The Agrinautica

   Driving down to Dave's on the Fourth, I saw my first ex, Elena. It was totally like seeing a ghost. I would have pulled over asap to say hi ... but right there where I would have was a motorcycle cop, so it didn't seem like a very bright idea.


   Anyway, on the Fourth of July, AKA Fuck the British Day, I made it to Dave's after the thoroughly distracting Elena incident. He was grilling up some hot dogs and burgers and tri tip, so that was excellent. Had some of the beer we'd brewed in January, it was pretty good.

   From there I went to my coworker Jeremy's (And coworker Bobby's, since Bob lives next door to him). There they were also bbqing and for some reason hellorz young people live on their street, so there were a lot of people there. Jeremy had had to keep his own partying under-control all day since he was 2nd in line of being on call -- since we work 24/7 365/yr.


   This morning at work we called some people Dave knows who are in the bee research business to see if we can drum up a research project for ourselves. Then we sat around tryiing to decide what to do since no calls were coming in. But by midday it picked up and I roamed around with Jeremy killing shit.

   Then this afternoon me and Bob spent our time conducting espoinage. We called all the other pest control companies in the phone book that looked like they might deal with bees and pretended to be customers, to see how their prices were and how on the ball they were. Nearly all were more expensive than us. One said it was $110 to kill normal bees and $180 for africanized bees ... which is funny because they're all a hybrid around here, and it takes a scientist with a microscope several hours to really figure it out. I figure they get people thinking its gonna be $110 and then raise it to 180 when they get there. Someone else said a swarm of bees could be "from the size of a baseball to the size of a car" (WHAT?!?!!). And finally I thought it was funny that Bob was describing his imagined bee problem to a technician and they guy was all asking about the fireplace, but when he got off the phone I was like "you were thinking bees in the canned lightinig weren't you" "yeah." Silly technician.


Picture of the Day

Texas

   On second thought, I'm really not sure anyone actually disputes the Case 31 ruling other than a handful of nutjobs who only believe in government By the legislature For the legislature.

[Poll #720254]

Historicity, continued
   ...Instead, I think I will continue the series on events that took place in the mists of time prior to livejournal. We left off in Sweden in 1998-1999.

   So I returned from Sweden, arriving home 11 hours before I had to start summer school in California. The next morning I was sitting in class trying to get used to the fact that everyone was speaking English all around me. Also, while I was there taking classes for the first time, everyone else was there because they'd failed something.. so man was the class dumbed down and filled with dumbtarded people.
   Returned to work lifeguarding at Wild Rivers.
   Found that my best friend Alberto, who had been thoroughly preppy when I left had redefined himself as a little more edgy and gotten into "death metal" music. Unfortunately he didn't quite realize that some people found this rather scary -- for example when quiet popular girl Melody Diversa went on a date with him and was traumatized because he blasted death metal the whole time they were in his car.
   And this of course was just one of many many amusing incidents of girls basically throwing themselves at Alberto and him totally bungling it.

   Anyway, one day I'm talking to Alberto online and he admits he's got this crush on this redhead, Oakley, who happens to be my math teacher's daughter. So of course I'm like "Oakley? I know Oakley. She's in my MUN class, and now I'm gonna be her new best friend ;) " And then he probably called me, because he always called me the moment I said something interesting, and then I'd be like "DUDE, can't we just talk online?" and then he's like "Dude!" and... yeah.
   Anyway, the next day --which would be Monday the 25th of October, 1999-- around 3:05pm, I run into Oakley by her locker with a friend. So of course I say hi and talk to her a little, and am introduced to her friend, Elena Jordanov.
   To be continued...

Picture of the Day

Bailey is clearly the master of lounging
I'm clearly not the master of redeye reduction

   Alright, so back to the Prehistory Series (on notable events previous this livejournal). October 1999: My best friend Alberto and I had been jocking these two girls Elena & Oakley all week and they invited us hang out with them on Halloween, which was Sunday.

