So Todd calls Fishis and is like “hey you still up for hanging out?” And Fishes replies: "pshyeah," and they begin to make plots for the night.
Meanwhile, in a secret underground bunker, Krisis and Alfredo are making plans; a large map of the world in front of them on a table and little pieces representing vast armies. Actually it somewhat resembled a game of Diplomacy (© Hasbro Inc). And they were like "hmm." Eventually, after much plotting and the drawing of several diagrams, they decided they were going to go to this one party in the heck of nowhere with MiniAlfredo and Fishes, so they called young Todd, known as MiniAlfredo. Alas, Todd was like "dammit, no, I'm keeping her to myself, dammit."
And they were like "qua??" and tried to reason with the wayward lad. Sadly wayward, he spake thus: "Fishes and I are going to this one party, ‘cause I owe it to this guy who owes it to another guy." And the party he intended to attend was a Lame Bando Party (LBP). Alfredo and Krisis were like "damn you and your high school politics," (which are not nearly as advanced as college politics, which often involves being ambushed by calpirg activists and being intimidated by red-armband-wearing anarchist hordes).
Krisis and Alfredo looked at their map of the world, moved about a few army pieces, and pondered what to do next, resolving that forthwith Alfredo should go unto Todd's suburban hut and bring him to the Spectrum Diedrichs, whereupon at that time Fishis was no doubt mopping valiantly whilst singing along to Flogging Molly.
And so from that place, the secret bunker, Alfredo did resolutely depart, and he did speed at 40 down the suburban meanders in his white eclipse, and transport Todd to the Irvine Spectrum, glorious and renowned, that beacon in which Fishis did work.
He arrived there and was like "so yeah um this party um didn't work out but we have some other parties in mind," just like that.
There then was a period of peace. The various relevant entities did get ready and take their time. Alfredo did eat with his folkses. Fishis did serve coffee to various intrepid customers. Eventually the time for partying arose, and Alfredo, MiniAlfredo, and Krisis boldly set out for Fishes'.
In due course, so they arrived at Fishes’ chateau. Fishis was wearing a skirt, and Krisis approved. Yeah, but she later changed due to thoughts of the weather and comfortness.
Alas Krisis' powerful and magic cell phone did tell him that the far-away party had been cancelled. So from various locations and orifices they all did produce their own cell phones forthwith, and they all did call their people.
At last Alfredo instructed MiniAlfredo to call Bessie, Alfredo's dear ex, and try to get invited to the party she was at. For it was this party that Alfredo and Krisis had attended last year with very interesting result. But we won't discuss what Dustin may or may not have been involved in. Alas Bessie was like "dude, I can't get you invited to this party" and all were like "damn." So Fishes called Elizabeth, her sister. And her sister did say "hey, Fishes, dear sister, come down here to Downey, we can drink and be merry" And so our valiant protagonists did resolve to do so and happily they set out to In-N-Out for it was well nigh 11. And they had the craving.
But suddenly Alfredo was alarmed, in fact distressed. "Does something smell of dog shat? Is there not a reek of canine excrement herein??" he did exclaim. And forthwith he stopped the car, not more than a block from Chateau Fishes. Alfredo caused all to exit the car and thoroughly investigate the condition of their feet, forthwith was it discovered that not only did Todd suffer the curs'd foot, he had indeed stepped upon the seat.
Alfredo was duly traumatized. He halted all progress until his seat had been thoroughly purged, and Todd felt fraught with shame and exclaimed to Krisis that he felt that all chance with his love Fishes had been lost, and was like "you can have her Krisis, she is lost to me now," and Krisis nobly was like "nonsense young Todd." And Fishes did say to Alfredo that she just wanted to be friends with everyone, and they did resume their quest for In-N-Out. And they did partake of In-N-Out, most glorious of all fast food establishments.
Suddenly, Bessie did call them back, and was all "uhh.. so.. yea, turns out you ARE invited to the party," and they did roll their eyes and were like "dammit." But Laguna Beach, questionable thorp that it is, was far far away, such that they'd have to make haste like never before. But alas Alfredo was driving, so they sped down The Five, that glorious artery of adventure, at the mighty speed of 59.
Presently it was 11:57pm, but the car clock did say 11:59, Krisis' watch said 11:56, Alfredo's: 11:58; and there was general confusion. Among the ritzy restaurants of downtown Laguna at that time they traveled, and therein many were a making merry. So they stopped in and stole pie, and were like "wee its midnight!"
