The Agrinautica

   I thought it was rain water.

   I mean, I'd let a bunch of the gallon jugs that had formerly contained jug-wine (before I turned it into brandy) sit outside, and it had rained recently. Sure it had a cap on it, but I'd just moved all the jugs around and have a tendency to put caps back on the jugs (because thats the best way to keep the caps and jugs together).
   So I decided to take a swig of that nice fresh rainwater.

   Firstlyofall, I had neglected to take into account that it had been sitting in the sun, so it was bound to be rather warm. Secondlyofall, it turns out it wasn't rainwater.

   So I lift up this big gallon jug and tilt it back to give myself a nice gulp of rainwater. But instead, hello burning-hot heated brandy!!! O_O

   All distilled liquor comes out crystal clear you see. The colour comes from barrel aging.

   It burned like it was at least 180 proof!! Amid visions of having just consumed a dangerously high concentration of ethanol I desperately spit it out. A quick search provides nothing to support it but I thought I'd heard somewhere that drinking close to pure ethanol is dangerous and can cause that alleged blindness. Perhaps just another alcohol myth. On any account, at the time, in my shock at how much this rainwater burned, I imagined that being superheated the alcohol had somehow risen to the top and I'd consumed pure alcohol, and for a moment the thought of going blind flashed before my eyes. (I think it only tasted stronger than it was because it was hot)

   But then I didn't go blind, and was left just cursing myself for neglecting to label a jug. All brandy has since been contained in the barrel (where it is already beginning to have an amber colour!).

   Now, I was telling this story to the lads at work the following day, and barely had I started when they all looked at me with disgust.
   "You ... were going to drink rainwater?!" ventured one of them. It was clear this was a point of shock for all of them.
   "Um... yeah? Its distilled water?"
   "Around here? Acid rain!!"

   Seriously people. Yes I'm sure we have some pollutants in our rain. In fact, a quick search around the computer internets reveals Southern California rain can have a pH of 4.2 to 4.8 (as opposed to "natural" rain at 5.6), but I can't see any reference to bad health effects from drinking that.
   Now consider, lemonade has a pH of as low as 2, and fresh apples have a pH of 3.3 to 3.9 (source and more!). The fact is, the danger of acid rain isn't that its going to dissolve your face off or is poisonous to drink. The harmful effects of acid rain almost entirely consist of the fact that it alters the pH of entire ecosystems and in extreme cases corrodes things that are constantly out in the rain. Many organisms, from fish to plants, and especially micro-organisms, cannot live in the wrong pH. The loss of some of these causes a cascade failure down the food chain and ecological devastation.
   However, I'm pretty sure I've subjected the contents of my stomach to much more extreme doses of pH. Moreover, in my particular corner of the terra firma, we don't have smog and our rainstorms usually blow in from the sea.


   This discussion, however, brought to mind a montage of recent memories: of every person at work refusing to even so much as smell the honey-brandy liquor I had made, of Jeremy saying he simply would not try the coffee Dave was going to make from the beans on the tree in his yard. Times like this, I can't help but think, wow, you guys are so OC.

   I mean, its RAIN WATER people.

Drops of iodine seconds after being introduced into a bucket of water. Used to sterilize brewing equipment in preparation for bottling.

Ink blot test anyone?

   Last Thursday we had the Bee Busters official holiday dinner at this hoity toity restaurant called Partner's Bistro in Laguna Beach (all the entrees were like $35! O= ) Its always fun to hang out with the Bee Busters family. Dave toasted to the best employees ever and then Jeremy toasted to "the best LUNATIC we could work for" (=


   As to Christmas, I got a new digital camera!! I'm quite excited.
   Also, nibot donated to the San Diego Animal Advocates for me, and I got a bunch of books (remember I happened to mention I have three copies of Beowulf on my bookshelf last entry? Yeah now I have four). Altogether it was pleasant. Mum made big delicious meals on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

   Also we had blue and white lights on our tree and a menorah on the nearby coffee table. We're slowly blending the holidays, soon it'll be a story about how santa couldn't see through the fog until Rudolph lit a menorah for him and carried it along.


   Also this video amuses me and introduced me to the Russian ska band Distemper which I've been listening to all day.

