The Agrinautica

   In response to this interchange, which I thuoght was over, I recently got another email from the same source:

Hello again from The Dr. Bob Jones Institute www.docbojo.com

Previously your website and/or organization was ordered to CEASE and DESIST by the Dr. Bob Jones Institute for being Biblically errant. Our BJI Board of Theological Scholars had found you to be outside our perimeters of accepted CHRISTIAN THEOCRATIC accountability and well on your way to HELL. These conclusions were based upon the direct commands from our LORD and SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST. I, as Director of Operations at the BJI am only the messenger and it was my duty to so inform you. You were given an opportunity to bring your thinking into line with the CORRECT dogmatic precepts of BJI as directed by Christ and we are pleased to announce that YOU have been judged to have done so. These conclusion are based on the many apologetic and confessional responses this office as received from your ilk. Also, Christ is a compassionate and forgiving MASTER and he has made known to the Board of Elders BJI on CORRECT THEOLOGY those that HE hath forgiven for past indiscretions. Some of your organizations were actually ATHEIST groups but JESUS in his LOVE for you has granted forgiveness just as he did the whores and common criminals he forgave in the days HE was upon this earth. Praise HIS NAME and you are darn lucky as I personally would not have been so kind. Consequently, we now announce you may re-establish your WebPages/Organizations AND AS A SPECIAL REWARD for your 'seeing the light' as JESUS so ordered you through BJI, your webpage and/or organization shall now be posted at www.docbojo.com as a link to our powerful CHRISTIAN THEOCRATIC ORGANIZATION. You will find your name listed on the BJI Home page LIST OF LIFE. You are now a whole hearted supporter of the Dr. Bob Jones Institute as is the Bob Jones University and so many others. You have been FORGIVEN! God bless you and congratulations.

michael c. kelley
director of operations, BJI
Arkansas


   I believe there are two possible explanations for this:
1) It's a form-letter sent to all sources that they have identified as having mistakenly been sent their "cease and desisit" form-letter earlier.
2) What I see as more plausible, Jesus himself has interceded on my behalf versus the born-agains. Hey, it happens.


"I Like to Whitewash Oppression and Murder"
   Conservative Aggie columnist Ian Watson published an article today entirely dedicated to how I am an ignorant ogre.
   You see, he apparently saw me the other day wearing the Aeroflot shirt Kristy got me for christmas, and it sent him into a delirious rage. I'm thinking about writing a letter to the editor in response to his column, pointing out that Aeroflot is just an airline, and one that has offered The People ridiculously low air fare in the past, thus allowing the proletariat a chance to traverse the vast Soviet empire in ways they never would have otherwise been able to. Also, the hammer and sickle is not same as a swastika: nazis were first and foremost racist, the soviets were not, and that in my opinion makes them incomparable. Not that I'm saying the Soviet union was divine and I advocate world communist revolution, I just think Ian Watson is overreacting to an airline shirt.

   The following is an actual interchange of emails between Kris Fricke and UC Davis Chancellor Larry Vanderhoef:

From Kris Fricke to Chancellor Vanderhoef:
Chancellor Vanderhoef,

During my four years here at UC Davis I have been under the impression that "cow tipping" was an expellable offense here at UC Davis. Recently it has come to my attention that a respectable website (wikipedia.org) states that cow tipping is not physically feasible and the possibility of doing so is actually an urban legend. In light of this I wanted to confirm whether or not such a rule exists here at UC Davis. If this rule does exist I'd like to note it on Daviswiki.org as well, a site rising quickly in relevancy to the entire Davis community.

I am sure that there are other officers of UC Davis that are probably more specifically qualified to answer this question, but not knowing who they were I thought the most efficient thing might be to have your staff (whomever processes your email) send this down the hierarchy in the appropriate direction.

Kris Fricke
Chief Justice, ASUCD Court


From Chancellor Vanderhoef to Kris Fricke:
Dear Kris:

Student Affairs Vice Chancellor Judy Sakaki will be following up on this and get back to you. In the meantime, so far as I know there is no "cow tipping" policy or rule on campus. At least I have not run across it during my twenty years here. An urban legend...?

Larry N. Vanderhoef