The Agrinautica

   In my five years of involvement in ASUCD, I have seen a lot of extremely shady antics. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe power corrupts, I believe power allows the already-prone-to-corruption to show themselves. There are a lot of scandals in real government, and students love to point these out – but what most people don’t realize is that its not because the people involved in our government are more prone to corruption than your average person – its that they have much greater opportunities (and are under much much greater scrutiny, thus revealing every indiscretion).
   That said, I believe what ASUCD does is show us how badly your average ambitious person behaves when given a little bit of power. Or at least, when not behaving downright badly, it really exhibits how much their perspectives change to what is convenient for them.


The Good List
   Unfortunately, those with exemplary good ethical standards don’t necessarily stand out the way bad ethics do. I would like to start on a good note however, by mentioning those who have impressed me with their ethics:

Surprisingly Admirable:
(ii) ( Ari Kalfayan )

(i) ( Nafeh Malik )

Exemplary Nonstudents:
(ii) ( Don Dudley, SJA & CJB )

(i) ( Mark Champagne )

Actually Exemplary:
(5) ( Go Funai )

(4) & (3) ( Justices Powers & Wheat )

(2) ( Jon Leathers )

(1) ( Aggie Editor-in-Chief Matty Jojola )

   It should be noted, that I cannot account for the most EFFECTIVE people in ASUCD, since I am not in a position to judge how well people are running the busses or running GASC etc etc. The above is a list of those who have had the opportunity to show exemplary ethics (or at least, for the group above that, have more value than people give them credit for). And below, below is a list of the most lacking in ethics.


ASUCD’s Most Ethically Misguided

Mildly Annoying:
(iv) ( Paul Harms )

(iii) ( Kalen Gallagher )

(ii-i) ( Sara Henry & Paloma Perez )

Ethically Dysfunctional:
(22) ( Thomas Lloyd )

(21) ( Anyone who, during their term, abandoned or defected from the platform they were elected on )

(20) ( Jamie Ackerman )

(19) ( Chris Goran )

(18) ( Mary Vasquez )

(17) ( Aggie Reporter Talia Kennedy )

(16) ( Aggie Reporter Aimee Theron )

(15-11) ( Aggie Editor-in-Chiefs Vo, Whelan, Fuller, Stone & Hamilton )

(10) ( Andrew Peake )

(9) ( Kai Savaree-Ruess )

(8-6) ( The Unqualified Candidates )

(5) ( Rob Roy )

(4) ( Kristen Birdsall )

(3) ( Chief Justice Turner )

(2) ( Vice President Beaman )

(1) ( Tiqula Bledsoe )

(BONUS) ( Bonus! )

   And now… I probably have significantly more enemies. It should be noted that I think many of the people mentioned above are very nice people in general. In particular I feel a bit torn about the “Unqualified Candidates” themselves because they all turned out to be pretty nice people and kept themselves out of any further shadiness that I know of, but it would be hard to justify not including them on the list.
   Anyway, my hope in posting this is that people who are just becoming involved in ASUCD will read it and keep in mind what NOT to do in the future.

   So before the ASUCD Court hearing officially began today, plaintiff and current GASC Chair Angelina Malfitano was talking loudly about her new nipple peircings. I proceeded to declare "you know I'm going to mention that in my livejournal now." When the laughter died down I continued "hehe you think I'm kidding," to which she was like "do it!"
   Not a person in the room, not even the recorder whom I'd never seen before, seemed to not get the livejournal reference. Kinda creepy. Hi everyone. Shout out to the recorder, thanks for coming.

   There were some other moments of general hilarity in the room, such as Defendant's Council Chris Goren's motion to submit a playboy as evidence (wasn't during formal Hearing).


Yesterday
   I arrive at PHY137 (nuclear weapons) to find everyone preparing to turn a paper in. I know of no paper. Turns out the assignment was given last week, which I wasn't there for because I hadn't gotten back from the MUN conference yet. Paper is three pages, class is an hour and a half long, I decide to try to write it before the end of class and run down to the computer labs at Hutchinson.
   Power is out in Hutchinson, people are fleeing the basement with only emergency lighting to guide them. So I scamper to the computer lab in the basement of Olson. Closed because there's a class in it. Finally I proceed to the MU computer lab, arriving at 15:30 after half an hour of looking for a computer lab. Because everyone from the other computer labs is there it takes me half an hour to get a computer, so I end up having half an hour to write the paper. I magically get it written in that time and arrive back at class out in engineering land while the teacher is still talking to people after class. Such sauce.


   Now I have an official opinion to write. Hopefully you all (ASUCDers) will see it at Senate tomarrow.