   Yesterday at work I perused countless articles on bee attacks in order to find more sources to cite in my own press releases and such. It quickly became apparent that most of them were about pretty much the exact same thing: people get stung by bees, writer includes a brief overview of the Africanized bee situation, a few quotes are thrown in, the end. Pretty standard really. In fact, so standard that I decided to create a standardized guide to writing bee attack reports (which if followed closely, will actually make the article a lot better than most).


   SO.. you are a reporter, you have been assigned to write up a recent bee attack, and you have found your way here (This was crossposted to my new google-searchable blog). Congratulations, you already appear to be doing more research than most!! Simply follow the following grading rubric to epic success! (the percentages noted refer to the relative importance as if it were being graded. Thus we can use this rubric to look at already-written articles and objectively compare just how bad they suck)

Newsworthiness - up to 33% of total (is your article even really newsworthy?)
(1) Obligatory title that is a pun involving the word "buzz." - Reporters never seem to be able to resist such gems as "the buzz on bees" or "locals buzzing about bees" (we would never do that here of course). For use of a bad pun as a title I actually give minus 10% to your article.
(2) Did anyone get stung more than 10 times? 10% per person up to 33%. 15% per child or elderly woman.
(3) Were any dogs killed? 5% per dog (up to 33%)
(4) Were any people killed? 33%
(5) Other - "Man stung by bees, then hit by car," "Man stung by bees, falls into agricultural thresher and killed," and "Pest control called out to kill bees surrounding homicide victim so police can investigate" were all articles I came across yesterday. Something really odd like this could give the newsworthiness of your article a bonus over 33% (making up for your otherwise bad writing)

Research - up to 33% of total
(1A) Have you cited any entomologists? Offhand I can think of and recommend UC Davis entomologis Dr Eric Mussen, UC Riverside entomologist Kirk Visscher (just do a name search at the respective schools for their contact info), Dr Steven Theones. Orange County (CA) Ag Commission Entomologist Nick Nisson is also a popular local choice but I don't have any personal experience with him. 22% (or you could you know, cite me. thats totally bonus) ;)
(1B) Or did you just cite whomever was on hand dealing with the bees? - Goodwork, they were probably either a general pest control operator who thinks of bees as giant flying ants, or a hobbyist beekeeper who might just be a crazy hippie. 0% (you call that research?)
(2) Have you explained the difference between Africanized and European bees? 11% ( Apis mellifera scutellata etcetera )

   Today I had a job interview to be a private investigator. I think it sounds really interesting!
   I'm guessing they'll investigate me thoroughly, being as thats what they do. So.. hi investigators, you should hire me.
   Makes me cringe to see that googling my name results in an Aggie article about a removal attempt against me, an Aggie letter-to-the-editor calling me a "priviledged white male" and "The Student Court has deemed the concurring opinion published by Kris Fricke invalid. The opinion shall be stricken from the record" (the former Chief Justice's attempt to quash my opinion on the D-1 case). For the record they had no grounds to quash it and I prevailed as the better legalist. Maybe I ought to see if I can get someone to formally purge that quashing attempt from the record this upcoming year (damn you Brent for putting it on the webpage). Oh and also "Kris Fricke is an expert in female attractiveness" comes up (there's apparently a medical professional named Kris Fricke who specializes in female attractiveness and eating disorders). And of course a number of more positive links come up as well.


Picture of the Day

Just another morning at Bee Busters
bottling beer.

   On Friday at work boss had me doing more ebay stuff, and half joked that I'd be doing that full time now. So of course, I half-joked that I should get a raise. Crazyguy then offered me a $2,000/mo salary if I pass the applicators exam ... which is less than I'm making now seeing as for this latest pay period (half-month) I earned $1,300!!
   Somehow it seems I worked 130 hours in this period. I'm currently being paid $10, which is a lot less then I'd settle anwhere else, but I like it here, and AM looking for a real job, and when we work really long hours (our workday is a minimum of 10 hours a day) it does result in me getting paid more than my $14/hr law firm job paid me. I figure if you're at work for 8 hours, you might as well be there for a few more.