The significantly-better-dressed-patrons did give them very odd looks, so they quickly stole back to the Alfredo-mobile, with cheesecake in hand, and thereupon sped off. All were immediately consumed by cell phone conversations, except for young Todd, and he was sad. Alfredo was on the phone with his folkses, and tried to keep it on the down-low that he was driving at the time, when suddenly from the back Fishes was heard speaking loudly into her phone "we're in a car right now!!" And there was some awkwardness for comrade Alfredo.
And they sped off into the night, off to the party. And presently they did arrive at that bourgeoisie seaside walled village known as Three Arch, home of Reynold. And from in the premises did play odious music which in no way resembled Tiger Army, Flogging Molly or anything else good and pleasant. Indeed it could even be termed “pop.”
But our noble heroes did enter Reynolds famous cottage anyway, though glancing at eachother skeptically. It was here that Alfredo and Krises had partied exactly one year previous, so some memories of that infamous night did resound.
Upon entering they were beset by inebriated rich kids whom had already drunk much of the alcohol. Thus a lack of supply was felt on arrival. And Dustin was very abundant himself. Fishes was scared; these were not her kinds of people. Dustin was wearing a cowboy shirt of some kind, yet dared he to question what brave Krisis was wearing; and we all know there's nothing wrong with suspenders. He even did ask Fishis if she smelt. What a jackass.
Presently though, Krisis’ paternal unit did call, and Krisis was thus informed that his older and eviler, indeed troll-like, sibling had been mugged and left barely conscious in a snowbank in Estonia. Though of rather nefarious repute the person in question was, still Krisis was shocked to hear such news.
And Fishes’ sister did call and invited Fishis and her comrades once again to her party. And Krisis was all for going to that party once again, yet Alfredo was bonding with Dustin and wished to remain interminably; and MiniAlfredo was meek as to any opposition to Alfredo and wanted nothing but to seduce Fishis, something he’d been plotting since he met her.
Silly boy.
And so they remained at the party and Alfredo bonded with Dustin, and outside the cottage Todd and Fishes sat and talked. For a time Krisis there joined them to escape the party, but with eyes of flame Todd gave him mean looks, consequently Krisis returned to the party.
Presently, though, it came to pass that our four main characters were standing together when it should occur that Alfredo and MiniAlfredo went off to talk, though there are allegations that MiniAlfredo, being naught but a wee High School lad, actually set out to puke his brains out.
Fishes and Krisis did retreat to walk and talk on the beach. Returning to see them leaving, Todd did endeavor vehemently to strike Krisis down with lightning, and caste him down down the darkened pit of Tartarus; but to no avail. And he longed for Fishes’ touch as Krisis and Fishis descended the narrow steps down down the darkened gully to the beach, Three Arch beach. Fishes almost fell numerous times on those infamous uneven steps of such dubious happenings in parties past.
But Krisis and Fishes were indeed guided by the guiding hand of Rohulgatoiux, the Spork God of Fate and The Way Things Should Be. Presently they were walking along the moonlit sands of Three Arch bay, surrounded by rocky cliffs on all sides save the shining sea. And in these cliffs there were three arches. And they talked of Todd and Alfredo, and how Fishis felt about them; she was much confused. Krisis himself did talk as well of his own misadventures and discontentments.
And he talked of a girl, and Fishis did ponder, and Krisis did wonder what Fishis did ponder. She wasn’t sure on her feelings for Krisis, and was disappointed with the news about this girl.
So Fishis and Krisis then had wild monkey sex on the beach for the next four hours.
Just kidding.
Presently, though, the time came for Krisis and Fishes to return up that winding uneven stairway up the cliffs, and at the top of the path they came across Alfredo, Bessie, and Todd, talking. And Todd looked very depressed, so Fishes thereupon went with Todd in the opposite direction into the twisting village streets to have conversation with him. And Krisis was a bit shocked at this unexpected event. Then Alfredo and his dear ex Bessie ventured off into the darkness down to the beach themselves. And Krisis was a bit shocked at this unexpected event.
And Krisis, feeling full of zen was rather unconcerned. So while all his compatriots were off being sociable, Krisis wandered aimlessly. Others at the party were inside dancing drunkenly to bad music. Krisis got himself some certain beverages-- solely for to have something in his hand, for otherwise one would look quite out of place --and sat on the balcony looking out at the rolling dark sea.
Presently, a 30-year-old chick came and talked to Krisis and told him the world needed more people like him or something, because he was out there being thoughtful. She must have been hella drunk.
As she departed Reynold himself came out and commented "you are a sick sick individual Krisis;" insinuating untowards relations with the 30-year-old chick.
