells them odd ways to get his number, but more on that later.
Anyway so Fishis asks them to hang out with her and they are skeptical because Fishis looks like bad news. She looks like one of those girls that is gonna end up getting them wanted by interpol AND the mafia and eventually they'd wake up with headaches in Utah wearing "hello my name is.." name tags, without being able to remember how they got there or what happened to the cheese danishes they had.
So of course they say yea.
And then it goes downhill from there.
So they went to hang out the very next day. Alfredo and Todd brought their friends Krisis and Rick along, a girl named Laura, and a pile of her friends. But Laura’s friends mostly kept to themselves and eventually ceased to exist on account of no one really noticing them.
And then Todd did resent Krisis. Because later on him and Fishis is chatting it up.
Suddenly, in the midst of Todd’s resentment, a giant levitating fish nonchalantly emerged from the nearby mists of fountain, and did tell young Todd to get over it because everyone knows that any girl within his proximity is destined to like Alfredo. But young Todd still wants to give it a shot, so superfish rolls its eyes and flies away.
Elsewhere in the Spectrum, that glorious centre of human civilization that shines like a beacon in the centre of otherwise apathetic Orange County, someone looks into the air and exclaims "its a herring! its a cod! I don't know but its a large levitating fish with a cape!"
And at that moment Superfish winked at that noble person, and they did faint and fall into the west-side fountain. Upon them Fishis later trips up when she runs through that fountain, but Alfredo does not cause he only pretended to wade through the fountain, and neither does Krisis for at that time he was sitting atop an ATM machine, but this all comes later.
Back to our previous line of chronologic progression, however; Alfredo was going on his fourth Triple-espresso, and falling in love with the illusive Diedrich’s employee named "Kzat," who in turn was daydreaming about her eternal love for Jordan. And Kzat, dreaming of her lost love Jordan, was so distracted that she gave espresso-crazed Alfredo a cup of tea for free. This, however, clinched his love for her and caused him to swear a vow of eternal love for her.
Just as the situation looked like it couldn't get any more wack: as Alfredo sipped his tea and pined after Kzat, and Kzat waited on a fat man named Bubba while dreaming of Jordan, Krisis and Fishis chatted happily about their mutual love of cheese danishes, and Todd plotted cruel revenge on Krisis for stealing his woman...
...some nearby shrubbery burst into flame, distracting all! ...well not Alfredo, he went on pining. But all others stood aghast. And Todd stood up and started to scream, a shrill girly scream. Soon the shrubbery was all burnt up. And Fishies started weeping: “that was my favourite shrubbery!” she did exclaim. And before the hallowed lion statues which have long stood beside the food court there was soon naught but ash.
Fortunately, a shrubber happened along. All rejoiced as he set about reshrubbing, and Fishis started to fall in love. In the ensuing confusion young Todd did tell Fishis’ friend Summer to get his number in a peculiar way. And that caused much controversy, and much confusion. So Fishis fell in love with the shrubber, and Summer fell in love with Fishis, but then quickly fell out of love. She listened to superfish; she heard his voice from a distance, as in a dream. But young Todd did continue to love Fishis, and Todd was very immature being jailbait and all. ...Alberto loved Kzat and Kzat loved Jordan. And Krisis, he loved cheese danishes.
But then the ground did tremble and the vile beast Molzy appeared, with an insatiable appetite for men. And all did tremble. Especially Rick, whom she referred to as “grade A meat.” And then they did flee from the evil wench Molzy.
While in exile at the other end of the Spectrum they were, there was running through fountains, and sittings on ATM machines.
Eventually, from that place, that glorious beacon, the Spectrum, which outshines The Block in Orange in all ways save possession of a Krispy Kremes, our noble adventurers did leave.. and went on for further adventures which you'll hear about later, but not before their nightly trip to Taco Loco, where Rastafarians fed Krisis and Alfredo nachos with shrooms. And it is now a matter of debate as to whether the hallucinations Alfredo had all night thereafter were resultant of his dozen triple espressos, the Rastafarian shroom nachos, or his excessive and unsatiated love for Kzat.
Following Day: The Exciting Adventures of Spiridonovic Johnny Alfronzo