The Agrinautica

   So the next day, Krisis and Alfredo were sitting in Amsterdam's, reputed and local coffee shop, when who should call Alfredo but their comrade, young Todd, AKA MiniAlfredo. And their comrade, young Todd, did say unto them, "hail comrades, dear friends, why don't you come and pick me up?" for he was naught but a wee high school lad. So Alfredo and Krisis, fearless and valiant, did hop in their car and drive down to Todd's. And all the way they did listen to Tiger Army, and Tiger Army sang thus "Tiger Army never dies!!" and "roar."
   Presently, to Todd's suburban hut they arrived. They arrived and made merry.
   Well not really.
   But they were like "Well Todd, our friend MiniAlfredo, what should we do now?" And Todd did respond "Krisis and Alfredo, I think we should go to Amsterdam's coffee"
   And so fearless and valiant and some a bit timid, they sped through the night to Amsterdam’s coffee, and Tiger Army did sing "We came from nowhere!" and "roar."
   Alas Amsterdam’s was by then closed! So they parked Alfredo's car, his albino eclipse, right next to the patio and sat there and listened to music and made merry. And the music did blare "Tiger army never dies!" and "roar!"
   And Todd did pine about his insatiable love for Fishis, and Alfredo did sigh and dream of Kzat, And Krisis was distracted by a small shiny object. Elsewhere Kzat was still dreaming of Jordan as she stocked the various condiments in the condiment stand at the Spectrum Diedrich’s.
   Presently though it was time for young Todd to return to his Suburban hut, his bed time was nigh. Young Todd was fraught with unfulfilled longing for Fishis. And so in uffish thought unhappily he cursed his fate. Defiant, he resolved to sneak out that very night. For vehicular transport he’d enlist his valiant cohorts, Krisis and Alfredo, and boldly they’d charge into the night.
   And again through the night they three did rocket. To Todd's suburban hut they did deploy him, and off to Alfredo's own parental compound. And below the shining moon Krisis alone awaited. While miles away Fishis did mop.
   But soon Alfredo did emerge from his window. With a burlap sack he climbed the barbed wire. Halfway through the subsequent minefield he lost heart and did waver. But wise superfish did call him on his cell phone and spoke thus, “dammit Alfredo, what would Kzat think if she saw you now?” and so filled with courage he bounded across the remaining minefield. Though age'd like Krisis, cruel fate’s iron fist, the mighty parental thumb, holds Alfredo yet longer. For he goes to that esteemed institution that famous university, UCLA (University of California Left off Avery).
   And from there they sped boldly, and found Todd bravely hiding amid some small shrubs. In only a few short minutes they calmed him down, and with him in custody they sped along that glorious freeway, The Five. And when the road did split into the 405 and the 5, they did not dishearten, and arrived successfully at the Spectrum, that glorious beacon. They entered the confines of its white walls by the famous cool waters of the west-side fountain, proceeded among the thatched roofs of the many indigenous shops, till they arrived among the hallowed lions by the food court, newly reshrubbed, and stood before famous Diedrich's Coffee.
   There they found Fishis. Mopping. And she did mop most valiantly, but Krisis, Alfredo and MiniAlfredo were condemned to stand outside and watch said mopping through impassable glass doors. And, ever androgynous, Bob did give them mean and suspicious glances. And they did say among themselves "psh sucks to your ass-mar Bob" For she was bitter, but through those impassable doors she heard them not.
   And Krisis did talk on his cell phone to pass the time, and Fishis was using much profanity under her breath whilst mopping. Presently Todd grew envious of Krisis' occupation and did steal his pen, his treasured and most precious pen and, with eyes of flame, threatened to bend the cap irreparably should Krisis not immediately cease his conversation.
   Powerless, Krisis terminated his conversation like none before and beseeched of Todd much mercy. Alas too late, for irreparable damage was done. Alfredo tried unsuccessfully to heal the treasured and precious pen, and a single tear rolled down brave Krisis’ cheek. And there was much sadness in the world.
   The Pope in Rome did realize something was terribly amiss, and immediately demanded more donations and the faithful did immediately donate much money to the Pope but alas it had no affect on the pen.
   Much later this damage would result in the total loss of said pen, Krisis’ treasured and most precious pen, and never again would one so gifted be found.
   Finally, after much waiting, Fishis did indeed emerge, but immediately they were set upon by a troll that had been hiding unseen in some shrubbery. His name it seems was Pkevyinn (Spelt with a silent P). Our brave protagonists did drive back the wiffling fiend. Krisis held it at bay with his powerful and magic cell phone, while Alfredo somehow attacked with his ever-present breathmints, brave young Todd confused the beast by pretending to be Alfredo, and finally Fishis dispatched the manxome foe by shaking her fist at it definitively. As Pkevyinn, the evil troll, in fear did flee, he burbled an unholy curse; that he would call Fishis no less than once a day for a considerable time thereafter.