   We picked up the girls near Elena's place (in the void of the north-east corner of this map) and then proceeded with them to Oakley's place (which I think was in Laguna Hills, in the center of that map). There we just kind of hung out. Oakley's parents were around, which kind of freaked me out since her dad was my math teacher. But they mostly kept out of our way.
   And while she and I were outside by ourselves I asked her out, and she therefore became my first girlfriend.

   And then, Elena's parents caught on that something was afoot. And I believe, Alberto and I didnt' even know anything was a foot. But it turns out the girls had executed a harebrained scheme of their own.
   Elena's parents, you see, are not her parents. Rather, her parents are in Bulgaria, and she lived with her wicked aunt & uncle here in the States. An aunt & uncle that believed Elena shouldn't be consorting with the male-types! O=
   So the girls had told Elena's parents that they were trick-or-treating in Elena's neighbourhood, hence us picking them up there. But Elena's uncle noticed that it had been some time since he'd seen any other trick-or-treaters in that neighbourhood, so he called Oakley's parents to see if they had any insight into the situation. Oakley's parents for that matter, thought that nothing was afoot and the girls were supposed to be THERE, with such boys ... and so the parents talking was not good.
   When we learned that Elena's uncle was on his way over and was extremely displeased, and generally doom was descending on the location, Alberto and I said our goodbyes and fled the scene in the Albertomobile.

   As we were speeding back to Mission Viejo on Oso Boulevard, Alberto completely nailed a tall orange traffic pylon someone had placed in the middle of the street right where it crests a hill and curves sharply, such that the thing came out of nowhere. We thought this was a pretty awesome end of the evening -- as it gave us probably the biggest halloween night scare of our lives and did no actual damage.


   The next day in Math class felt extremely awkward for me.
   For the following month people would ask how long Elena & I'd been dating and without pausing to think I'd tell them the number of days -- girls thought this was really cute, but really it was just that since we'd started dating on the 31st, the date in november was always the number of days we'd been dating.
   Alberto never had any success with Oakley, and in fact that evening was probably the high point of their relationship.


Previously on the Pre-History Series
   Start of Current Story: Meeting Oakley & Elena - The previous Monday
   Immediately Previous Entry: Band Room Rats - The week preceding this.

   So I returned from Sweden, arriving home 11 hours before I had to start summer school in California. The next morning I was sitting in class trying to get used to the fact that everyone was speaking English all around me. Also, while I was there taking classes for the first time, everyone else was there because they'd failed something.. so man was the class dumbed down and filled with dumbtarded people.
   Returned to work lifeguarding at Wild Rivers.
   Found that my best friend Alberto, who had been thoroughly preppy when I left had redefined himself as a little more edgy and gotten into "death metal" music. Unfortunately he didn't quite realize that some people found this rather scary -- for example when quiet popular girl Melody Diversa went on a date with him and was traumatized because he blasted death metal the whole time they were in his car.
   And this of course was just one of many many amusing incidents of girls basically throwing themselves at Alberto and him totally bungling it.

   Anyway, one day I'm talking to Alberto online and he admits he's got this crush on this redhead, Oakley, who happens to be my math teacher's daughter. So of course I'm like "Oakley? I know Oakley. She's in my MUN class, and now I'm gonna be her new best friend ;) " And then he probably called me, because he always called me the moment I said something interesting, and then I'd be like "DUDE, can't we just talk online?" and then he's like "Dude!" and... yeah.
   Anyway, the next day --which would be Monday the 25th of October, 1999-- around 3:05pm, I run into Oakley by her locker with a friend. So of course I say hi and talk to her a little, and am introduced to her friend, Elena Jordanov.


Previously on Emosnail
   Previously on the Prehistory Series: Sweden - Spending 10th grade in Sweden...
   Next on the Prehistory Series: Bandroom Rats - and the days immediately following this one.