   Anyway, later boss realized he had been trippin and offered me a $2,500 salary after the applicators application goes through. As that is STILL less than I can make on hourly at the current rate, I'm gonna see if I can finagle an increased hourly rate instead.
   And in related news, I am aware there is a bit of a taboo in American culture regarding talking about how much you get paid. I don't really see what the beef is.


   But yeah so, after he had me take pictures of some things in the garage, like the 1970 Datsun Roadster, go cart and 16' boat (currently listed for $4,000, $500, & $18,000, respectively) and post them on ebay, craigslist, & other relevant sites, had had me meet him at his place and take pictures of his suprising collection of art, which I will presumably be posting on Monday.
   Incidentally, once before I was employed full time putting things on ebay -- for a summer I was the ebay department for a yarn store.


   On Saturday evening I went to the OC Fair with my friend Jamie and some friends of hers.


Picture of the day

Jamie & I, OC Fair, July 28th, 2007
compare to
Jamie & I, OC Fair, July 28th, 2005

A Day in the Life
   Today Bob and I had a call on the Balboa Pier. We got to drive out 2/3rds of the way to the end of the pier. There we had bees in a trashcan. Without putting on the veil or anything I just tied off the trash-bag and voila, bag o bees. Poked the straw from a can of insecticide into the bag and gassed em and tossed them in the back of our truck.
   Immediately thereafter we were notified there were bees at a Junior Lifeguard building about a hundred yards away, and a lifeguard tower about a mile down the beach.
   At the Junior Lifeguards locatioin the bees were on some kids bike. We vacuumed them up. The staff gave us both junior lifeguards hats (hooray?).
   At the lifeguard tower we found the bees were actually on an umbrella. We informed the owner that since the bees had covered the umbrella with pheromones it would now be forevermore attractive to bees, and she told us we could just take it. So we just took the umbrella and tossed it in the back of our truck.
   Then we we didn't have any other calls lined up for the time being. We considered hanging out somewhere on the beach ... with our new umbrella. Instead we got burritos at this place called "Chronic Tacos" and ate them in a nearby park. Some guy there tried to solicit us to take care of his bees "off the record" but we just told the best way he could do it himself. ...


Colonizing the Blogosphere
   So I get the general impression that livejournal is looked down upon as a place to have a really respectable blog. Blogspot seems to be more or less the place to be -- but I don't get it. Who'll read your blog if you don't have a friends list and aren't an epically famous bloggist? How do you garner epic blog fame if no one has you on a friends list?

   Anyway, I was thinking about starting a blog on blogspot and crossposting some of my more serious entries -- like that last one about CCD -- in hopes that maybe there it'll somehow get found and linked to in other discussions of CCD out in the blogosphere (for example, the wikipedia entry on CCD in several prominantly bad places links to blogs as references, (which is why I recommend checking the references on all noteworthy facts in a wikipedia entry)).

   But I need a new blog name! Honestly, I'd have changed "emosnail" here to something else as well by now, but it has an unprecedented amount of name-recognition in Davis that I don't want to walk out on.
   I need something crafty yet catchy, respectable, but not boring.
   So far the best I've been able to come up with is "Ex Cathedra," though that has a bit too many syllables to be truly catchy. To make matters worse, ExCathedra & Ex-Cathedra are both taken by louts who only posted like three entries four years ago. )=
   I've provisionally gone with Ex-Cathedrian. That by the way is not someone who is formerly from a cathedral, rather Ex Cathedra refers to the Pope speaking in his official capacity. On the Court we used to joke that when I addressed the Senate I was speaking ex cathedra ... which is funny to us because theologically speaking it would mean what I was saying was infallable.. and we figured if I made a reference to speaking ex cathedra the Senators would assume it was a legal term and not object.

   But yeah so, I've got a name thats a mouthful but is an obscure way of saying what I say cannot be wrong. If anyone can think of something similarly crafty, yet more catchy, or such, please let me know!

   Today I spent the day researching and writing up my cross-referenced findings.. and I loved it!
   The downside is that I think I've officially sold out -- I was writing press releases on why people should NOT be trying to have their bees removed live, but rather just opt for extermination.
   But I do believe in what I was writing and I think I made some very good points. The bottem line is no one wants your stinkin unhygenic feral bees. Tomorrow when the press release is finalized I'll post it.