Shortly, Todd and Fishes returned, yet Bessie and Alfredo were gone yet longer. Todd was gravely concerned about what they might be doing. Fishes speculated that Alfredo was having relations with her, and Fishes and Krisis did tease Todd on the subject, and they did allege mightily that Bessie and Alfredo were eating clam and exploding sausage, and were starting to convince him of this when who should rise up from the darkness like satan himself but Alfredo, and his dear ex Bessie - buttoning their clothes back up.
Fishes compelled Todd to enter into a bet with her as to whether or not Alfredo and Bessie were milking the sausage, and if there was wet clam, and if soon there'd be little Alfredo Jr and little Bessie-Anne Alfredo running around. Bessie and Alfredo having return’d, the four comrades were once again reunited. It thereupon became evident that there had actually been two bets, as MiniAlfredo and Alfredo had been at odds as to whether Krisis and Fishis had similarly been playing hide the sausage on the beach themselves. And So Todd lost much money.
So the four did sit with others on the balcony, when who should emerge but a flaming gay homosexual, so flamboyantly raging gay as to utterly eclipse Dustin and make him by comparison seem as straight as Hugh Hefner or say.. Krisis. He was gayer even than, to put it in terms an attendee of UC Davis could empathize with, Dan Beaman.
And he did stand behind Todd and stroke his back, causing Todd to quake in absolute indescribable terror and flee screaming into the shrubbery. Alfredo did look at him with anticipation, but he was too drunk to notice, so Alfredo tried to play it off casually. Krisis and Fishes made wise-cracks about exploding sausage, and the drunk homosexual didn't get it.
Presently Fishes brought up going to the party in Downey, and Krisis did echo that sentiment, and Todd was still hiding in the shrubbery, and Alfredo was like "hmm let me think… um no." Minutes later, feeling restless, Krisis and Fishes again lobbied for departure.
The raging homosexual now dispersed, Alfredo was like "hmm," and "lets go to my car." And Todd cautiously emerged from the shrubs. So they went to Alfredo’s car, and Fishis called shotgun, much to Todd's angst, and Krisis was indeed confused himself, for he was under strict orders from Todd to call shotgun, and Krisis was not understanding whether or not Fishes was into Todd or not.
Krisis and Todd were doomed to the back seat, and Todd did take up disproportionate room, and was acting a little questionable himself. Yeah, and Krisis was gravely concerned. And Alfredo was mildly excited. And the hours did pass. And Tiger Army sang thus: “under Saturn’s shadow…” and Todd did many a time say "you awake Alfredo?" and Alfredo thus replied with "no," whereupon Todd spake "oh okay." Similarly upon occasion Alfredo would suddenly wake with Todd's name upon his lips: "Todd you awake?" and he was like “no,” and spake Alfredo: "oh okay."
This did continue for countless hours, and though frequently it was suggested that they proceed to the other party no doubt raging, or at least to Fish’s chateau where no parents were lurking, Alfredo and Todd were insistent upon sleeping together in the pallid automobile. Fishes fell asleep before all of them, but Krisis soon could no longer stand it, and he was like "dammit," and fled the car, and did declare he'd rather sleep on the sidewalk than stay there in that car and urged them one last time to go to the other party.
Fishes tooth did start to hurt, and Krisis did sleep on the sidewalk, and of sympathy from the car there was naught, except for Fishes, whom almost did join Krisis, but it was freezing outside.
The cold predawn hours did pass in that walled bourgeoisie village of Three Arch, and soon Krisis was buried in snow. Eventually Krisis woke up below the crisp blue sky. Climbing from his snow-drift he walked through the silent snowfields. Within the merrily-lit houses passed-out revelers could be seen strewn across the floors.
Krisis descended down to the beach and idly strolled the ocean shore until his phone should happen to ring. And lo it was Alfredo in his Alfredomobile, he had -like a mystical Egyptian mummy- awoken, and he called Krisis back to him (As mummies always do).
Krisis within it, the car and its occupants departed the sleeping bourgeoisie village and left its white walls and three arches behind. Up The Five they did range, that glorious artery of adventure. Quickly disgorging Fishes to her chateau, like a boomerang they returned back south to their homeland, in Mission Viejo. All half asleep, conversation was at a minimum and soon they were at their respective houses.
The next day Krisis departed the region via aerocraft, returning to his favourite university, and Christmas vacation was therefore officially over.
Previous Day: The Exciting Adventures of Spiridonovic Johnny Alfronzo
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