   And from there they went off adventuring, in Krisis' red brick, his trusty eurovan. His trusty eurovan did speed along, its cavernous interior carpeted with luxurious Persian rugs, and Alfredo did drive, so he could appreciate the hazards Krisis experiences in trying to drive that rat thing. And he drove very slow for fear of tipping it, and Krisis’ eurovan was unaccustomed to going 60, indeed less than 100, and it was confused. And they did listen to Flogging Molly and Fishis reluctantly sat next to Alfredo. And the music did ring out:
   "I'm ugly and you know it but you think that I'm a poet"
   They did drive down to Laguna Beach, that dubious thorp, for it was there that Taco Loco did stand. And they did eat Taco Loco food, like they do every night, and the rastifarians snuck shrooms in their food, like they did every night, and they did hallucinate, again.
   And they saw a vision of tie-dyed snails shooting lightning at hippies. And they were like "dude." And then there were pink elephants and they were like “dude!”
   But then they piled back into the Brick with its Persian rugs and all and did start drivin'. And they did notice the large amount of toilet paper, newly bought, in the car and were like “hmm.” and they did resolve to go and toilet-paper the car of their comrade Bessie, Alfredo's dear ex.
   And as over the rolling hills of Laguna, that dubious thorp, they drove, they did car surf; standing in the cavernous interior upon the Persian rugs, and made merry. And Flogging Molly did sing “why why why Delilah.” And they didn't know why, but they did toilet paper Bessie's car like never before, because they had never before done it. As swiftly as they came they again diminished into the dark night (indeed in Laguna the night is dark, and many are unaccustomed thereto), in an exit that harkened back to Tiger Army’s “we came from nowhere,” and yet instead, at the time, Flogging Molly sang out “goodbye, Mother Teresa, I hope the kids settle down”
   And they returned to the Spectrum for 5am was well nigh. And there they frolicked and made merry and a cop grew suspicious, and he did waylay them. Spiridonovic was his name, Spiridonovic Johnny Alfronzo.
   But they were crafty like Fox. And they taught him the Echidna Disclaimer, and like many a good UCD RA, he was filled with assurance of their probid behavior. And SJA suspected none of the illegal and illicit things they weren't doing.
   But then they had to bid Fishis adieu, for Alfredo and young Todd had to return before their parental units grew suspicious.
   So Krisis and Alfredo proceeded to the nearest gas station in the trusty eurovan, the brick, whilst Fishis and MiniAlfredo did follow in Fishis’ illustrious minivan, the fishmobile. And as Fishis did gas her illustrious minivan, Alfredo and Krisis did consult with young Todd, and were like "dude, are we hanging with her tomorrow?" the next day being New Years Eve. And Todd did reply unto Alfredo and Krisis in an unsatisfactory and devious manner, such that Krisis and Alfredo were unsure of his meaning; for he was young and unwise.
   So, unsatisfied with Todd's information on events of the subsequent day, Krisis was forced to ask Fishis what was happening on New Years Eve. And it was a bit awkward, indeed wackt, but answers were positive.
   And Fishis thereupon produced food. Yeah, pastries, remaining from the day at Diedrich’s. But alas there was no cheese Danish, for Fishis had eaten it. Months later Krisis would learn that there HAD been a cheese Danish, yet Fishis had eaten it, and Krisis would feel betrayed and confused. By the time Krisis found out though he would be unable to be angry at fair comrade Fishis, for by then he would quite in love with her. Evidently a plot from the beginning to escape blame.
   But again I digress from chronologic progression-- goodbyes then were said and Fishis sped off. And Todd did grumble at Alfredo and Krisis, for he wanted Fishis to himself. And Superfish did suddenly emerge from the darkness and again as so oft before did warn Todd of the dangers inherent in his actions. For all who are wisened well know that on New Years one tends to seek company, and his actions would render him alone with HER friends, and that is of course the most difficult situation for any young lad to find himself in. But alas, wise Superfish’s advice he endeavored to disregard, defiant, and Superfish then scooted off into the night. Floating steadily three sazhens above the ground. And while in distraction he levitated, a truck driver did see him and was duly shocked and awed, and did drive his truck into an orphanage which burst into flame and was razed to the ground in moments, but that is of no consequence to our story.
   So Alfredo, Krisis and young Todd did again speed through the night, down that reputed artery of vehicular adventure, The Five. And Fishis the opposite direction did speed. Flogging molly did play and played they thus “I must head for the Chinas, pray to God I don't drown!” And Alfredo, still driving, still drove at 60, and Krisis was shocked, his car was in disbelief. Eventually though, to Alfredo’s parental compound, they did arrive, and scampered he back in.
   And then Krisis did drive, and they sped through the residential wastelands at well nigh 140. And while thus careening, it came to pass that Krisis and Todd together concluded to toilet paper Alfredo's own vehicle, the pallid eclipse. And so they returned, through the dark morning air. And Fishis did wish that she were to be there, but alas she was sleeping, and indeed unaware. Together young MiniAlfredo and Krisis in the crisp predawn air did render that infamous chalky machine covered in white drapings and tassels.
   Task completed finally they proceeded anew. And the morning did continue. Krisis did shuttle young Todd to his respective family hut, and then progressed less than a mile to his own ancestral estate. And as the sun did peek out from the distant blue sea, Krisis returned to his suburban lair and, crafty like fox (to avoid the sunlight), Krisis entered his cave and engaged in some sleep.


Previous Day: Night Of The Fountain
Following Day: Eve of a Brave New Year