   The instigation of this is that the OC Register has carried a number of articles lately on honeybee Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD), and how OC Beekeepers Association volunteers will remove your bees live, and this allegedly will in some way mitigate the problem (it won't, because commercial beekeepers, who are the ones relevant to the problem, will not accept random feral bees). However this has had a real impact on OUR business at Bee Busters, as now we get over a hundred calls a day from people looking for free live removals, we're losing some business to the OC Beekeepers who do do the removals (god knows what they do with all of them), and calls to botched removal attempts by the volunteers. So boss Dave is really incensed. So we're putting out a press release and letter to the editor in hopes of counteracting the misconception.
   Don't get me wrong, I like bees probably a lot more than you do. I think I'd have more sympathy for not exterminating the feral colonies if they were native to this region, but they are actually an invasive species here (honeybees are not native to the Americas at all). On any account, feral colonies are unhygenic and threaten clean bees with disease. Also here on the front lines of the Africanized Honeybee influx, battling feral colonies is one and the same with battling the influx.

   Anyway though, so today I spent my day calling commercial beekeepers and professional bee researchers for quotes and best reports on the current state of CCD. It felt so good to actually be writing a paper based entirely on primary sources, and on a topic that is actually pertinant to society.

   Tomorrow I'll post the finished letter-to-the-editor and press release, and then I'll explain what is really going on with this Colony Collapse Disorder.


Picture of the Day

I rescued this bee from the pool

   Sunday I went out with my boss Dave and senior technician Ryan on Dave's boat down in San Diego. They did some fishin, I swam around in the water a bit (it was 70º!). It was a pleasant adventure, I got pictures.

nbsp;  Today I road around with Bob. We were pretty busy all day. We had a colony inside my local firestation (while most of the firemen were out dealing with an 18 year old who came back from a night of partying and got into bed, and woke up dead. Or rather, never woke up - scary! Don't do drugs kids.), and a colony that had died some weeks ago and now looked like all kinds of death (I'll put up some pictures later), among many others.


Quotes - (From yesterday evening)
"I thought you put some Cold Ones in the refridgerator?" - Me
"I put your Black Hart in the freezer" - Mom
"You put my heart in the freezer??" - Me

"Is that a frosted beverage?" - Stacey (little brother's girlfriend)
"No, it is my frozen heart!!" - Me.


Picture of the Day

Sunrise in Wyoming
Epic Roadtrip 2007

   The highlight of today was that Jeremy and I were near his house in Huntington Beach around lunchtime, so we stopped in there and made ourselves hotdogs for lunch. I love hotdogs.
   The only other memorably occurance at work today was that a guy called us back for one wasp nest. One wasp nest on first floor eaves. We tried to tell him "You know, for liability reasons I can't tell you this, but if your neighbour were to tell you you could probably just shoot it with Raid and knock it down with a stick, he'd probably be right...." but to no avail. Seriously, what a ninny.

   This evening I saw "Evan Almighty" with Miss Alex Hughes. It was, of course, alarmingly filled with sappiness -- but at least it wasn't a chick flick no?


   Yesterday I had this Mackeson Triple Stout (from Trader Joes) for the first time. It was highly excellent. It just MIGHT be a contender for Best Beer Ever -- I'm going to have to try it side-by-side with Black Hart (our current champion -- also can only be found in Trader Joes).


Picture of the Day

Hi, my name is Kristofer Ransom Oscar Fricke --according to the subpoena I received--, but you can just call me "KROF". (one of those four names is not supposed to be there. Guess which one!)


   Looking for a job sucks. I've been trawling through paralegal jobs on craigslist, but everyone wants experience. I'm still optimistic about the interview I had in Long Beach but I'm still waiting on the background check (I probably overwhelmed their system as they try to dredge through the depths of this lj hah). Also been applying for jobs at the State Department, International Court of Justice, International Criminal Court, etc, but those usually take months to get back to you anyway.

   Anyway today I called Dave Marder, the owner of the Bee Busting company, about a part time job while I look for something else. I talked to him for one minute and 4 seconds. "Be here in work clothes tomorrow morning!"

   Looks like its back to the bee mines! I kind of missed them anyway.